Love Listing: 1. Last Resort -- Papa Roach
A/N: This here is the result of me forgetting to attach the edited chapter of Harry's Awakening. So, knowing me, expect more of this with my playlist having 100 plus songs and me being a procrastinator of epic proportions.
Betaed by: undiagnosedEpIdEmIcXXotaku
Last Resort - Papa Roach
I didn't want you to do it, is what I wanted to say, however, what came out instead was, "You did it, you can't change anything now."
I tried not to notice how his shoulders clenched at the words…I almost succeeded with the act. His eyes were what hindered me from doing so, his cobalt eyes, which shone with his every emotion, every movement showcasing his exact worries. This quality was something that I envied of him what with me being incapable of such an act. In this instance, however, I wished to the high heavens that he didn't carry himself so tellingly.
"Remus, you have to know I never intended for this to happen. It's just that when he said that comment about you, I lost sight of any semblance of thought process. He doesn't know the first thing about you; he has no right saying any of that! I thought if he came down to the Whomping Willow that he'd-"
"Do you hear yourself?"
Sirius paused, eyes wide, chest rising excitedly with his turbulent emotions.
"You thought you'd bring him down to the Whomping Willow for what purpose exactly? Seeing me lose control? Seeing me become a monster? Seeing me mutilate a fellow classmate?" I took a breath trying to ground myself and not lose any more control than I already had. It was hard to do so though because however much of a free card Sirius Black was he was also one of my few friends, and I'd trusted inexplicably after coming out to him, James, and Peter in third year. The thought that he'd betrayed me so thoughtlessly, even if he did so with in good intentions hurt more than I thought possible.
"Yes, it's true, Snape doesn't know the first thing about me, but how does it help matters by showing me to him transformed into the one thing I hate most about myself? My parents fought tooth and nail to get me into this school; they worked tirelessly to give me this chance and ever since I entered these halls I've tried to keep my head down, be as inconspicuous as possible given the circumstances, and excel in my schooling, to make my parents proud. They gave Headmaster Dumbledore their word that if he allowed me the right to attend Hogwarts that he wouldn't regret his decision, I don't plan on making my parents break their promise. But you see Sirius, that's only the smallest matter in this whole colossal of a mess it's that I trusted you and you let me down."
I was met with a troubled looking Sirius who seemed to have no response besides, "I'm so sorry, Moony."
"I know," because I did; it was obvious with how his eyes were darker around the pupil, with the furrowed crease line on his forehead, and pinched expression of his large expressive mouth. I made a habit of noticing all of these qualities and characteristics that Sirius possessed because until this day I had always looked up to Sirius with his ease in playing the devil may care attitude even when he was dealt a hard card with his family situation. Now, it appeared my observations on Sirius weren't all they had appeared to be, and I was unsure what that would amount to or if I was willing to see the conclusions or the ramifications. Since first year, I had tried to remain isolated from my classmates, but after meeting James, and the ever present Sirius, that was an impossibility because they were like magnets and I the responding force. It was a harrowing idea that due to one mistake that 4 years of friendship could be altered, nonetheless, looking at the pained eyes before me I knew that the bleak thought held true.
Betaed by: undiagnosedEpIdEmIcXXotaku
Last Resort - Papa Roach
I didn't want you to do it, is what I wanted to say, however, what came out instead was, "You did it, you can't change anything now."
I tried not to notice how his shoulders clenched at the words…I almost succeeded with the act. His eyes were what hindered me from doing so, his cobalt eyes, which shone with his every emotion, every movement showcasing his exact worries. This quality was something that I envied of him what with me being incapable of such an act. In this instance, however, I wished to the high heavens that he didn't carry himself so tellingly.
"Remus, you have to know I never intended for this to happen. It's just that when he said that comment about you, I lost sight of any semblance of thought process. He doesn't know the first thing about you; he has no right saying any of that! I thought if he came down to the Whomping Willow that he'd-"
"Do you hear yourself?"
Sirius paused, eyes wide, chest rising excitedly with his turbulent emotions.
"You thought you'd bring him down to the Whomping Willow for what purpose exactly? Seeing me lose control? Seeing me become a monster? Seeing me mutilate a fellow classmate?" I took a breath trying to ground myself and not lose any more control than I already had. It was hard to do so though because however much of a free card Sirius Black was he was also one of my few friends, and I'd trusted inexplicably after coming out to him, James, and Peter in third year. The thought that he'd betrayed me so thoughtlessly, even if he did so with in good intentions hurt more than I thought possible.
"Yes, it's true, Snape doesn't know the first thing about me, but how does it help matters by showing me to him transformed into the one thing I hate most about myself? My parents fought tooth and nail to get me into this school; they worked tirelessly to give me this chance and ever since I entered these halls I've tried to keep my head down, be as inconspicuous as possible given the circumstances, and excel in my schooling, to make my parents proud. They gave Headmaster Dumbledore their word that if he allowed me the right to attend Hogwarts that he wouldn't regret his decision, I don't plan on making my parents break their promise. But you see Sirius, that's only the smallest matter in this whole colossal of a mess it's that I trusted you and you let me down."
I was met with a troubled looking Sirius who seemed to have no response besides, "I'm so sorry, Moony."
"I know," because I did; it was obvious with how his eyes were darker around the pupil, with the furrowed crease line on his forehead, and pinched expression of his large expressive mouth. I made a habit of noticing all of these qualities and characteristics that Sirius possessed because until this day I had always looked up to Sirius with his ease in playing the devil may care attitude even when he was dealt a hard card with his family situation. Now, it appeared my observations on Sirius weren't all they had appeared to be, and I was unsure what that would amount to or if I was willing to see the conclusions or the ramifications. Since first year, I had tried to remain isolated from my classmates, but after meeting James, and the ever present Sirius, that was an impossibility because they were like magnets and I the responding force. It was a harrowing idea that due to one mistake that 4 years of friendship could be altered, nonetheless, looking at the pained eyes before me I knew that the bleak thought held true.