Down We Fall
I'm really scared. PLain and simple, I'm terrified. It's such a scary thing, really. The big "C" word. And on top of all of that, I keep thinking of how it must be on the receiving end. *sighs* I keep praying about it and putting it in God's hands. And I've been trying to be strong for him and all, but still..... it's not easy.
And all this drama, has been quite a distraction. The drama has been horrible and this doesn't downplay the seriousness of it all, but...
Speaking of which, I'm so ashamed. Of all this. I expected better. Actually, I didn't expect it at all. What the hell? I'm so disappointed.
And now, worst of all, everything will change. And dammit... that's the worst thing of all. I was happy. Not that I won't be, but now it's tainted... all for stupid, stupid reasons. Are you serious? I thought I had escaped the last of this kind of things about two years ago, when I dragged myself through a shitload of drama. I chose that, and I wouldn't change a thing, but it led me through many sleepless nights. I learned a lot about trust and acceptance then.. and those choices have led me to be where I am today. That's why I will do what I have to to stick by my friends, no matter what now. Even though it makes me extremely sad to lose what I have gained. But loyalty is something I don't screw around with.
So this is the way it must be.
Okay, so this might be stupid, but I was watching Drake and Josh today with Faith and Luke, and heard a song that I love.
"You were so clever,
You kept it together today,
By the way,
I'll no longer ignore you,
I wanted to show you again,
I'm your friend,
Sometimes we just pretend.
And all I can say is you save me,
Changed all the things that have made me,
Entertaining,
Thoughts are raining,
Down We Fall,
It's all ok,
When I say,
You and I,
Take your time,
I can't wait,
To see you fly.
You don't have to wonder,
I've finally discovered tonight,
You were right,
This is just the beginning,
It's all that I'm tryin' to say,
If I may
You're never in my way "
I love it.
And I'm out.
Here's to a full mind.
God, be with me.
::.:: Bee ::.::
And all this drama, has been quite a distraction. The drama has been horrible and this doesn't downplay the seriousness of it all, but...
Speaking of which, I'm so ashamed. Of all this. I expected better. Actually, I didn't expect it at all. What the hell? I'm so disappointed.
And now, worst of all, everything will change. And dammit... that's the worst thing of all. I was happy. Not that I won't be, but now it's tainted... all for stupid, stupid reasons. Are you serious? I thought I had escaped the last of this kind of things about two years ago, when I dragged myself through a shitload of drama. I chose that, and I wouldn't change a thing, but it led me through many sleepless nights. I learned a lot about trust and acceptance then.. and those choices have led me to be where I am today. That's why I will do what I have to to stick by my friends, no matter what now. Even though it makes me extremely sad to lose what I have gained. But loyalty is something I don't screw around with.
So this is the way it must be.
Okay, so this might be stupid, but I was watching Drake and Josh today with Faith and Luke, and heard a song that I love.
"You were so clever,
You kept it together today,
By the way,
I'll no longer ignore you,
I wanted to show you again,
I'm your friend,
Sometimes we just pretend.
And all I can say is you save me,
Changed all the things that have made me,
Entertaining,
Thoughts are raining,
Down We Fall,
It's all ok,
When I say,
You and I,
Take your time,
I can't wait,
To see you fly.
You don't have to wonder,
I've finally discovered tonight,
You were right,
This is just the beginning,
It's all that I'm tryin' to say,
If I may
You're never in my way "
I love it.
And I'm out.
Here's to a full mind.
God, be with me.
::.:: Bee ::.::