am i supposed to be ok with this?

[missschizo]

why when i am finally content and happy do i get let down? i thought that this was it for me, and now im not so sure, not because i have doubts, but because hes suddenly "only 20 years old". does he realize that he was 20 years old a few months ago when he took me to look at engagement rings? what is space anyway? i understand that were young, but that used to not matter to him. why all of a sudden this future-phobia? is it because i want to fulfill my dreams before i follow him around while he's fulfilling his? it seems like thats when it all started coming apart. he said he was surprised i was taking it so well...well i surprised myself too...im a little more in character now i suppose. wondering when this started happening and what i could have done different. i believe that he loves me. i would never doubt that. i just dont know what we can do to make it better. he asked me last nite "if we broke up do you think we could still be friends" it knocked me off my feet in the worst way. im spent

what is it about me that makes boys realize that they're young and need space? its a fucking curse