it's july 11th already?!
last week was my last week of work at whole foods, and i was dreading it and couldn't wait to be done. i quit for several reasons: 1) i wanted a summer! without 40 hour work weeks! for once! 2) this aeberli building project demands tons of time and attention, and needs to be finished by august 26th. 3)i'm a bit burned out in the bakery. 4)i've saved $ so i can still make rent, and late august i begin taking classes fulltime again.
i was surprised to have one of the best weeks of work i've experienced there, with my co-workers being sad i was leaving and hugging me(some of them are so hard to read, i wasnt expecting these things) and staging an all-out buttercream frosting food fight on saturday my last day (in the hair.up the nose. all i could smell was cappucino frosting.) i couldn't have thought of a more positive way to go out, and they not only never even mentioned the mis-scheduling, but asked me to go seasonal so i can stay an employee and come back when i want. pa raaaaise ja eeeeesus. i'm extremely thankful it ended so well.
so it feels weird to not be working, but i am going to try really hard to stay self-motivated with lots of sewing, aeberli stuff, letters, friends visiting, reading books and embroidering pillowcases. i'm bad at finishing things i begin, but i'm hoping for some newness here, and maybe it can happen. stuff with my family still lays heavy on my heart, but i dont feel that anything i do at this point will better the situation except prayer, so i'm trying to just hold out for some grace and understanding.
life is definitely surprising, lately for me in the moments i feel i can predict the best. i've been trying to cite and kill my own expectations for various things: relationships, individuals, sometimes myself. i'm not even sure i've gotten anywhere in doing this yet, but i see it as a facet of my personality that is probably not healthy, and one in which i manage to create my own disappointments. maybe expectation isnt always bad, but personally it seems to not be the best way to think about situations or relationships. it's just so hard for me to not do it...is it a choice? a constant mentality? and i'm grappling with the concepts of faith and expectancy, because i always thought that an aspect of faith was believing something was going to happen before it does, or believing something that you cant yet see or touch, or sometimes something that is too huge to seem possible. so, isnt that expectation? or is it hope? then again, i suppose expecting something from God and from humans are very different issues. i havent thought very much about this, and i don't have any conclusions right now; these are just some questions i've been rolling around...
i was surprised to have one of the best weeks of work i've experienced there, with my co-workers being sad i was leaving and hugging me(some of them are so hard to read, i wasnt expecting these things) and staging an all-out buttercream frosting food fight on saturday my last day (in the hair.up the nose. all i could smell was cappucino frosting.) i couldn't have thought of a more positive way to go out, and they not only never even mentioned the mis-scheduling, but asked me to go seasonal so i can stay an employee and come back when i want. pa raaaaise ja eeeeesus. i'm extremely thankful it ended so well.
so it feels weird to not be working, but i am going to try really hard to stay self-motivated with lots of sewing, aeberli stuff, letters, friends visiting, reading books and embroidering pillowcases. i'm bad at finishing things i begin, but i'm hoping for some newness here, and maybe it can happen. stuff with my family still lays heavy on my heart, but i dont feel that anything i do at this point will better the situation except prayer, so i'm trying to just hold out for some grace and understanding.
life is definitely surprising, lately for me in the moments i feel i can predict the best. i've been trying to cite and kill my own expectations for various things: relationships, individuals, sometimes myself. i'm not even sure i've gotten anywhere in doing this yet, but i see it as a facet of my personality that is probably not healthy, and one in which i manage to create my own disappointments. maybe expectation isnt always bad, but personally it seems to not be the best way to think about situations or relationships. it's just so hard for me to not do it...is it a choice? a constant mentality? and i'm grappling with the concepts of faith and expectancy, because i always thought that an aspect of faith was believing something was going to happen before it does, or believing something that you cant yet see or touch, or sometimes something that is too huge to seem possible. so, isnt that expectation? or is it hope? then again, i suppose expecting something from God and from humans are very different issues. i havent thought very much about this, and i don't have any conclusions right now; these are just some questions i've been rolling around...