Most terrible things/emergencies are nothing that can't/won't improve, thank GOODNESS!
Had one of those special days in which emergencies and terrible news presented themselves. It seems to increase with the Christmas season. Everything gets bigger, more dramatic and final in peoples' minds. The end of the year, a chapter, a relationship, job...
A close friend's mother had a stroke a few days ago. The entire family has pulled together and efficiently tended to all that needed tending. They are upset, argue lots, are scared. But they also recognize that this is temporary - she will improve, the family business will be handled, they will stop being as unhappy and anxious as they are now, things will get better.
My own mother has less immediate yet serious and painful health problems. We are concerned about her well being too. But she can function to a point and can and does enjoy life for the most part.
Isn't that really enough to be grateful for? No one is perfect, few are 100% healthy, can't think of a single person who is completely satisfied with where they are right now in life. We all have goals and expectations; good things that keep us going, growing, improving. But we are not guaranteed a tomorrow. We can't assume that we will all live to be 70 or 80 yrs old, most people don't. We may or may not get that job/promotion/partner/perfect body/car/house, whatever it is that we feel we need to be happy/perfect/settled/accomplished.
Just went to top up my cup of tea and stepped into dog pee- really. Decided to add honey to my tea and change sock/clean up and not get upset about it.
Point is, life isn't perfect, neither are we. Perfect people are dull, perfect lives teach us nothing. Dog pee is wet. ;0
Right.
Pets keep me humble, even when I am in mid-ramble about the meaning of life, the universe and tuna fish ;) Sharing an epiphany with a wet sock, not how I saw my day wrapping up.
Where was I? Imperfection....be happy today...no tomorrows...things get better. Okay, no joy/sorrow/pain or pleasure last indefinitely. They are temporary emotions and sensations. We forget pain so quickly it is amazing, a great gift of the brain. Unfortunately it is also difficult to perfectly recall and re-experience pleasure. So I play a game, forget bad (much as possible) focus on and remember good. It's a way of cheating a bit more happiness for myself.
This evening I received a call from someone very close to me (call her X). She was in the ER, blood, pain- very scary stuff. I got there as soon as possible. I calmed myself and others down by emphasizing that, frightening as things seemed, chances were that it would be temporary. Most things are temporary, few things last forever. Most pain and illness are manageable and curable. If this weren't true we'd have far fewer people in existence and more would be limping and complaining ;) Hey, I've had my share of pain and illness! Today I feel pretty good (tired, allergies are acting up but okay overall), today is the day that matters.
After filling my bag with everything I could think of: cash in case we needed meds or a cab or food, a banana, bottle of water, various OTC meds, book, notepad, extra sweater, Kleenex, I got to the ER. X was crying, looked like she was in pain. She confided that she and Y, her boyfriend, where having problems. So he got sent off and X and I had a chat.
I listened to X for a long time and asked questions when I needed clarity. Kept my mind open and really listened to what she felt and not simply what she said. She was very confused and upset. A lot of stressful things had happened in her life recently and this illness was the last straw. She was ready to leave Y for various reasons. She asked me to help. I asked, "Why are you focusing on Y when you are in the ER? What about your health?" Her focus remained on Y, so I went to confront him about her concerns. Seemed like the best thing I could do to help her feel better so I did it.
Y said his piece and I concluded that he really does love X and that some of her negative feelings towards him were coming from outside of the relationship. She seemed to be deflecting immediate and overwhelming concerns onto the relationship- a safe place that she feels she can control more than she can the other things that were bothering her. It took hours of relationship counseling in the ER but we worked things out! Yay!
X's bleeding and pain subsided. After the counseling session she felt much better. Her anxiety was reduced. She was lowest priority in the ER and other people kept getting taken in before her. It was obvious that she would not be seen by a nurse for many more hours, at which point the test results would require a few more hours delay at which point the Dr would tell her to see her Dr tomorrow. There is not much they can do in an ER for the symptoms she had.
So we had the nurse check her pulse, temperature and blood pressure (all normal) and left. At this point X needed a hot shower, food and rest more than anything else. Her blood sugar had dropped and her pain had faded but she was feeling unwell due to a lack of food. Y and I fed her, they dropped me off at home. Both thanked me for the counseling session. X had been ready to stay with me for a bit rather than go home with Y. I was sooo happy to see that she wanted to go home with him. I had really helped :)
The relationship problems are on their way to being improved, they are together. X is not in pain but will see her Dr and work on figuring out what went wrong. Everyone had something to eat, even mom since I brought her something as well.
Mom is upstairs playing with the dog, sounding pretty silly ;P
The cat is purring in my lap.
My socks will get washed.
Will try to go with X to the Dr.
X and Y are sleeping in the same bed, probably holding each other. It is obvious that they love each other very much.
