(no subject)
Perfection is imperfection... nonsense. That's just a foolish thing people say to comfort them over their failure to reach perfection. I will not sugar coat the harsh realities of life.
However, truth be told ... no human is perfect, and I'd do well to accept that, hm? I think that maybe the first time someone hasn't expected me to have to be perfect.
Father used to rate everything I did: if I did it perfectly, it was adequate. If not, it was inadequate, and I was to do it again, but once I did anything right, there was never any congratulation, no doting upon for it, just the knowledge that at least I wasn't inadequate.
Here, though, I don't think anyone expects me to have to be perfect. I'm on Mars now. I should be free of all of their gazing eyes and expectations, but I'm not. I still feel like they're watching me. I still feel like the spirit of my father is there, standing in the room, casting his vague approval or harsh disapproval upon me as if it were some sort of higher judgment.
No one else here may hold me to the standard of perfection, but I still do. Perfection has always been the standard I've held myself and others to. That's how I've always lived. I don't know how to change that, and honestly, I don't want to. I refuse to give up ...
because von Karmas do not give up.
von Karmas must be strong, stoic, perfect. That's what we are born to be ...