tell me something i dont know..
okay so i just dont get it.when someone doesnt like someone they always bash them with words like slut,or bitch,or whore,and some stupid immature highschool reference to some kind of foolish gossip.people are soo dramatic these days.cant we all just get along? i mean im not saying i enjoy everyone,cause i certainly dont,but i just see no reason for people to go around saying immature things about other people cause of some kind of stupid mistake the made,or thing they said,NEWS FLASH:EVERYONE TALKS SHIT ABOUT EVERYONE.if you didnt know that then you've obviously got some issues to sort out.shit happens,but life goes on..life is a neverending cycle of ups and downs and we just have to learn how to live with the bad stuff before we can learn how to enjoy the good stuff..i've been through so much shit this past year,you have no idea,but i've always had so many awesome times,and great friends,and crazy experiences i will never forget.but i sorta realized alot walking around school today,5 years from now,i will probably know around 4 or 5 of the people i spend everyday with this year,and im not gonna care about who fucked who,or who called me a slut,or who made up stupid rumors about me,i mean hey lets face it,i probably wont forget the whole geow thing,but thats just because that was blown way out of proportion and basically everyone in virgina beach has heard the word by now..but yeah what im getting at is high school is just a milestone in our lives,theres so much ahead of us,and im ready for a change.dont get me wrong,my life is great,but i have some things i need to work out,i need to start setting my priorities straight,im sick of all the neverending lectures about how im screwing up my life by skipping school everyday,and how im losing my opprutunity for a good education,i wasn't cut out for school,and i hate it,but who doesnt?who can honestly say they can sit and school and not think,wow i wish i was anywhere other then here,doing anything other then this..i mean but if most of you guys can get yours asses up in the morning and can sit in school for a whole day without skipping classes,then why can't i? im gonna try and do it for a change,and as for all the other shit in my life..im working on it all,i cant change what people think of me,i cant convince anyone whats the truth and whats rumor,and theres nothing i can do about the things that happened in the past except for say im sorry,i've made alot of mistakes,and i would take them back if i could,now theres not much i can do to fix any of that,i dont even know if i want to,or if i ever could or should for that matter,everything pretty much happens for a reason i guess,and alot of you have made me so much stronger then i've ever been before.and i sorta wanna say thanks,but on the other hand..well nevermind..another thing that i realized never ceases to upset me is,when im a bitch to someone,i hate it,i'll tear myself apart for days if i do even the slightest thing to make someone feel like shit,or piss someone off,i hate that more then anything.i used to not be like that,i used to not give a care in the world how i treated some people,but i've realized how it feels to be on the receiving end of it all,and it blows sometimes,and i dont want to be the person that makes people feel like that,i try my hardest to hold in my judgements,and let them have it in a more sincere matter.hurtful words arent always the best way to get through to someone,i've figured that out time and time again.i've noticed lately who have been my real friends in my life,and it's suprising to me to realize that i still,and will probably always know them better then anyone.theres just those people that no matter how much time you've spent apart from each other,you can always tell when they're upset,or when they're mad,that they have a lying face,or when they like someone or when they are truly happy.those are the people that you sincerly got to know,and you learned to love.not just the people you spent time with,or hung out with on vacation,or smoked pot with from time to time.these are your real friends,the people that have really made a impact on your life.and even if you dont know them 5 years from now,youll always remember them.just like youll remember your first love,your first heartbreak,your first kiss,the person you lost your virginity too,the person who never took no for an answer,the person who got you to try pot,the people that taught you what it was to love your friends more then anything else in the world..this is all just part of growing up..i dont know why i felt like getting all intense,today was just a weird day,and it made me think alot.i hope i turn out alright,despite the fact i've fucked up quite a few times in my life,i want to be remembered for something good,not for being a pothead slut that gets fucked up too much,i wanna be something..and im gonna do everything i can do make that happen.time for a cig and a nap.
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