Contemplations
There was a time when I could tell for sure exactly what I wanted.
But today, I admit I am confused. I am not exactly sure how to analyse my situation. Most would say that I have been lucky. Whatever I wish for, I get.
While in school, I had been worried that i wouldn’t get a job because of my mediocre grades and viola, I chanced upon a CEO of a company and I got a job before I graduated.
Then in a cruel twist of fate, when T left Singapore, I had joked that a year from whence he left, he would ask “Shilpa?Shilpa who?” and just like that, we are like strangers today.
I went for a business competition and not only do I get a good group but I end up with the winning team!
SO the question if such good things happen to me, why then, am I still not happy?
In the beginning I used to jump out of bed to get to work. And now, I can barely be bothered. This makes me feel guilty because I know of people who would kill to get a job today.
But I am not satisfied with what I am doing. Yes,I am/will be able to make a difference to organisations who use our products but I want to make a change in someone. For instance, a friend of mine wanted to make a career switch from being a designer at a consultancy firm to a fashion designer. Over the period of time, we would talk and I would encourage her to pursue her dreams. Today, she has already show cased her collection at a fashion show. I want to be able to do that every day. Know that I am irreplaceable somewhere. Here at work, what I do can be replicated by anyone.
I need to know I am making an impact.
I feel this itch in me and the voice isn’t keeping quite.
All i feel like doing is packing my bags and running away.