Anarchy
*sighs* nicks out with car...it has a flat tire now....he was out looking for a loan so he can buy a new truck...yet we dont have enough money to go to canada? but money to but him a nice '95 truck. Personally, and this just maybe only, but i think he could drive his truck for a bit longer. Or why cant he buy a fuckin car for like 1500, instead of a 4000 dollar truck? Hell i dont get it?? Someone help me out here? Well im beyond help at this point today. Megan still hasnt replied or emailed me, but she will talk to zach and jenna...they feel the same one in parts? But i get the fucking cold shoulder? Yeah thats cool, heartless bitch wasnt even the words i said, but ya know what? Stop treating me like im the heartless bitch! I went upstairs and laid in my bed for a bit..only to see a box cutter on the floor..so i opened it up to take out two razor blades...they were pretty dule but it was pain....3 lines...anarchy symbol on my lower left caf....not deep, not much blood more i guess a cruise, but none the less pain and light blood...its hard to breath at the moment...like when i went to the hostpital...i think i should stop trying to smoke when i am around people that smoke. cause itll be all the time. blah...im down right now...like down down. all my emotions are blank...i could give two shits right now if someone died...actually thats not true...but i wouldnt mind yelling at someone right now, nicks prolly gonna walk through the door next, so he might get yelled at...i hope he doesnt find it...back to wearing pants for a while...he doesnt pay much attention to me anyway. So if you are my brother reading this...im sorry, and for everyone else that lives here...dont tell nick! I dont care if you think its for my own good, if your not a friend enough to call and talk to me, then you dont deserve to know this shit. You just read in whats peoples journals. So keep your fucking mouth shut or you will be off my list. I dont think that its you trying to protect me by telling him, because im not going to kill my self!? Why the fuck does it matter that i do it? am i hurting you phycially? So i cut, you fucking smoke cigs, does that not hurt me? So i cut, you fucking cant talk to your friends about how you treat them like shit, does that not hurt me? BLAH whatever!