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As usual my life has its ups and downs. Maybe it's just my mind that has its ups and downs. Things had been pretty good for the past week or so, despite minor issues. The last day or two has really brought me down though. Sometimes I feel like my life is going nowhere. Maybe that's because it isn't going anywhere. I feel so trapped, so stuck. I get lost in the happiness of the moment, but when I look at the big picture I realize how empty it is.
I feel like I've missed out on things. I feel like I'm missing out on things. I feel like I will miss out on things if things continue like this.
I had a dream where I found a box of my dolls that I thought were gone forever. It made me happy that they were still there, but then I woke up and they were gone.
I've mentioned this story before, but there's more to it now...When I was a little girl one of my aunts had given me a snow globe. I used to hide out in my tent, listen to the music the snow globe played, and would cry. I wanted to be near my extended family. I barely got to know most of them. I had taken the snow globe out to the living room with me because I loved it so much. My mom ended up accidentally breaking it. I was heart broken. My mom told me she'd buy me a new one, but even as a child I knew it was an empty promise. That was the type of person my mom was. This was when I was about 8 years old. Then on the Christmas when I was 19 years old my mother sent me a snow globe. I was shocked and excited that remembered. It took over 10 years to fulfill something so simple. Recently Nobu accidentally broke that snow globe. I was upset. I wondered if it was a bad omen and perhaps it is.
My mom had a doctor's appointment last week. Everything seemed ok, but there's some concerns with the type of cancer she had and with the type of cancer that is on her side of the family. If she has the one type of cancer, then it rules out the other type of cancer, but if she currently is being affected by that cancer then she could die. However the other type of cancer is pretty much a death sentence if she gets it. It would be good if she has that one type of cancer, but isn't being affected by it. She won't get results for a couple of weeks, so we'll see.
The snow globe could be a bad omen for my mom's health. I don't know how I would feel if my mom died. If anything I worry more so for my cousin. Apparently he was really shaken when his mom died and he was probably there when our grandma died. I don't know what my brother will do. He was always a momma's boy and has lived with her all of these years.
My mom isn't the top of my worries, but it's the only thing I'm willing to talk about right now.
I feel like I've missed out on things. I feel like I'm missing out on things. I feel like I will miss out on things if things continue like this.
I had a dream where I found a box of my dolls that I thought were gone forever. It made me happy that they were still there, but then I woke up and they were gone.
I've mentioned this story before, but there's more to it now...When I was a little girl one of my aunts had given me a snow globe. I used to hide out in my tent, listen to the music the snow globe played, and would cry. I wanted to be near my extended family. I barely got to know most of them. I had taken the snow globe out to the living room with me because I loved it so much. My mom ended up accidentally breaking it. I was heart broken. My mom told me she'd buy me a new one, but even as a child I knew it was an empty promise. That was the type of person my mom was. This was when I was about 8 years old. Then on the Christmas when I was 19 years old my mother sent me a snow globe. I was shocked and excited that remembered. It took over 10 years to fulfill something so simple. Recently Nobu accidentally broke that snow globe. I was upset. I wondered if it was a bad omen and perhaps it is.
My mom had a doctor's appointment last week. Everything seemed ok, but there's some concerns with the type of cancer she had and with the type of cancer that is on her side of the family. If she has the one type of cancer, then it rules out the other type of cancer, but if she currently is being affected by that cancer then she could die. However the other type of cancer is pretty much a death sentence if she gets it. It would be good if she has that one type of cancer, but isn't being affected by it. She won't get results for a couple of weeks, so we'll see.
The snow globe could be a bad omen for my mom's health. I don't know how I would feel if my mom died. If anything I worry more so for my cousin. Apparently he was really shaken when his mom died and he was probably there when our grandma died. I don't know what my brother will do. He was always a momma's boy and has lived with her all of these years.
My mom isn't the top of my worries, but it's the only thing I'm willing to talk about right now.