Is this forever...? ~ many different bands ~ Part 7 of about 17
Title: Is this forever...? (Part 7: In Dreams)
Author: Ame
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Rating for this part: NC-17
Genre: slight AU, humour, angst, yaoi
Warnings: bloodplay, occasional violent sexual encounters, a good amount of swearing (unfortunately, it's habitual...)
Pairings (overall): Yu~ki (ex Malice Mizer)x Gackt (solo, S.K.I.N.), Miyavi (solo, S.K.I.N.), Shinya, Kyo, Die, Toshiya, Kaoru (Dir en grey), Atsushi (Buck-Tick), Ruki, Kai, Reita (The GazettE), Yoshiki (X Japan, S.K.I.N., etc.), Mana (Moi Dix Mois), Koji (OC), Közi (solo, ex Malice Mizer), Chachamaru (GacktJOB)
Pairing for this part: Yu~kixToshiya, Yu~kixMiyavi
Current vampires: Yu~ki, Shinya, Kyo, Ruki, Közi, Koji (OC), Miyavi
Summary: One of Malice Mizer's biggest secrets is about to become a very real danger to every famous Jrocker in Japan...
Disclaimer: I own none of the people used in this fanfiction, however the Koji referred to is an original character of mine. I'm making no money off of this.
Comments: Next part for you all! Thank you everyone for reading, and for your wonderful comments :) It's nice just to know someone's reading it, and espeically to know that I can please you. So please enjoy the next chapter!
Toshiya tossed and turned in his bed, throwing pillows and blankets everywhere in a fit. He was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, his brow knitted and his eyes shut tight. Small moans were slipping every so often from his lips, accompanied by pleas for mercy. His hands grasped at thin air more often than not, and then pulled back quickly as if they might be snatched at in return. It had been like this for weeks, the terrible nightmares he never remembered but knew he was having. They plagued him night after night, never letting him sleep well, always making him more exhausted the next morning than he had been when he'd crawled into bed at night. He'd seen two doctors about it, both of whom had prescribed him medicine, but nothing seemed to work. The nightmares persisted, and he kept getting sicker and sicker. Recently, he'd told someone that if he only knew what the dreams were about he felt he could make them go away. But no matter how he tried to cling to the fading memories in the morning, they always managed to slip from his grasp, as insubstantial as smoke.
Tonight was different, though. He'd known it from the very moment he'd woken up that morning, tangled in the bed sheets and sweating profusely. It felt different, and Toshiya hoped dearly that the feeling meant the nightmares would go away. How could he have known the sacrifice that would be? Be careful what you wish for went the age-old adage. Later, Toshiya would wish he'd remembered that.
That night, at 2:00 AM Tokyo time, Toshiya's squirming, fitful body fell perfectly still. His expression melted, smoothing out to an average, peaceful look. His pulse slowed, and his breathing followed, becoming deep and rhythmic. And this time, Toshiya remembered his dreams. The darkness that had been bothering him, attacking him and smothering him in his nightmares, was suddenly banished by a new darkness. This one was gentle, and somewhat cold but relaxing. It eased him to sleep, stroking his skin softly like a cool autumn breeze, lingering on his face before gliding all across him, cooling his body and soothing him into a deep, soft sleep. That night, he would remember only vague things, no details of the thing that had banished the worse darkness and slipped into his mind. He would wake up feeling better than he had for a very, very long time, and fairly well forget about the whole ordeal.
The dreams came back mere weeks later, just before their next tour. He struggled with the darkness for what seemed like ages, before the soft glow of the kinder darkness would overtake it, soothing him into peaceful respite. From that day on, the gentle darkness began to take shape. At first it was only a vague humanoid shape, but slowly it became the semblance of a man, with dark hair and piercing eyes, as Toshiya described it. Sitting at a table with Kaoru and Die one morning, sipping coffee with his legs curled beside him, he got chills at the memory, and smiling described the figure as his "dream man". It didn't get much clearer for a long time, the only thing that became more defined for days being his hands. Strong, thin hands that turned out to be the cool breeze he'd felt soothing his feverish body. The morning after this revelation, Toshiya woke painfully hard at the mere remembrance of the dream, and felt suddenly that the wondrous release from the old nightmares was about to give way to new ones.
When they returned from the tour, Toshiya plopped into his bed almost first thing and fell into a somewhat fitful sleep. This time, however, it wasn't fitful in a painful way. This time, the image was pristine, and was doing absolutely, horribly, perfect things to him. He woke, once more at 2:00 AM, moaning in exstasy. That was the first time Toshiya ever thought something was really wrong. For when he woke, before he opened his eyes, he swore he could still feel those hands, sliding across his body, teasing and torturing him in the most pleasant ways. Those lips...down there...
Toshiya woke fully with a start and sat abruptly up, his current state banished completely from his mind as he felt his blood run cold. Frightened, he drew his blankets around himself and stared into the corners of the dark room. For a long time, he merely sat there, catching his breath and examining the shadows. Nothing moved, however, so he reluctantly settled himself back under the blankets and closed his eyes.
The next morning he strode into practise lighthearted, doing his best to banish all thought of the previous night and succeeding marvellously. A cup of coffee did wonders for a person's mind, he noted, beaming as he stepped through the door and went straight for his bass. Kyo seemed to think so, too, as he had taken to having a cup with him every moment of practise, sipping on it between songs. Toshiya blamed it on his illness, which even though he wouldn't admit to everyone knew he had. Why else would he be so damned pale? Every time Toshiya touched him he got chills, because Kyo was so cold and clammy, but he acted fine so they didn't worry too much about it, anymore. He stalked in through the door with his cup just as Toshiya started tuning his bass, and was followed almost instantly by Shinya. Both of them had troubled looks on their faces, and shared some soft of coldness. Toshiya sighed to himself. They must have been fighting again, he figured, as they seemed to do so often, always way out of earshot so Toshiya felt so left out and helpless. Kaoru came up beside him and glowered at the two.
"Whatever it is between them, they need to get the hell over it. And fast," he mumbled. Toshiya turned and smiled up at him.
