Cracked.com is like TVTropes
Golden bits from my latest convo with Jetta:
Cyber Pimp *9mil says:
<3 :D
Last time I was at my friend Emily's house, we talked how we both want to learn to pick locks, hack computers, and hotwire cars.
Someday we shall be Batman villains and team up for a special.
Jetta says:
Can I be the clumsy but loveable henchgirl?
Cyber Pimp *9mil says:
Yes you can! :D
Jetta says:
:D
Cyber Pimp *9mil says:
"Hearst and Pulitzer: total fuckbaskets." 'Fuckbasket' actually sounds like a pretty fun job.
Jetta says:
It does
Cyber Pimp *9mil says:
"As far as we know Toby O'Brien never talked to said medic before writing his tune. Either it's an absolutely bizarre coincidence, or somehow, he just knew. The man was... the Testicle Whisperer."
Jetta says:
...that's almost as awesome as being Cockmaster of the Watcmen
The Testicle Whisperer *9mil says:
Indeed.
"The TrekStor i.Beat.blaxx"
Oh dear God, LOL
Jetta says:
I KNOW RIGHT?! SOMEONE HAD TO HAVE KNOWN?
The Testicle Whisperer *9mil says:
"TrekStor's press release claimed that the device "precisely reflects the desires of the young, trend-conscious target group we are aiming for." And by that target group, they apparently meant the Klan."
I just snorted. Seriously.
Jetta says:
XD
The Testicle Whisperer *9mil says:
"Knowing that this explanation would placate absolutely no one (barring that small contingent of confused, hip-hop-loving Klansmen)..."
Jetta says:
XDD
The Testicle Whisperer *9mil says:
I LOL'd. If there's a third Harold & Kumar movie, that needs to be in it.
Jetta says:
Who obvs only listen to Eminim
And
Omg
I was at Best Buy today
Browsing CDs
And there is a rapper
A white guy named Lil Wyte
The Testicle Whisperer *9mil says:
LOL
Jetta says:
I was lawling so much I scared the Geek Squad
The Testicle Whisperer *9mil says:
XD
"Retardex toothpaste is the first line of defense against bad breath and cavity-causing bacteria. It's also the most poorly named oral hygiene product since the Gator Gripper, a terrifying children's tooth extractor that is one part Tooth Fairy, two parts Yakuza loan shakedown."
The Testicle Whisperer *9mil says:
Dear God
I need K.U.M.
Jetta says:
That's what she said
>.>
The Testicle Whisperer *9mil says:
"Although "Fartfull" merely meant "speedy" in Swedish, IKEA eventually pulled the doohickey from their website. Between its name and design, we wouldn't be surprised if more than one child mistook it for a portable toilet. Hell, maybe that's what it is."
I LOL'd.
Jetta says:
XD You never can tell with IKEA
OMG BTW
THERE IS IKEA DRAMA
CAUSE THEY *CHANGED THEIR FONT*
The Testicle Whisperer *9mil says:
Just more evidence that I need to learn Swedish, is what it is.
THEY CHANGED THEIR FONT?
-has no memory of what their previous font was like, but assumes this is SRS BIZNESS-
Jetta says:
From Futura to Veranda
Which look exactly alike except Veranda is wider spaced and web-friendly
The Testicle Whisperer *9mil says:
xD
Jetta says:
Anyway it could have been worse
Could have been Comic Sans
The Testicle Whisperer *9mil says:
Ewww.
"What this shoe ultimately proved was that Reebok's ad team consisted entirely of a random word generator and a macaw who only knew the word "yes.""
Jetta says:
Or
Gods forbid
Papyrus
And lol marketing macaw clearly there is no flaw in this brilliant plan
The Testicle Whisperer *9mil says:
Marketing Macaw should be a meme.
Jetta says:
It should be XD
I wonder if I made one and started a thread on /b/ if it would take off
The Testicle Whisperer *9mil says:
I bet it would.
Jetta says:
*now has plans for tomorrow after classes*
The Testicle Whisperer *9mil says:
Partly because I'd hunt /b/tards down and MAKE them do it if they didn't.
Also, I love my mom. I read her this bit from Wack Off! insect repellent, used by the Australian military...
"Which, to be fair, would be a hilariously disturbing form of psychological warfare. What would YOU do against a platoon of angry Aussies, dicks a-wagging?"
...and she just did the 'come here' finger wag.
Jetta says:
LMAO
The Testicle Whisperer *9mil says:
Seriously <3