(no subject)
I just had this imaginary conversation with my younger sister, whom I generally perceive to be more beautiful, intelligent, creative, and thoughtful than I am:
Me: You're everything I want to be, you're so much better than me.
Sister: But I'm not. And that doesn't mean I think I'm perfect. I had a kid a year ago, and parts of my body are wrecked and make me feel weird and self-conscious and frustrated and ugly.
Me: And yet I'd still give anything to look more like you than like me. I'd probably give a leg -- I would. I would give up a leg if it meant I could be thin and beautiful as naturally as you are.
And then I laughed aloud. Because what the hell kind of thought is that. It took me so far out of myself to a place I needed to get to in order to see how ridiculous feeling bad about my body is. Yes, there are a lot of changes I can make to be healthier that will impact my self-perception in positive ways as well as give me more energy and confidence, but giving a leg? I just can't. Buck up, Erica, you are you, be you giantess or be you ant. So stop all that and just be for a while. Your motto in life can and will no longer be my perfectly healthy leg for a socially acceptable body.
Me: You're everything I want to be, you're so much better than me.
Sister: But I'm not. And that doesn't mean I think I'm perfect. I had a kid a year ago, and parts of my body are wrecked and make me feel weird and self-conscious and frustrated and ugly.
Me: And yet I'd still give anything to look more like you than like me. I'd probably give a leg -- I would. I would give up a leg if it meant I could be thin and beautiful as naturally as you are.
And then I laughed aloud. Because what the hell kind of thought is that. It took me so far out of myself to a place I needed to get to in order to see how ridiculous feeling bad about my body is. Yes, there are a lot of changes I can make to be healthier that will impact my self-perception in positive ways as well as give me more energy and confidence, but giving a leg? I just can't. Buck up, Erica, you are you, be you giantess or be you ant. So stop all that and just be for a while. Your motto in life can and will no longer be my perfectly healthy leg for a socially acceptable body.