"Be nice, Kao-chan, it's just a lover's quarrel!" he teased, and Kaoru shot him a look. Chuckling to himself, and wondering just a little if it actually was, Toshiya turned back to his bass. In a moment Kaoru called them together to start, and Toshiya stood and walked toawrd the rest of them. Kyo set his coffee on his makeshift table, next to the coffee maker he'd fought with Kaoru to have set up, and ran his hand through his hair a few times before picking up the microphone and switching it off. Toshiya cringed at the ring of the microphone, and Kyo cussed at it. Then Kaoru called out the first song, and Shinya counted, and they were off.
"Fucking HELL!" Kaoru screamed, and would have thrown his guitar onto the ground if it hand't been strapped around him. He turned sharply toward Shinya, glaring daggers. "Whatever it is," he said quietly, his very voice making the entire room shrink away in fear. "Get it over with in the next five minutes. Understand?" Shinya's eyes were huge, and he nodded quickly. "I need a fucking smoke," Kaoru declared tiredly, and set his guitar down more carefully before stalking off. Die eyed them before shrugging and setting hsi own guitar in its stand, going to follow Kaoru. Toshiya, however, was tired of being out of the loop, so didn't make any move to leave. Kyo went for his coffee cup and cradled it somewhat, taking long, slow drinks. Shinya had hung his head, and was now hiding behind his hair silently. After a moment, Toshiya plucked a string randomly to break the nervous atmosphere. Kyo shivered and downed the rest of his coffee.
"Do you mind?' he growled, and Toshiya had to fight back a smile. He was right! Slowly, he took off his bass and walked out of the room, stopping outside the door to listen. Nothing happened for a moment, and then Kyo growled in the back of his throat. "Toshiya!" he screamed, and Toshiya jumped. Uncertainly, he backed away from the door and started off. He heard soft voices as he left, and walked backward, trying hard to catch something of the conversation. They had both been acting strangely lately, Kyo with his illness he'd never talk about and Shinya, who had somehow gotten quieter and much easier to offend. He'd actually walked out the last time Kaoru had yelled at him for screwing up. Considering he'd done it a good five times before Kaoru's outburst that day, Toshiya was really surprised they were all still there. He was wondering just what on earth could be going on when he felt something sturdy behind him, and started with a squeak, whirling around. Toshiya stumbled and a cold hand caught his, keeping him on his feet. But as he was looking up to thank the person, feeling his face flush in embarrassment, his words caught his in throat. Dark eyes stared back at him, and Toshiya had a very vivid flashback from the previous night. He barely managed to bite back a moan, and screamed at himself to stay calm. How could he be here! For that matter, how could he be real! Toshiya's heart was racing, and his mind was trying very hard to keep him there, fighting against the will to run for dear life. For as pleasurable as everything had been - and it certainly had been - he remembered very clearly the feeling he'd had that morning. Too real to be a lingering dream...now this, everything...too real...
"Yu~ki!" Toshiya turned abruptly to see Shinya, wide-eyed, standing just outside their practise room. Kyo was leaning against the doorframe, his coffee in his hand and his eyes narrowed just slightly. There was a small smirk on his face, and he bowed his head a little to the man in greeting. The man, Yu~ki, bowed back. Shinya took a few hesitant steps forward and flushed bright red, and Toshiya's brow knitted. A blush...for this guy? And...he said...Yu~ki? Pretty name...Toshiya slapped himself mentally. This was just too confusing. He thought Shinya and Kyo had something going on, but it was absolutely obvious by the way he reacted to this man that he was the one Shinya was interested in.
"Toshiya-san," the man behind him said, and he felt chills run down his spine at his very voice. "Excuse me for a moment." The man strode past him, to Shinya, and beckoned the two of them back into the practise room with him. Unable to resist his curiosity, Toshiya followed slowly as they disappeared into the room, and stopped just within earshot. The voices were soft, but he could tell Yu~ki was reprimanding them for fighting in public. Kyo asked something, and Yu~ki's response was no, to which Kyo scoffed and Shinya made a small squeak. Then suddenly there were footsteps, and Toshiya barely had time to think about running before Yu~ki was standing in front of him, looking down at him coldly. His dark eyes met Toshiya's, and he practically melted, feeling his entire body flush with arousal at the man's very gaze. "You're very impatient," he said after a moment, and as Toshiya opened his mouth to speak only a small half-moan escaped his lips. He blushed again and hid behind his hair.
"I-I'm sorry..." he whispered, starting to tremble. The man's cold hand was suddenly on his chin, and it turned his head up gently to meet his eyes. The eyes were soft now, and slightly hooded, and a small, curving smirk adorned his lips. The hand drifted slowly from his chin, fingers dancing lightly across his cheek, down to his lips, and Toshiya's eyes fluttered closed. "Your guitarist cancelled practise for the rest of the day. Would you like a ride home?" he asked softly. Toshiya couldn't help but moan softly at the very idea. For how could he mean that innocently? After all the things he'd done to him... Toshiya's mind was racing with his heart, telling him this couldn't be good, telling him that if this was real it was very, very wrong. But every other part of him was screaming for it, crying helplessly, begging and pleading so loudly they drowned out every warning. He nodded a little, and the hand fell away from his face, letting his eyes open once more. His vision cleared slowly, and then Yu~ki offered his hand, and Toshiya slipped his into it without a second thought, letting himself be led as he had been for so many nights already. Shinya stepped out of the room and gazed after them as they turned the corner and left, and Kyo came up beside him, still drinking his coffee, a smirk on his lips.
"I told you," he said, chuckling a little. Shinya turned abruptly and slapped him hard, and then strode off to the opposite exit from the one Toshiya and Yu~ki had taken. Outside, Toshiya was trying very hard not to throw himself on the man where he stood, and was abruptly startled from a very deep daydream as he was thrown back against the wall of the building. His breath was knocked out of him, and he coughed, feeling an arm shoved against his chest, pinning him where he was.
"You fucking idiot!" the man screamed. Toshiya blinked his eyes open, and stared weakly at an enraged Gackt. Behind him, Yu~ki stood paralysed, a look of pure hatred slowly taking over his face. "I fucking told you! But you just had to do it anyway, didn't you? Do you want to die, then? Do you!" he demanded, shaking Toshiya. He coughed again, feeling tears welling in his eyes.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he managed weakly. Gackt scoffed.
"Oh like fucking hell you don't. I told you the very first day! You have to remember." His voice was faltering some, the rage on his face being replaced by pain. "God, you're all so stupid..."
