a bag miscellaneous of helplessness
my life has gone down the toilet and is stuck somewhere in the sewers, trying to get to the waste water treatment facility. and thats putting it mildly.
last thursday i woke up to something very scary and disturbing. first thing i noticed was that my sliding door was open a crack. i knew it had been closed when i went to bed. my eyes were immediately drawn to the window next to the door, and it occured to me that i was pretty sure i hadnt left the blinds open that much. then i noticed that the screen wasnt completely in place, and thats when my gaze turned to my puter desk and i see that my tower is missing. mind you, not the monitor nor any other peripherals, and the cables were all neatly unplugged. Thats when a freaked out. someone had come in thru my living room window because i hadnt put the bar in the track to keep it closed against such an intrusion. so i took a minute to get ahold of myself and catch my breath, then i called the police. the officer arrived promptly and took my statement, looked around inside and out, and said he would send someone to get the prints that were on the slider. as i was talking to him, i also noticed that really nothing else had been disturbed in my appt. they hadnt prowled thru my desk, or gone into the other bedroom (the empty one). they knew they wanted my puter, and didnt need any of its attachments. so 1st officer left to look around out in back, and i had to call some people including mom and nemorth. then the 2nd officer showed up, and took the prints. after he left i knew i would need some company so i started calling some ppl from church, cuz they are truly nice and would come visit anytime if i just asked. once i got ahold of someone and knew they were on their way over, i could calm down a little bit. so i decided to go check my mail. only i couldnt find my keyring. i searched for several minutes, thinking i must have misplaced them. then the awful realization dawned on me... they had taken my keys! i rushed out the front door, i was trying to deny the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. but the worst was confirmed when i got out to the parking lot and my car was nowhere to be seen. at this point in time, my brain just completely shut down, did not process the input it was receiving. so i went back inside, thinking to myself now what did i do last nite, where did i park my car? i even started looking for my keys again but that only lasted 1/2 a second before i had to go back out and reaffirm the previous information. my car was GONE and it was because the bastards waltzed rite out my front door w/my puter and keys in their hands and drove away in my car! so even if one of my neighbors had seen someone walking out that they didnt know, they would have thought nothing of it! (not to mention that i rarely see my neighbors, if at all.) needless to say i utterly broke down at that point in time. it took me at least 5 whole minutes to gain control of my sobs of despair to be able to call the police back to report my car missing. the same officer showed up again, and was very kind and sympathetic, saying it was sort of a slow day, and he hoped to have some free time to be able to work on this case (to paraphrase). so after most of the tears are dried up, i realize i need to call work. luckily it was my office day (i didnt have to do a caregiving shift), so it was ok that i didnt go in. i got to spend the day having people over to just visit, keep me company and keep my mind occupied. oh yeah, and luckily (tho very oddly) they didnt bother to paw thru my backpack (which i know my keys were rite next to) or they would have found my wallet. i could have lost all my credit cards and checks, etc. tho i didnt have any cash.
anyway, like i said, life has gone to SHIT in the past week, i NEEEEEEED to move out of this apartment AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE because im having trouble sleeping, and im so stressed that its screwing up my appetite (my brain knows that these are natural reactions to stress, so dont tell me its ok), and its just been put off for too long. like i posted a while ago, i KNEW i should have moved out back when i first said i would.
last thursday i woke up to something very scary and disturbing. first thing i noticed was that my sliding door was open a crack. i knew it had been closed when i went to bed. my eyes were immediately drawn to the window next to the door, and it occured to me that i was pretty sure i hadnt left the blinds open that much. then i noticed that the screen wasnt completely in place, and thats when my gaze turned to my puter desk and i see that my tower is missing. mind you, not the monitor nor any other peripherals, and the cables were all neatly unplugged. Thats when a freaked out. someone had come in thru my living room window because i hadnt put the bar in the track to keep it closed against such an intrusion. so i took a minute to get ahold of myself and catch my breath, then i called the police. the officer arrived promptly and took my statement, looked around inside and out, and said he would send someone to get the prints that were on the slider. as i was talking to him, i also noticed that really nothing else had been disturbed in my appt. they hadnt prowled thru my desk, or gone into the other bedroom (the empty one). they knew they wanted my puter, and didnt need any of its attachments. so 1st officer left to look around out in back, and i had to call some people including mom and nemorth. then the 2nd officer showed up, and took the prints. after he left i knew i would need some company so i started calling some ppl from church, cuz they are truly nice and would come visit anytime if i just asked. once i got ahold of someone and knew they were on their way over, i could calm down a little bit. so i decided to go check my mail. only i couldnt find my keyring. i searched for several minutes, thinking i must have misplaced them. then the awful realization dawned on me... they had taken my keys! i rushed out the front door, i was trying to deny the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. but the worst was confirmed when i got out to the parking lot and my car was nowhere to be seen. at this point in time, my brain just completely shut down, did not process the input it was receiving. so i went back inside, thinking to myself now what did i do last nite, where did i park my car? i even started looking for my keys again but that only lasted 1/2 a second before i had to go back out and reaffirm the previous information. my car was GONE and it was because the bastards waltzed rite out my front door w/my puter and keys in their hands and drove away in my car! so even if one of my neighbors had seen someone walking out that they didnt know, they would have thought nothing of it! (not to mention that i rarely see my neighbors, if at all.) needless to say i utterly broke down at that point in time. it took me at least 5 whole minutes to gain control of my sobs of despair to be able to call the police back to report my car missing. the same officer showed up again, and was very kind and sympathetic, saying it was sort of a slow day, and he hoped to have some free time to be able to work on this case (to paraphrase). so after most of the tears are dried up, i realize i need to call work. luckily it was my office day (i didnt have to do a caregiving shift), so it was ok that i didnt go in. i got to spend the day having people over to just visit, keep me company and keep my mind occupied. oh yeah, and luckily (tho very oddly) they didnt bother to paw thru my backpack (which i know my keys were rite next to) or they would have found my wallet. i could have lost all my credit cards and checks, etc. tho i didnt have any cash.
anyway, like i said, life has gone to SHIT in the past week, i NEEEEEEED to move out of this apartment AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE because im having trouble sleeping, and im so stressed that its screwing up my appetite (my brain knows that these are natural reactions to stress, so dont tell me its ok), and its just been put off for too long. like i posted a while ago, i KNEW i should have moved out back when i first said i would.