Temporary bad things.
Love, friends, family, pets... not so temporary.
Wow. What a day. Teary eyed. Grateful for and looking forward to tomorrow.
A close friend's mother had a stroke a few days ago. The entire family has pulled together and efficiently tended to all that needed tending. They are upset, argue lots, are scared. But they also recognize that this is temporary - she will improve, the family business will be handled, they will stop being as unhappy and anxious as they are now, things will get better.
My own mother has less immediate yet serious and painful health problems. We are concerned about her well being too. But she can function to a point and can and does enjoy life for the most part.
Isn't that really enough to be grateful for? No one is perfect, few are 100% healthy, can't think of a single person who is completely satisfied with where they are right now in life. We all have goals and expectations; good things that keep us going, growing, improving. But we are not guaranteed a tomorrow. We can't assume that we will all live to be 70 or 80 yrs old, most people don't. We may or may not get that job/promotion/partner/perfect body/car/house, whatever it is that we feel we need to be happy/perfect/settled/accomplished.
Just went to top up my cup of tea and stepped into dog pee- really. Decided to add honey to my tea and change sock/clean up and not get upset about it.
Point is, life isn't perfect, neither are we. Perfect people are dull, perfect lives teach us nothing. Dog pee is wet. ;0
Right.
Pets keep me humble, even when I am in mid-ramble about the meaning of life, the universe and tuna fish ;) Sharing an epiphany with a wet sock, not how I saw my day wrapping up.
Where was I? Imperfection....be happy today...no tomorrows...things get better. Okay, no joy/sorrow/pain or pleasure last indefinitely. They are temporary emotions and sensations. We forget pain so quickly it is amazing, a great gift of the brain. Unfortunately it is also difficult to perfectly recall and re-experience pleasure. So I play a game, forget bad (much as possible) focus on and remember good. It's a way of cheating a bit more happiness for myself.
This evening I received a call from someone very close to me (call her X). She was in the ER, blood, pain- very scary stuff. I got there as soon as possible. I calmed myself and others down by emphasizing that, frightening as things seemed, chances were that it would be temporary. Most things are temporary, few things last forever. Most pain and illness are manageable and curable. If this weren't true we'd have far fewer people in existence and more would be limping and complaining ;) Hey, I've had my share of pain and illness! Today I feel pretty good (tired, allergies are acting up but okay overall), today is the day that matters.
After filling my bag with everything I could think of: cash in case we needed meds or a cab or food, a banana, bottle of water, various OTC meds, book, notepad, extra sweater, Kleenex, I got to the ER. X was crying, looked like she was in pain. She confided that she and Y, her boyfriend, where having problems. So he got sent off and X and I had a chat.
I listened to X for a long time and asked questions when I needed clarity. Kept my mind open and really listened to what she felt and not simply what she said. She was very confused and upset. A lot of stressful things had happened in her life recently and this illness was the last straw. She was ready to leave Y for various reasons. She asked me to help. I asked, "Why are you focusing on Y when you are in the ER? What about your health?" Her focus remained on Y, so I went to confront him about her concerns. Seemed like the best thing I could do to help her feel better so I did it.
Y said his piece and I concluded that he really does love X and that some of her negative feelings towards him were coming from outside of the relationship. She seemed to be deflecting immediate and overwhelming concerns onto the relationship- a safe place that she feels she can control more than she can the other things that were bothering her. It took hours of relationship counseling in the ER but we worked things out! Yay!
X's bleeding and pain subsided. After the counseling session she felt much better. Her anxiety was reduced. She was lowest priority in the ER and other people kept getting taken in before her. It was obvious that she would not be seen by a nurse for many more hours, at which point the test results would require a few more hours delay at which point the Dr would tell her to see her Dr tomorrow. There is not much they can do in an ER for the symptoms she had.
So we had the nurse check her pulse, temperature and blood pressure (all normal) and left. At this point X needed a hot shower, food and rest more than anything else. Her blood sugar had dropped and her pain had faded but she was feeling unwell due to a lack of food. Y and I fed her, they dropped me off at home. Both thanked me for the counseling session. X had been ready to stay with me for a bit rather than go home with Y. I was sooo happy to see that she wanted to go home with him. I had really helped :)
The relationship problems are on their way to being improved, they are together. X is not in pain but will see her Dr and work on figuring out what went wrong. Everyone had something to eat, even mom since I brought her something as well.
Mom is upstairs playing with the dog, sounding pretty silly ;P
The cat is purring in my lap.
My socks will get washed.
Will try to go with X to the Dr.
X and Y are sleeping in the same bed, probably holding each other. It is obvious that they love each other very much.
Temporary bad things.
Love, friends, family, pets... not so temporary.
Wow. What a day. Teary eyed. Grateful for and looking forward to tomorrow.