"Gackt, what...?" he stuttered. Then it hit him. Almost a week ago, Gackt had called him practically crying, telling him frantically to watch his back, watch out for...what? Suddenly Gackt was picked up by his collar and slammed against the wall next to Toshiya. He collapsed into a heap on the ground, whimpering.
"Please, please..." he was begging. Yu~ki stood above him and was staring down at him as if he were about to kill the man.
"You don't know when to stop, Gakuto..." he muttered. But Gackt didn't respond, and after a moment Yu~ki turned back to Toshiya, his demeanour changing instantly to concern. "Are you alright?" he asked, and brushed the hair out of Toshiya's face gently. As their eyes met again, Toshiya felt the fear he'd been overwhelmed with melt instantly away, and nodded. Yu~ki nodded back after a moment, then offered his arm. Gackt lay forgotten in his heap as they walked off together, arm in arm, and Toshiya's mind went quickly back to its previous pattern.
Gack had passed out by the time he was found, mere moments after Toshiya and Yu~ki had left. A young man, his hands deep in the pockets of a leather jacket and his legs barely covered by severely tattered jeans, leaned down over him and sniffed at him. He sat in a crouch at his side, and withdrew one still-dirty hand to trace over Gackt's face. The gentle touch made Gackt stir, and after a moment he opened his eyes carefully and the young man withdrew his hand. As Gackt's vision swam back into focus, the first thing he noticed was a mismatched pair of eyes, one red and one brown. The young man tilted his head like a curious bird, and eyed him for a moment.
"You called me," he said quietly. Gackt shivered and tried to sit up, but failed. The young man reached out and helped him up effortlessly, sitting him against the wall. He sat down in front of him, brushing his hair with his fingers to make it less messy, and then pulled back and watched him.
"Who are you?" he asked, feeling almost as afraid as he had been when Yu~ki had first come to him, after all that time. The man smiled a little and ruffled his own hair. It was a little damp, as if it had just been washed, and absolutely untamed. Parts of it were dyed blond, and Gackt noted fleetingly a scar across the man's wrist. He laughed softly.
"Do I really look that bad?" he asked, then scoffed. "Stupid question. Do you have any pets?" he asked suddenly. Gackt blinked at him, then shook his head.
"Not here," he answered quietly. The young man nodded.
"Right. Let's go to your place, then, and we can talk." He stood and offered his hand, but Gackt made no move to accept it. After a moment he sighed and stretched his back. "Okay, I know what you're thinking. You know him too, don't you? But I'm not like him, I promise. I swear I won't hurt you." His eyes had darkened at his last phrase, and Gackt shivered again. "My name is Ruki. Maybe you've heard of me. Well, I guess you must have because you called me." Gackt perked up a little. Yes, that's right, he had called Ruki that first day, and had left a message on his machine. Apparently he'd never gotten that message. Ruki offered his hand again, and Gackt took it reluctantly. As soon as he was steady on his feet, Ruki began to stride away. "Okay, your place it is."
Toshiya made a point of not forcing himself onto Yu~ki in the car, and was even gentlemanly enough to go for some wine instead of demanding he fuck him senseless in the doorway. For Yu~ki had come up with him, wordlessly, when he'd gotten out of the car, not having said a thing on the way over. They seemed nervous in a way, and Toshiya certainly knew why he was; as did the strain in his pants. The first thing said between them for what seemed like hours was Toshiya's "Would you like something to drink?", but not even that was allowed to complete itself, as Yu~ki came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist like a lover, cutting him off mid-sentence. The pair of glasses was abandoned beside the sink as Toshiya turned in his arms and kissed him heatedly, moaning as the man's hands went instantly under his shirt. They were cold and fleeting, dancing across the skin of his back lightly, creating that illusion of a breeze once more. All fear was abandoned at the very feeling of being next to the man, his 'dream man'. Yu~ki's kiss was cold, stony almost but enthralling all the same as he pressed against him, moving his lips slowly, his tongue barely teasing across Toshiya's plump bottom lip. Toshiya opened his mouth eagerly and sucked back the man's tongue, fighting with it, and the action seemed to stir him as he suddenly replied in kind, their tongues sliding over each other enthusiastically, Yu~ki's quickly gaining dominance. Yu~ki's hands slid out of his shirt and down, running over his ass and latching onto his thighs. Breaking the kiss for breath, Toshiya shoved his previously too-shocked-to-move hands into the man's hair and began peppering his neck and collarbone with kisses. Yu~ki gasped and ground their hips together, and Toshiya bit down on the curve of his neck, moaning against his skin and making Yu~ki cry out. With hardly any effort, Yu~ki picked Toshiya up and Toshiya instantly wrapped his legs around him, latching onto his shoulders and laving his tongue over the bite mark he'd made.
"Who...who are you?" Toshiya gasped between licks. Yu~ki moaned brokenly in the back of his throat as Toshiya's tongue travelled upward. His hands came away from Toshiya's thighs and to the small of his back, and he placed him on the kitchen counter. Almost hesitantly, he pulled away from him and crushed their lips together.
"You've forgotten me already?" he breathed once the kiss was broken. Toshiya lunged at him shortly and caught one lip in his teeth, sucking it into his mouth for a moment.
"Of course not," he whispered back. Yu~ki smiled a little, and trembled as Toshiya's hands began to unbutton his shirt. "How could I when I see you every night...?" he asked. Yu~ki gasped as his nails scratched lightly over his now exposed chest. "Each wonderful moment of every night...Only I've never been able to touch you back." Frustrated to be losing the upper hand, Yu~ki swiftly unbuttoned Toshiya's pants and before he knew what was happening Yu~ki's thumb was rubbing over the head of his hard cock. "Nngh... Yu~ki~!" Toshiya moaned, throwing his head back and bucking into the hand. But Toshiya had already succeeded in unbuttoning Yu~ki's shirt, and his nails raked down his chest as Yu~ki's hand massaged his manhood. Yu~ki hissed through his teeth and very nearly bit him right then.
"To-Toshiya..." he managed. "You'll have to stop doing that..." Suddenly Toshiya's mouth was on his, and his tongue was shoved haphazardly into Yu~ki's mouth. The slick muscle scraped repeatedly over Yu~ki's fangs as he kissed him, uncaring of the blood. Yu~ki groaned and began to suck on his bleeding tongue mercilessly, gasping and working Toshiya frantically. Toshiya shuddered, and Yu~ki felt his stomach start to twitch. Instantly, he withdrew his hand and pulled away from him, breaking the kiss with a slurp. There was blood on both sets of lips, and Yu~ki moaned at the sight. Toshiya's eyes were shut tight, his brow furrowed and his mouth open in an expression of frustrated ecstasy. He reached out quickly for Yu~ki after a moment, pulling him forward by his shoulders and digging his nails into his skin. His eyes fluttered open, and his hands drifted down the man's torso to his pants, where they began working swiftly.
