I Like To Think That You Can't Live Without Me
There's this man that I met during my Freshman Year. I didn't know what to think about him. I was instantly attracted to him. He was so incredibly handsome, I thought I would melt. But, being that awkward 'emo' girl I was, I was shy around him and never really let him see the real me. I didn't trust anyone. Not even the amazing man I had just met. I remember that I would always come into class with a long-sleeve jacket, -too insecure to even show my arms for one reason or another - and my hair in a greasy mess. I was not the most beautiful girl in the school. I never thought he would notice me. Gradually, we started to get to know each other. I mean, sitting beside each other in two classes allowed us to get acquainted. I was falling for him so hard. Once I got home, I would log into Yahoo and we would talk and talk and talk. He started to get the real me out of my shell. He began to learn some of the deep dark secrets that I never speak of today and some that I wonder if he remembers. I mean, from 6th grade to 9th grade, I had some problems that I always tried to control. Kelly found out on her own, but I told him with my own free will. I wanted him to know of those problems, as I grew to care about him more than anyone I had ever cared for before. If he cared about me and was my friend, he would accept it and try to help me with it. If he didn't, then he didn't have to have anything to do with me. I know, this makes no sense, but remember this was when I was 14/15.
For Christmas, I got him a present. Some blue Axe. Phoenix, I think is the name. I found out later he used it to catch his cousin, Shawn, on fire. Lol
We talked more and more. Everyone knew we liked each other. I mean, with me it was so obvious that I was in love with this man. And to everyone else, ti was obvious that he was in love with me, but not to me..I cared about him so much. One night, he went to play a scrimmage somewhere pretty far off...I forgot where. But I stayed up until midnight, waiting for him to get home, to make sure he won the game and to make sure he was alright. I drank so much coffee that night and when he got home, he messaged me and then went to bed. But waiting up that late was so worth it.
As I'm typing this, I'm smiling. He has changed me so much. I'm no longer that greasy-haired, fourteen year old, emo girl who is so shy she can't even look at you. I'm a confident, beautiful, eighteen year old woman who is not afraid to show the world how much she loves her man, the man who has stuck with her through so much that it's hard to imagine. He has stuck with me during my worst days and moments. I know that he loves me more than words can describe. More than I love him? Not hardly. But I know that he truly loves me and I will not take that for-granted. He is the most amazing person to have ever walked into my life and I plan to never let him walk out. With college comign up, I know we can manage the distance. Our love for each other is so strong that we can make it through anything. Will it be hard? Yes, but we can do it.
Jeremiah Lance Maynard, I have been yours since Freshman year and I hope to remain yours for the rest of my life. You make me so happy. You bring out things in me that I never knew I had. You are my life. You are my everything. You are mine. I love you so much. I love you with everything I have. Without you, there would not be the woman typing this message now. You have changed my life for the better.