(no subject)
i went to the storage today. very sad. i found the ox in which i put ALL of my pikks in. so many memories. i LOVED california. even when there wasnt much to do. it was home. here i feel all out of place. as if this isnt where im suppose to be in this time in my life. im suppose to be waking up, getting on the phone with nicole and deciding where and when to meet so we could go get breakfast. i think not once in a weekend or that summer did i have breakfast at home. just put my haor in a bun and leave. not caring what i looked like because i was going out with the closest person in this world to me. i miss those days. if it was up to me i would stay like that forever.
it was a really lonely christmas this year. my mom is debating wether to just give up on my brother. hes not even connected to us. hes a starnger livin with us.
this is to Nicole
My darling, i love you and i miss you dearly. out of anyone you were the one that stood by me through my silly dramatic breakdowns. EVERY single one. i love you for that. the day you moved away, i cried so much and it hurt so much. i still havent gotten over it. not one bit. you were and still are my best friend.
Im sorry about the whole thing that is happenin with you and Justin. but everytime i talk to you, it seems you love him more and more. Things got tough but you always looked on the bright side. of everything. i hope things work out and you get whatever makes you happy because you deserve all the good in the world.
I miss you more than i miss anyone and i will never stop telling you that. That whole time we went without talking, i will admiti started forgetting about you. just a little bit. but i always thought about how different my life would be if you hadnt moved. if your mom had found job in Rohnert Park and we had ended up going to High School together as we planed the whole time we were friends. And maybe i wouldnt have moved. so i wouldnt be sitting here, i would be out with you. something always reminded me of you. ALWAYS. i couldnt pass by a TCBY without thinking of you. or go down Golf Course. since i moved i havent gone back. but i know i will soon. and the minute i get there i will find a way to get up to Rocklin. :(
Well My Super Woman. i love you and miss you.
im thinking of moving to Oregon when i graduate. My family is gonna move back to Colombia in 3 years and i will be old enough to decide, i really dont wanna move, not anymore. start over when i have a bigger accent when i speak spanish then when i speak English. ;) i dont know. i know i dont want to live here my whole life. i dont like it. not my scene. we'll see.
ill post pikks that i found later.