"Fuck me," he breathed, staring into Yu~ki's eyes with a fiery passion unmatched in any of Yu~ki's victims this century. The smell and taste of Toshiya's blood was overwhelming his senses, and he moaned loudly as Toshiya pushed his pants down and tugged on his erection roughly. "Now." Yu~ki's eyes fluttered closed for a moment, and when he regained control of himself he stared back at Toshiya murderously. His hand came up to Toshiya's chest, and rest there for just a moment before he shoved the man back, throwing him against the wall. Things came crashing off of shelves and Toshiya giggled like a madman as Yu~ki ripped his pants off and stepped out of his own, then pulled Toshiya back up by his wrists. Yu~ki's fangs were bared, and Toshiya growled and made as if baring his own. "I said-" his hand shot out and he pulled Yu~ki by his hips up to him, settling himself right above Yu~ki's hard cock. "Fuck-AAH YU~KI~~!!" His scream ripped through the apartment as Yu~ki shoved himself into his tight ass, simultaneously pulling him close and placing his fangs against his neck. "Mnn...God...Yu~ki..." he moaned breathlessly, baring his neck and digging his nails into the man's shoulders once more, feeling hot blood under his fingers. Yu~ki sat still for a moment, waiting for the expression of pain to melt from Toshiya's face, and slowly pressed his lips against the pulsing skin under him.
"Tell me what you want," he breathed, making Toshiya moan. Toshiya shook his head.
"Everything," he responded, "Anything! Just...just...god, please..." He moved just a little against Yu~ki, unable to do much in his position, and Yu~ki responded instantly by pulling out slowly. Toshiya moaned longingly, his head falling back into Yu~ki's palm. The presence of blood was overwhelming and absolutely intoxicating, and Yu~ki's breath hitched in his throat as he somehow felt Toshiya's blood trickling down beneath his thighs and over his own cock. Toshiya's small plea was enough to send him over the edge, and he thrust back inside of the man, sinking his fangs into his inviting neck. Toshiya let out a small, strangled gasp and moaned, gripping Yu~ki with all his strength as he pounded into him. His eyes fluttered open, and in his murky vision he caught the glaring red light of the stove clock. The image imprinted itself onto his fading sight, and burned bright in the following darkness. 2...2...2:00 PM
Yu~ki whistled to himself as he walked through the streets of Tokyo, striding against the flow of people and turning this way and that, practically dancing as he made his way through them. They ignored him, as they would nearly everything until they got to their destinations, and he revelled in a number of quick smiles, knowing they would never catch the glint of his fangs as he passed. Despite his lack of blood he had a glow to him, and a couple of girls smiled back to his grin as he stepped away from the crowd and wove his way through the thinner throng to his own destination. Once there, he buzzed Miyavi from the gate of his manshon and leaned back against it, settling his hands in his pocket. There was a short buzz in response a moment later, and Yu~ki turned quickly and slid through the gate to the half-open door. The entire house was dark, and Miyavi stood out of the light, peering through the crack in the door. There were large, dark bags under his eyes, and he shot Yu~ki's grin a menacing glare.
"Fucking bastard," he croaked. Yu~ki made a show of pouting, in an odd, fleeting fashion, and Miyavi cocked an eyebrow.
"Now what kind of a way is that to treat your best fuck?" he asked happily. Miyavi choked on a breath and flung the door wide suddenly, dragging him in by his shirt collar before he could say anything more. He slammed the door behind it and locked it quickly, while Yu~ki toed his shoes off and stepped inside the house.
"Oh, no you don't!" Miyavi reprimanded, stalking after him. Turning to him, Yu~ki noted that he had draped a blanket over himself, and was how wearing it like a cloak, hiding under his hair and glaring at him as if the sun was in his eyes. It made him smile ever brighter, which bared his fangs, and Miyavi made a disapproving noise. "I didn't invite you in," he said quietly, and Yu~ki very nearly laughed.
"Of course you did," he said. "Not that it matters." He fell into Miyavi's couch and draped himself over it, smiling suggestively at him. "You're stuffed full of bullshit like that, aren't you?'
"Sure, so I don't need yours. Now get out!" he demanded. Yu~ki's smile faltered, and he gazed up at Miyavi almost disbelievingly. "Are you deaf as well as dead? I said get the fuck out!" His breathing had begun to quicken, and Yu~ki lingered only a moment before jumping up and bowing a little.
"I'm sorry to hear that," he said quietly, and went instantly for his shoes. As soon as he had them on, he disappeared, and Miyavi huffed and fell onto his couch.
It was only two hours before Yu~ki was smiling to himself again, rifling through the large number of missed calls he'd gotten while on the subway as he stepped inside his own house. Shinya was sitting in a chair, reading one of Yu~ki's older books, when he walked in grinning and fell into his winged chair. The younger man peeked at him over the top of the book, but he didn't seem to notice, merely humming to himself a little as he listened to a message. After a moment, however, he sat up and turned his attention to Shinya.
"Shin-chan," he said, his voice still tinted with glee. Shinya pointedly moved the book down some to glance at him. "I'm going to tell you something very important. Are you listening?" Shinya put the book down carefully in his lap and nodded, and Yu~ki smiled again. "Good. I want you to know that you have a gift. You shouldn't abuse it, but you should definitely learn to use it to your best advantage. Even before, you were brimming with sex appeal, and as a vampire you have a certain amount of control you can place over your victims. I want you to practise seducing people with sex. I think it will make your hunting much, much easier. And if you need any help at all, just ask. Humans are fools for sex," he added off-handedly. With that, he turned back to his phone and began to listen to the next message, picking up the song where he'd left off. Shinya made a point of not sighing as he got up slowly, draping a throw over his arms as he sulked back into his bedroom. Yet another day he'd gone unnoticed, and just when he was beginning to think better of the man. Falling onto his bed, he closed his eyes and let out the sigh. Tomorrow, he thought, tomorrow. He wants sex? Well, I'll show him just how innocent this 'angel' is...
