Why can't I be ok?
Ok...I haven't updated in so long.....
Why do I get so excited about all the little things when I know they don't really mean anything?
And why is everything always on me?
why do I have friends but they never seem to treat me like friends?
...geez...what is wrong with me?
I try not talking..maybe then they'll notice, but it doesn't seem to help.
with every relationship I gain, I loose. blah....I don't like crying when I'm in the same house as other people, but it's all I can do to hold it in now.
Why is it that I can count at least eight guys who I've met first and like, but then when they meet my friend they are suddenly in La la land?
I feel bad talking about it, because my friend sometimes friendly flirts with them. (She is nice, she doesn't realize.) And the guys take it the wrong way, like she is flirting with them and meaning it.
SO it makes me feel mean for noticing, and maybe that person just wasn't right for me.
But I keep waiting and waiting...
You know, I kept having these dreams sort of visit with this one guy who just appeared in my dreams, (weird I know.) But I kind of grew to like him, and every time I'd tell myself it was just in my head I'd get a little sign that it wasn't.
I felt the urge to start searching for him, because I felt like I'd searched for him before in different lives, and sometimes I'd find someone who might feel or look like him, but nothing big.
Then I met someone and it felt ok.
The person from my dreams was always first, no matter what flesh(heh) guy I liked, but suddenly it was ok and I stopped having dreams.
Only problem, I can't seem to get the person to notice me....well...I've talked to them before, but once again I'm in a crowded room but I'm all alone.
Why do I get so excited about all the little things when I know they don't really mean anything?
And why is everything always on me?
why do I have friends but they never seem to treat me like friends?
...geez...what is wrong with me?
I try not talking..maybe then they'll notice, but it doesn't seem to help.
with every relationship I gain, I loose. blah....I don't like crying when I'm in the same house as other people, but it's all I can do to hold it in now.
Why is it that I can count at least eight guys who I've met first and like, but then when they meet my friend they are suddenly in La la land?
I feel bad talking about it, because my friend sometimes friendly flirts with them. (She is nice, she doesn't realize.) And the guys take it the wrong way, like she is flirting with them and meaning it.
SO it makes me feel mean for noticing, and maybe that person just wasn't right for me.
But I keep waiting and waiting...
You know, I kept having these dreams sort of visit with this one guy who just appeared in my dreams, (weird I know.) But I kind of grew to like him, and every time I'd tell myself it was just in my head I'd get a little sign that it wasn't.
I felt the urge to start searching for him, because I felt like I'd searched for him before in different lives, and sometimes I'd find someone who might feel or look like him, but nothing big.
Then I met someone and it felt ok.
The person from my dreams was always first, no matter what flesh(heh) guy I liked, but suddenly it was ok and I stopped having dreams.
Only problem, I can't seem to get the person to notice me....well...I've talked to them before, but once again I'm in a crowded room but I'm all alone.