My sister's visit was, quite simply, perfect. We walked almost everywhere, ate a lot of great food, saw Once and LOVED it, took lots of pictures, stayed up late talking in bed, hung out with my friends, ate more great food. It's the first time in at least four years that we've had bulk quality time together (without the nephew/other family around), and the first time in at least six years that we've done something just the two of us for more than a day. I needed it, both as a time to relax and recharge and as a way to connect with her. I'm also especially glad that she and Carlos got to spend a few hours hanging out on Sunday (brunch then a long afternoon at the Landing) -- it means a great deal to me that my two favorite people finally met and spent time getting to know each other. Four days was not enough; I miss having her around all the time.
Had a second date with the guy on Tuesday: We ate lunch at my favorite hole-in-the-wall sandwich shop then saw a movie (The One I Love, best described as a super creepy romantic thriller). It was pretty quick, but I had a good time. He's very engaging, asks a lot of questions, and asked if we could see each other again when he walked me to the train station. We've chatted a bit (through text) throughout the week but haven't made specific plans again -- I'm kind of waiting for him to ask/show initiate in contacting me.
I like hanging out with him. I could like-like him. He's cute. A little stockier than I thought. It's not bad, and I'm not one to talk, and he's still athletic -- it just is what it is? I'm not immediately attracted to him; but I'm not NOT attracted to him. (To be fair, I'm almost never physically attracted to someone right away. I can count on one hand the number of times I've ever had an instantaneous physical reaction to another person.) I'd like to know more about his personal history. And I want to know if his taking charge behavior (insisting on paying for everything to the point of paying for everything, calling a car despite my confidence in taking a train, walking me to the subway) is just him in the beginning of dating or if it's a strong personality trait. Because I like someone taking charge but not to the point that it means I don't get to do anything. I have to talk myself down from bristling when I think about him insisting on paying for stuff because I can only (fairly) assume that it's him being nice and not bossy or commandeering. I also don't want to "owe" anyone anything, physical, monetary, or otherwise, but I'm also not destitute and want to participate in the creation of this partnership, whatever is comes to.
Now I'm antsy and irritated with myself because, through the course of the week, I've allowed myself to be open to the possibility of feelings, and it makes me feel a little crazy. I want him to text, I want him to show interest, I want to be wanted (I waaant yooou to want meee....), and I don't want to be That Girl. I've given myself permission to be out there -- I just don't want it to be for naught, and I can't control it, and that makes me downright itchy. In person, he seems to be into me -- START ACTING LIKE IT, DUDE, OR I WILL GIVE UP ON YOU SIMPLY BECAUSE I CAN ONLY PLAY IT COOL FOR SO LONG.
In slightly related news, I had a drink last night with a girl. The week before, a straight girl on OkCupid said hello, and I responded, and a few messages later, we made plans to get together, and I'm still not sure why. She never expressed a specific interest in friends or more, her profile says she's looking for relationships only with straight guys, and we hung out an hour talking work and friends and interests, then went on our merry ways. I said yes because of the trying to be open thing, and because she's very pretty and used to run triathalons and I was so confused as to what she might want from me and the only way (I thought) to find out was to show up. Like I said, still no clue because it was a perfectly pleasant hour and haven't heard anything since (and have no idea what I would text her beyond last night was nice), but I went and came out the other side and still have my dignity. Whatever.
Flight to California for Thanksgiving is booked! Landing in San Francisco on Saturday the 22nd. Will drive down to the Valley on Sunday, spend the week with family and friends, drive back up to the Bay on Saturday or Sunday, and take a redeye back to New York on Monday evening. The redeye part is not ideal (I land around 11a on Tuesday and will go back to work on Wednesday), but it knocked $150 off the price. Flying into Fresno was barely an option -- tickets were minimum $650 (paid $370 for mine). And this way I get to spend quality time with a friend I haven't seen in years for the trips down and up from SF. Very much looking forward to that.
Going to chalk today up to just being flatout blah -- rough night of sleep, tiring day at work, rainy and grey outside once I was free, ordered in Chinese I probably shouldn't have but don't care about too much. Tomorrow is supposed to be nice so I'm going to make the long walk to Trader Joe's for early grocery shopping then putter about the house with some cleaning, run some local errands, call my family, and maybe go see a movie. Most of all, I'm not going to stress about boys (or girls, for that matter) who miss out by not talking to me. Who are we kidding -- of course I'm going to stress about that; I'm just also going to stay busy and not care about it after the stressing. The end.