Author: Ame
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Rating for this part: NC-17
Genre: slight AU, humour, angst, yaoi
Warnings: bloodplay, occasional violent sexual encounters, a good amount of swearing (unfortunately, it's habitual...)
Pairings (overall): Yu~ki (ex Malice Mizer)x Gackt (solo, S.K.I.N.), Miyavi (solo, S.K.I.N.), Shinya, Kyo, Die, Toshiya, Kaoru (Dir en grey), Atsushi (Buck-Tick), Ruki, Kai, Reita (The GazettE), Yoshiki (X Japan, S.K.I.N., etc.), Mana (Moi Dix Mois), Koji (OC), Közi (solo, ex Malice Mizer), Chachamaru (GacktJOB)
Pairing for this part: Yu~kixToshiya, Yu~kixMiyavi
Current vampires: Yu~ki, Shinya, Kyo, Ruki, Közi, Koji (OC), Miyavi
Summary: One of Malice Mizer's biggest secrets is about to become a very real danger to every famous Jrocker in Japan...
Disclaimer: I own none of the people used in this fanfiction, however the Koji referred to is an original character of mine. I'm making no money off of this.
Comments: Next part for you all! Thank you everyone for reading, and for your wonderful comments :) It's nice just to know someone's reading it, and espeically to know that I can please you. So please enjoy the next chapter!
Toshiya tossed and turned in his bed, throwing pillows and blankets everywhere in a fit. He was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, his brow knitted and his eyes shut tight. Small moans were slipping every so often from his lips, accompanied by pleas for mercy. His hands grasped at thin air more often than not, and then pulled back quickly as if they might be snatched at in return. It had been like this for weeks, the terrible nightmares he never remembered but knew he was having. They plagued him night after night, never letting him sleep well, always making him more exhausted the next morning than he had been when he'd crawled into bed at night. He'd seen two doctors about it, both of whom had prescribed him medicine, but nothing seemed to work. The nightmares persisted, and he kept getting sicker and sicker. Recently, he'd told someone that if he only knew what the dreams were about he felt he could make them go away. But no matter how he tried to cling to the fading memories in the morning, they always managed to slip from his grasp, as insubstantial as smoke.
Tonight was different, though. He'd known it from the very moment he'd woken up that morning, tangled in the bed sheets and sweating profusely. It felt different, and Toshiya hoped dearly that the feeling meant the nightmares would go away. How could he have known the sacrifice that would be? Be careful what you wish for went the age-old adage. Later, Toshiya would wish he'd remembered that.
That night, at 2:00 AM Tokyo time, Toshiya's squirming, fitful body fell perfectly still. His expression melted, smoothing out to an average, peaceful look. His pulse slowed, and his breathing followed, becoming deep and rhythmic. And this time, Toshiya remembered his dreams. The darkness that had been bothering him, attacking him and smothering him in his nightmares, was suddenly banished by a new darkness. This one was gentle, and somewhat cold but relaxing. It eased him to sleep, stroking his skin softly like a cool autumn breeze, lingering on his face before gliding all across him, cooling his body and soothing him into a deep, soft sleep. That night, he would remember only vague things, no details of the thing that had banished the worse darkness and slipped into his mind. He would wake up feeling better than he had for a very, very long time, and fairly well forget about the whole ordeal.
The dreams came back mere weeks later, just before their next tour. He struggled with the darkness for what seemed like ages, before the soft glow of the kinder darkness would overtake it, soothing him into peaceful respite. From that day on, the gentle darkness began to take shape. At first it was only a vague humanoid shape, but slowly it became the semblance of a man, with dark hair and piercing eyes, as Toshiya described it. Sitting at a table with Kaoru and Die one morning, sipping coffee with his legs curled beside him, he got chills at the memory, and smiling described the figure as his "dream man". It didn't get much clearer for a long time, the only thing that became more defined for days being his hands. Strong, thin hands that turned out to be the cool breeze he'd felt soothing his feverish body. The morning after this revelation, Toshiya woke painfully hard at the mere remembrance of the dream, and felt suddenly that the wondrous release from the old nightmares was about to give way to new ones.
When they returned from the tour, Toshiya plopped into his bed almost first thing and fell into a somewhat fitful sleep. This time, however, it wasn't fitful in a painful way. This time, the image was pristine, and was doing absolutely, horribly, perfect things to him. He woke, once more at 2:00 AM, moaning in exstasy. That was the first time Toshiya ever thought something was really wrong. For when he woke, before he opened his eyes, he swore he could still feel those hands, sliding across his body, teasing and torturing him in the most pleasant ways. Those lips...down there...
Toshiya woke fully with a start and sat abruptly up, his current state banished completely from his mind as he felt his blood run cold. Frightened, he drew his blankets around himself and stared into the corners of the dark room. For a long time, he merely sat there, catching his breath and examining the shadows. Nothing moved, however, so he reluctantly settled himself back under the blankets and closed his eyes.
The next morning he strode into practise lighthearted, doing his best to banish all thought of the previous night and succeeding marvellously. A cup of coffee did wonders for a person's mind, he noted, beaming as he stepped through the door and went straight for his bass. Kyo seemed to think so, too, as he had taken to having a cup with him every moment of practise, sipping on it between songs. Toshiya blamed it on his illness, which even though he wouldn't admit to everyone knew he had. Why else would he be so damned pale? Every time Toshiya touched him he got chills, because Kyo was so cold and clammy, but he acted fine so they didn't worry too much about it, anymore. He stalked in through the door with his cup just as Toshiya started tuning his bass, and was followed almost instantly by Shinya. Both of them had troubled looks on their faces, and shared some soft of coldness. Toshiya sighed to himself. They must have been fighting again, he figured, as they seemed to do so often, always way out of earshot so Toshiya felt so left out and helpless. Kaoru came up beside him and glowered at the two.
"Whatever it is between them, they need to get the hell over it. And fast," he mumbled. Toshiya turned and smiled up at him.
"Be nice, Kao-chan, it's just a lover's quarrel!" he teased, and Kaoru shot him a look. Chuckling to himself, and wondering just a little if it actually was, Toshiya turned back to his bass. In a moment Kaoru called them together to start, and Toshiya stood and walked toawrd the rest of them. Kyo set his coffee on his makeshift table, next to the coffee maker he'd fought with Kaoru to have set up, and ran his hand through his hair a few times before picking up the microphone and switching it off. Toshiya cringed at the ring of the microphone, and Kyo cussed at it. Then Kaoru called out the first song, and Shinya counted, and they were off.
