Woohoo
Okay my computer isn't as retarded as it once was...thank freaking god.
It feels so freakin' good to actually be able to write in here again, so many things have happened and I have yet to write down what I feel and such.
My birthday was yesterday and it was awesome. Travis, Nate, and Sarah took me to Olive Garden which was fabulous and I enjoyed myself. I drove there and yes, I admit, I shouldn't drive anymore, but oh well. They didn't die. Travis got me this really pretty necklace with matching bracelet and earings, which I love, oh and Travis, my mom says you have wonderful taste...haha. Afterwards I went to Travis and we just layed around and watched TV, and I went home. I bargained with my mom and told her that she didn't have to get me anything for my birthday, which I don't think she was going to anyways, but anywho, for getting me nothing, she had to watch Hunter. Which she agreed, which is awesome. I don't mind taking him wherever I go, but its always nice to get out and not have to worry about everything.
As this year is coming to a close, I really feel blessed. Although 2004 was one of the worst years of my life, I have enjoyed myself. Sure it was bad because of being pregnant, then my mom almost died, Josh was being an ass, and then I almost died, but hey, its all good. I've found out who my true friends are, and although its only a few, I love them so much. Sarah, Nate, and Travis quite possibly are the greatest people known to man. I think that they are the only ones that havn't really screwed me over in one way or another, and despite my flaws, they still stick up for me and they still love me. I feel really blessed for Travis, because well for a million reasons. He thought I was still beautiful even with the roundest belly around, he loves me no matter what and the most important part, he accepts Hunter. Not like accepting like he has to, but because he wants to. What we have is truly the greatest thing I have ever felt in my whole entire life, and quite frankly, its hard to decide what to do with myself. I'm just praying and hoping in the months to come that things go well, because I have a feeling there are some hard times in store. Well no matter what everything will be okay, it'll just be a bitch sometimes.
I'm so incredibly tired though. Being a mom is one tough job. Being a single mom at that is probably a thousand times harder. But I still love my son more than I can even comprehend. You know, its really weird, you don't understand these things until you have a child of your own. I always imagined these things when I was pregnant, but its so different when things are truly real. Although I will admit I do miss my freedom and being able to come and go as I please, I wouldn't trade anything at all.
I can't wait to go back to work, and school. I go back to work late January, and I start Miami in January too. I can't wait to make money again, and I can't wait to get started into classes so I can get closer to becoming a RN. I'm probably going to shoot myself when I'm booked with classes and working and taking care of Hunter but it'll be worth it. I finally feel like I'm really moving on with everything, and laying the foundation for the rest of my life. It's somewhat terrifying, but extremely exciting at the same time. I really truly feel like I'm in control, and the reins that my parents have on me are starting to slip. They still have a lot of say in what I do but for the most part when it comes to me, I'm taking care of myself. The next step is just getting out of this house and being on my own, which will probably be the hardest part. I guess the only thing I really really hope for, is that my parents and everyone in my family be really understanding of me in the months to come. Time will only tell.
Right now things feel so good. And in reality, its only good in a few areas while everything else is pretty crappy. But those few things that are awesome, make life seem so much better. Maybe because before all this, my life was pretty much in shambles. I'm so glad that things are finally looking up.
Well I gotta go, Hunter is gonna wake up realll soon, which means he needs to be changed and fed, and the kid smells, so he needs a bath.
It feels good to be back though, finally.
It feels so freakin' good to actually be able to write in here again, so many things have happened and I have yet to write down what I feel and such.
My birthday was yesterday and it was awesome. Travis, Nate, and Sarah took me to Olive Garden which was fabulous and I enjoyed myself. I drove there and yes, I admit, I shouldn't drive anymore, but oh well. They didn't die. Travis got me this really pretty necklace with matching bracelet and earings, which I love, oh and Travis, my mom says you have wonderful taste...haha. Afterwards I went to Travis and we just layed around and watched TV, and I went home. I bargained with my mom and told her that she didn't have to get me anything for my birthday, which I don't think she was going to anyways, but anywho, for getting me nothing, she had to watch Hunter. Which she agreed, which is awesome. I don't mind taking him wherever I go, but its always nice to get out and not have to worry about everything.
As this year is coming to a close, I really feel blessed. Although 2004 was one of the worst years of my life, I have enjoyed myself. Sure it was bad because of being pregnant, then my mom almost died, Josh was being an ass, and then I almost died, but hey, its all good. I've found out who my true friends are, and although its only a few, I love them so much. Sarah, Nate, and Travis quite possibly are the greatest people known to man. I think that they are the only ones that havn't really screwed me over in one way or another, and despite my flaws, they still stick up for me and they still love me. I feel really blessed for Travis, because well for a million reasons. He thought I was still beautiful even with the roundest belly around, he loves me no matter what and the most important part, he accepts Hunter. Not like accepting like he has to, but because he wants to. What we have is truly the greatest thing I have ever felt in my whole entire life, and quite frankly, its hard to decide what to do with myself. I'm just praying and hoping in the months to come that things go well, because I have a feeling there are some hard times in store. Well no matter what everything will be okay, it'll just be a bitch sometimes.
I'm so incredibly tired though. Being a mom is one tough job. Being a single mom at that is probably a thousand times harder. But I still love my son more than I can even comprehend. You know, its really weird, you don't understand these things until you have a child of your own. I always imagined these things when I was pregnant, but its so different when things are truly real. Although I will admit I do miss my freedom and being able to come and go as I please, I wouldn't trade anything at all.
I can't wait to go back to work, and school. I go back to work late January, and I start Miami in January too. I can't wait to make money again, and I can't wait to get started into classes so I can get closer to becoming a RN. I'm probably going to shoot myself when I'm booked with classes and working and taking care of Hunter but it'll be worth it. I finally feel like I'm really moving on with everything, and laying the foundation for the rest of my life. It's somewhat terrifying, but extremely exciting at the same time. I really truly feel like I'm in control, and the reins that my parents have on me are starting to slip. They still have a lot of say in what I do but for the most part when it comes to me, I'm taking care of myself. The next step is just getting out of this house and being on my own, which will probably be the hardest part. I guess the only thing I really really hope for, is that my parents and everyone in my family be really understanding of me in the months to come. Time will only tell.
Right now things feel so good. And in reality, its only good in a few areas while everything else is pretty crappy. But those few things that are awesome, make life seem so much better. Maybe because before all this, my life was pretty much in shambles. I'm so glad that things are finally looking up.
Well I gotta go, Hunter is gonna wake up realll soon, which means he needs to be changed and fed, and the kid smells, so he needs a bath.
It feels good to be back though, finally.