Aug 15, 2010 15:02
61kg really not happy about this number. I've been away for abit with family and boyfriend so i haven't been able to be so vigilant with my c.counting...
I can really feel the extra pounds and it makes me want to rip my skin off, i am soo irritable restless and discontent. The self hatred is really depressing me.
I WANT TO RECOVER.. I WANT TO BE RID OF THIS HORRIBLE E.D. I WANT FREEDOM TO ENJOY LIFE.
For the first time since i was 11 i am forcing myself to nurture my body in the way i would if i was a child that i was looking after.
I am eating oats and nuts for breakfast with soy milk.
lunch is either a tuna wholemeal sandwich with lettuce or grilled vegetables and chicken..
dinner is chicken/fish/meat and veg.
Trying to stay away from white flour and sugar as they start cravings or purging for me.
I am trying to do 30-40mins of excercise everyday.
I am 10 weeks off drugs.
I PRAY FOR A NEW WAY OF LIFE.