"Fucking HELL!" Kaoru screamed, and would have thrown his guitar onto the ground if it hand't been strapped around him. He turned sharply toward Shinya, glaring daggers. "Whatever it is," he said quietly, his very voice making the entire room shrink away in fear. "Get it over with in the next five minutes. Understand?" Shinya's eyes were huge, and he nodded quickly. "I need a fucking smoke," Kaoru declared tiredly, and set his guitar down more carefully before stalking off. Die eyed them before shrugging and setting hsi own guitar in its stand, going to follow Kaoru. Toshiya, however, was tired of being out of the loop, so didn't make any move to leave. Kyo went for his coffee cup and cradled it somewhat, taking long, slow drinks. Shinya had hung his head, and was now hiding behind his hair silently. After a moment, Toshiya plucked a string randomly to break the nervous atmosphere. Kyo shivered and downed the rest of his coffee.
"Do you mind?' he growled, and Toshiya had to fight back a smile. He was right! Slowly, he took off his bass and walked out of the room, stopping outside the door to listen. Nothing happened for a moment, and then Kyo growled in the back of his throat. "Toshiya!" he screamed, and Toshiya jumped. Uncertainly, he backed away from the door and started off. He heard soft voices as he left, and walked backward, trying hard to catch something of the conversation. They had both been acting strangely lately, Kyo with his illness he'd never talk about and Shinya, who had somehow gotten quieter and much easier to offend. He'd actually walked out the last time Kaoru had yelled at him for screwing up. Considering he'd done it a good five times before Kaoru's outburst that day, Toshiya was really surprised they were all still there. He was wondering just what on earth could be going on when he felt something sturdy behind him, and started with a squeak, whirling around. Toshiya stumbled and a cold hand caught his, keeping him on his feet. But as he was looking up to thank the person, feeling his face flush in embarrassment, his words caught his in throat. Dark eyes stared back at him, and Toshiya had a very vivid flashback from the previous night. He barely managed to bite back a moan, and screamed at himself to stay calm. How could he be here! For that matter, how could he be real! Toshiya's heart was racing, and his mind was trying very hard to keep him there, fighting against the will to run for dear life. For as pleasurable as everything had been - and it certainly had been - he remembered very clearly the feeling he'd had that morning. Too real to be a lingering dream...now this, everything...too real...
"Yu~ki!" Toshiya turned abruptly to see Shinya, wide-eyed, standing just outside their practise room. Kyo was leaning against the doorframe, his coffee in his hand and his eyes narrowed just slightly. There was a small smirk on his face, and he bowed his head a little to the man in greeting. The man, Yu~ki, bowed back. Shinya took a few hesitant steps forward and flushed bright red, and Toshiya's brow knitted. A blush...for this guy? And...he said...Yu~ki? Pretty name...Toshiya slapped himself mentally. This was just too confusing. He thought Shinya and Kyo had something going on, but it was absolutely obvious by the way he reacted to this man that he was the one Shinya was interested in.
"Toshiya-san," the man behind him said, and he felt chills run down his spine at his very voice. "Excuse me for a moment." The man strode past him, to Shinya, and beckoned the two of them back into the practise room with him. Unable to resist his curiosity, Toshiya followed slowly as they disappeared into the room, and stopped just within earshot. The voices were soft, but he could tell Yu~ki was reprimanding them for fighting in public. Kyo asked something, and Yu~ki's response was no, to which Kyo scoffed and Shinya made a small squeak. Then suddenly there were footsteps, and Toshiya barely had time to think about running before Yu~ki was standing in front of him, looking down at him coldly. His dark eyes met Toshiya's, and he practically melted, feeling his entire body flush with arousal at the man's very gaze. "You're very impatient," he said after a moment, and as Toshiya opened his mouth to speak only a small half-moan escaped his lips. He blushed again and hid behind his hair.
"I-I'm sorry..." he whispered, starting to tremble. The man's cold hand was suddenly on his chin, and it turned his head up gently to meet his eyes. The eyes were soft now, and slightly hooded, and a small, curving smirk adorned his lips. The hand drifted slowly from his chin, fingers dancing lightly across his cheek, down to his lips, and Toshiya's eyes fluttered closed. "Your guitarist cancelled practise for the rest of the day. Would you like a ride home?" he asked softly. Toshiya couldn't help but moan softly at the very idea. For how could he mean that innocently? After all the things he'd done to him... Toshiya's mind was racing with his heart, telling him this couldn't be good, telling him that if this was real it was very, very wrong. But every other part of him was screaming for it, crying helplessly, begging and pleading so loudly they drowned out every warning. He nodded a little, and the hand fell away from his face, letting his eyes open once more. His vision cleared slowly, and then Yu~ki offered his hand, and Toshiya slipped his into it without a second thought, letting himself be led as he had been for so many nights already. Shinya stepped out of the room and gazed after them as they turned the corner and left, and Kyo came up beside him, still drinking his coffee, a smirk on his lips.
"I told you," he said, chuckling a little. Shinya turned abruptly and slapped him hard, and then strode off to the opposite exit from the one Toshiya and Yu~ki had taken. Outside, Toshiya was trying very hard not to throw himself on the man where he stood, and was abruptly startled from a very deep daydream as he was thrown back against the wall of the building. His breath was knocked out of him, and he coughed, feeling an arm shoved against his chest, pinning him where he was.
"You fucking idiot!" the man screamed. Toshiya blinked his eyes open, and stared weakly at an enraged Gackt. Behind him, Yu~ki stood paralysed, a look of pure hatred slowly taking over his face. "I fucking told you! But you just had to do it anyway, didn't you? Do you want to die, then? Do you!" he demanded, shaking Toshiya. He coughed again, feeling tears welling in his eyes.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he managed weakly. Gackt scoffed.
"Oh like fucking hell you don't. I told you the very first day! You have to remember." His voice was faltering some, the rage on his face being replaced by pain. "God, you're all so stupid..."
"Gackt, what...?" he stuttered. Then it hit him. Almost a week ago, Gackt had called him practically crying, telling him frantically to watch his back, watch out for...what? Suddenly Gackt was picked up by his collar and slammed against the wall next to Toshiya. He collapsed into a heap on the ground, whimpering.
"Please, please..." he was begging. Yu~ki stood above him and was staring down at him as if he were about to kill the man.
"You don't know when to stop, Gakuto..." he muttered. But Gackt didn't respond, and after a moment Yu~ki turned back to Toshiya, his demeanour changing instantly to concern. "Are you alright?" he asked, and brushed the hair out of Toshiya's face gently. As their eyes met again, Toshiya felt the fear he'd been overwhelmed with melt instantly away, and nodded. Yu~ki nodded back after a moment, then offered his arm. Gackt lay forgotten in his heap as they walked off together, arm in arm, and Toshiya's mind went quickly back to its previous pattern.
Gack had passed out by the time he was found, mere moments after Toshiya and Yu~ki had left. A young man, his hands deep in the pockets of a leather jacket and his legs barely covered by severely tattered jeans, leaned down over him and sniffed at him. He sat in a crouch at his side, and withdrew one still-dirty hand to trace over Gackt's face. The gentle touch made Gackt stir, and after a moment he opened his eyes carefully and the young man withdrew his hand. As Gackt's vision swam back into focus, the first thing he noticed was a mismatched pair of eyes, one red and one brown. The young man tilted his head like a curious bird, and eyed him for a moment.
"You called me," he said quietly. Gackt shivered and tried to sit up, but failed. The young man reached out and helped him up effortlessly, sitting him against the wall. He sat down in front of him, brushing his hair with his fingers to make it less messy, and then pulled back and watched him.
"Who are you?" he asked, feeling almost as afraid as he had been when Yu~ki had first come to him, after all that time. The man smiled a little and ruffled his own hair. It was a little damp, as if it had just been washed, and absolutely untamed. Parts of it were dyed blond, and Gackt noted fleetingly a scar across the man's wrist. He laughed softly.
"Do I really look that bad?" he asked, then scoffed. "Stupid question. Do you have any pets?" he asked suddenly. Gackt blinked at him, then shook his head.
"Not here," he answered quietly. The young man nodded.
"Right. Let's go to your place, then, and we can talk." He stood and offered his hand, but Gackt made no move to accept it. After a moment he sighed and stretched his back. "Okay, I know what you're thinking. You know him too, don't you? But I'm not like him, I promise. I swear I won't hurt you." His eyes had darkened at his last phrase, and Gackt shivered again. "My name is Ruki. Maybe you've heard of me. Well, I guess you must have because you called me." Gackt perked up a little. Yes, that's right, he had called Ruki that first day, and had left a message on his machine. Apparently he'd never gotten that message. Ruki offered his hand again, and Gackt took it reluctantly. As soon as he was steady on his feet, Ruki began to stride away. "Okay, your place it is."
Toshiya made a point of not forcing himself onto Yu~ki in the car, and was even gentlemanly enough to go for some wine instead of demanding he fuck him senseless in the doorway. For Yu~ki had come up with him, wordlessly, when he'd gotten out of the car, not having said a thing on the way over. They seemed nervous in a way, and Toshiya certainly knew why he was; as did the strain in his pants. The first thing said between them for what seemed like hours was Toshiya's "Would you like something to drink?", but not even that was allowed to complete itself, as Yu~ki came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist like a lover, cutting him off mid-sentence. The pair of glasses was abandoned beside the sink as Toshiya turned in his arms and kissed him heatedly, moaning as the man's hands went instantly under his shirt. They were cold and fleeting, dancing across the skin of his back lightly, creating that illusion of a breeze once more. All fear was abandoned at the very feeling of being next to the man, his 'dream man'. Yu~ki's kiss was cold, stony almost but enthralling all the same as he pressed against him, moving his lips slowly, his tongue barely teasing across Toshiya's plump bottom lip. Toshiya opened his mouth eagerly and sucked back the man's tongue, fighting with it, and the action seemed to stir him as he suddenly replied in kind, their tongues sliding over each other enthusiastically, Yu~ki's quickly gaining dominance. Yu~ki's hands slid out of his shirt and down, running over his ass and latching onto his thighs. Breaking the kiss for breath, Toshiya shoved his previously too-shocked-to-move hands into the man's hair and began peppering his neck and collarbone with kisses. Yu~ki gasped and ground their hips together, and Toshiya bit down on the curve of his neck, moaning against his skin and making Yu~ki cry out. With hardly any effort, Yu~ki picked Toshiya up and Toshiya instantly wrapped his legs around him, latching onto his shoulders and laving his tongue over the bite mark he'd made.
"Who...who are you?" Toshiya gasped between licks. Yu~ki moaned brokenly in the back of his throat as Toshiya's tongue travelled upward. His hands came away from Toshiya's thighs and to the small of his back, and he placed him on the kitchen counter. Almost hesitantly, he pulled away from him and crushed their lips together.
"You've forgotten me already?" he breathed once the kiss was broken. Toshiya lunged at him shortly and caught one lip in his teeth, sucking it into his mouth for a moment.
"Of course not," he whispered back. Yu~ki smiled a little, and trembled as Toshiya's hands began to unbutton his shirt. "How could I when I see you every night...?" he asked. Yu~ki gasped as his nails scratched lightly over his now exposed chest. "Each wonderful moment of every night...Only I've never been able to touch you back." Frustrated to be losing the upper hand, Yu~ki swiftly unbuttoned Toshiya's pants and before he knew what was happening Yu~ki's thumb was rubbing over the head of his hard cock. "Nngh... Yu~ki~!" Toshiya moaned, throwing his head back and bucking into the hand. But Toshiya had already succeeded in unbuttoning Yu~ki's shirt, and his nails raked down his chest as Yu~ki's hand massaged his manhood. Yu~ki hissed through his teeth and very nearly bit him right then.
"To-Toshiya..." he managed. "You'll have to stop doing that..." Suddenly Toshiya's mouth was on his, and his tongue was shoved haphazardly into Yu~ki's mouth. The slick muscle scraped repeatedly over Yu~ki's fangs as he kissed him, uncaring of the blood. Yu~ki groaned and began to suck on his bleeding tongue mercilessly, gasping and working Toshiya frantically. Toshiya shuddered, and Yu~ki felt his stomach start to twitch. Instantly, he withdrew his hand and pulled away from him, breaking the kiss with a slurp. There was blood on both sets of lips, and Yu~ki moaned at the sight. Toshiya's eyes were shut tight, his brow furrowed and his mouth open in an expression of frustrated ecstasy. He reached out quickly for Yu~ki after a moment, pulling him forward by his shoulders and digging his nails into his skin. His eyes fluttered open, and his hands drifted down the man's torso to his pants, where they began working swiftly.
"Fuck me," he breathed, staring into Yu~ki's eyes with a fiery passion unmatched in any of Yu~ki's victims this century. The smell and taste of Toshiya's blood was overwhelming his senses, and he moaned loudly as Toshiya pushed his pants down and tugged on his erection roughly. "Now." Yu~ki's eyes fluttered closed for a moment, and when he regained control of himself he stared back at Toshiya murderously. His hand came up to Toshiya's chest, and rest there for just a moment before he shoved the man back, throwing him against the wall. Things came crashing off of shelves and Toshiya giggled like a madman as Yu~ki ripped his pants off and stepped out of his own, then pulled Toshiya back up by his wrists. Yu~ki's fangs were bared, and Toshiya growled and made as if baring his own. "I said-" his hand shot out and he pulled Yu~ki by his hips up to him, settling himself right above Yu~ki's hard cock. "Fuck-AAH YU~KI~~!!" His scream ripped through the apartment as Yu~ki shoved himself into his tight ass, simultaneously pulling him close and placing his fangs against his neck. "Mnn...God...Yu~ki..." he moaned breathlessly, baring his neck and digging his nails into the man's shoulders once more, feeling hot blood under his fingers. Yu~ki sat still for a moment, waiting for the expression of pain to melt from Toshiya's face, and slowly pressed his lips against the pulsing skin under him.
"Tell me what you want," he breathed, making Toshiya moan. Toshiya shook his head.
"Everything," he responded, "Anything! Just...just...god, please..." He moved just a little against Yu~ki, unable to do much in his position, and Yu~ki responded instantly by pulling out slowly. Toshiya moaned longingly, his head falling back into Yu~ki's palm. The presence of blood was overwhelming and absolutely intoxicating, and Yu~ki's breath hitched in his throat as he somehow felt Toshiya's blood trickling down beneath his thighs and over his own cock. Toshiya's small plea was enough to send him over the edge, and he thrust back inside of the man, sinking his fangs into his inviting neck. Toshiya let out a small, strangled gasp and moaned, gripping Yu~ki with all his strength as he pounded into him. His eyes fluttered open, and in his murky vision he caught the glaring red light of the stove clock. The image imprinted itself onto his fading sight, and burned bright in the following darkness. 2...2...2:00 PM
Yu~ki whistled to himself as he walked through the streets of Tokyo, striding against the flow of people and turning this way and that, practically dancing as he made his way through them. They ignored him, as they would nearly everything until they got to their destinations, and he revelled in a number of quick smiles, knowing they would never catch the glint of his fangs as he passed. Despite his lack of blood he had a glow to him, and a couple of girls smiled back to his grin as he stepped away from the crowd and wove his way through the thinner throng to his own destination. Once there, he buzzed Miyavi from the gate of his manshon and leaned back against it, settling his hands in his pocket. There was a short buzz in response a moment later, and Yu~ki turned quickly and slid through the gate to the half-open door. The entire house was dark, and Miyavi stood out of the light, peering through the crack in the door. There were large, dark bags under his eyes, and he shot Yu~ki's grin a menacing glare.
"Fucking bastard," he croaked. Yu~ki made a show of pouting, in an odd, fleeting fashion, and Miyavi cocked an eyebrow.
"Now what kind of a way is that to treat your best fuck?" he asked happily. Miyavi choked on a breath and flung the door wide suddenly, dragging him in by his shirt collar before he could say anything more. He slammed the door behind it and locked it quickly, while Yu~ki toed his shoes off and stepped inside the house.
"Oh, no you don't!" Miyavi reprimanded, stalking after him. Turning to him, Yu~ki noted that he had draped a blanket over himself, and was how wearing it like a cloak, hiding under his hair and glaring at him as if the sun was in his eyes. It made him smile ever brighter, which bared his fangs, and Miyavi made a disapproving noise. "I didn't invite you in," he said quietly, and Yu~ki very nearly laughed.
"Of course you did," he said. "Not that it matters." He fell into Miyavi's couch and draped himself over it, smiling suggestively at him. "You're stuffed full of bullshit like that, aren't you?'
"Sure, so I don't need yours. Now get out!" he demanded. Yu~ki's smile faltered, and he gazed up at Miyavi almost disbelievingly. "Are you deaf as well as dead? I said get the fuck out!" His breathing had begun to quicken, and Yu~ki lingered only a moment before jumping up and bowing a little.
"I'm sorry to hear that," he said quietly, and went instantly for his shoes. As soon as he had them on, he disappeared, and Miyavi huffed and fell onto his couch.
It was only two hours before Yu~ki was smiling to himself again, rifling through the large number of missed calls he'd gotten while on the subway as he stepped inside his own house. Shinya was sitting in a chair, reading one of Yu~ki's older books, when he walked in grinning and fell into his winged chair. The younger man peeked at him over the top of the book, but he didn't seem to notice, merely humming to himself a little as he listened to a message. After a moment, however, he sat up and turned his attention to Shinya.
"Shin-chan," he said, his voice still tinted with glee. Shinya pointedly moved the book down some to glance at him. "I'm going to tell you something very important. Are you listening?" Shinya put the book down carefully in his lap and nodded, and Yu~ki smiled again. "Good. I want you to know that you have a gift. You shouldn't abuse it, but you should definitely learn to use it to your best advantage. Even before, you were brimming with sex appeal, and as a vampire you have a certain amount of control you can place over your victims. I want you to practise seducing people with sex. I think it will make your hunting much, much easier. And if you need any help at all, just ask. Humans are fools for sex," he added off-handedly. With that, he turned back to his phone and began to listen to the next message, picking up the song where he'd left off. Shinya made a point of not sighing as he got up slowly, draping a throw over his arms as he sulked back into his bedroom. Yet another day he'd gone unnoticed, and just when he was beginning to think better of the man. Falling onto his bed, he closed his eyes and let out the sigh. Tomorrow, he thought, tomorrow. He wants sex? Well, I'll show him just how innocent this 'angel' is...