An open letter to women who use the toilets at Paddington Station
I don't post openly pretty much ever, on account of my journal being friend locked, but I feel compelled to today. This is an open letter to women who use the toilets at Paddington Station.
Dear ladies,
I do understand that the arrangements at the toilets at Paddington Station (and indeed many mainline London train stations, bar St Pancras, which is always packed) is annoying. We shouldn't really have to pay in order to undertake a necessary bodily function in a manner which won't get us arrested, but alas we do. I could suggest that an army of annoyed women intentionally block the penny hole of the barriers every day, as happened with the barriers at Reading Station, and eventually led to their removal, but I believe that would be something like incitement to criminal damage, and as illegal as pissing on the concourse of the train station.
However, I do have some points I would like to make to my fellow womenfolk when it comes to using these facilities. I have numbered them, they are as follows
1. There are a number of signs in the concourse which explain that you have to pay. It should not be a surprise when you get there to find that you do indeed, have to pay. The sign also says how much it is, which allows you to look for the money before you enter. I manage it, why can't you?
2. So you've missed the signs and you get down there and find you have to pay.... can I point out that there are two turnstiles that let you in to the toilets, you don't all have to queue behind the one on the left, which is moving slowly because the person at the front didn't realise they had to pay and has no change
3. There is a change machine next to the turnstiles. Use it
4. But when you do use it, don't queue across the entrance and exit corridor, it just causes problems
5. Yes there are two turnstiles that let you in to the toilets, you don't have to all queue behind the one on the left
6. It's 30p. The signs all say it's 30p, they also all say that the slots take 10p or 20p, this means that you need EITHER one 10p and one 20p, OR three 10ps.
7. Lets take the p out so it's just numbers. You want to make the number 30 and you only have 10 and 20 to do it. That's either 10 +20 or 10 + 10 + 10. This is not hard. You learned this in primary school.
8. Ok, so you're not British and are not used to our coins. a) we have a decimal system and b) there's a handy picture of the coins that you can use
9. There are two FUCKING TURNSTILES INTO THE TOILET YOU DON'T ALL HAVE TO QUEUE BEHIND THE ONE ON THE LEFT AND YES I BLOODY WELL WILL PUSH PAST YOU ALL AND GO THROUGH THE ONE ON THE RIGHT IF THE REST OF YOU IGNORANT FUCKERS WON'T USE IT!
10. The display on the turnstile tells you how much credit there is and how many more pennies you need to insert. Heed this information.
11. When you finally reach the wonder of the other side of the turnstile there are two sets of cubicles, you can use all of them.
12. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL YOU JUST FUCKING NOTICE THAT THERE ARE TWO TURNSTILES THAT LET YOU IN TO THE SODDING TOILET AND USE BOTH OF THEM!
13. The way out is different to the way in. It has a handy sign on it saying 'way out'. This stops you causing even more confusion at the TWO DAMN IT, TWO turnstiles that let people in to the toilets.
14. It's free to use the toilets on the train.
15. Learn to read.
Thanks
Kathryn
Dear ladies,
I do understand that the arrangements at the toilets at Paddington Station (and indeed many mainline London train stations, bar St Pancras, which is always packed) is annoying. We shouldn't really have to pay in order to undertake a necessary bodily function in a manner which won't get us arrested, but alas we do. I could suggest that an army of annoyed women intentionally block the penny hole of the barriers every day, as happened with the barriers at Reading Station, and eventually led to their removal, but I believe that would be something like incitement to criminal damage, and as illegal as pissing on the concourse of the train station.
However, I do have some points I would like to make to my fellow womenfolk when it comes to using these facilities. I have numbered them, they are as follows
1. There are a number of signs in the concourse which explain that you have to pay. It should not be a surprise when you get there to find that you do indeed, have to pay. The sign also says how much it is, which allows you to look for the money before you enter. I manage it, why can't you?
2. So you've missed the signs and you get down there and find you have to pay.... can I point out that there are two turnstiles that let you in to the toilets, you don't all have to queue behind the one on the left, which is moving slowly because the person at the front didn't realise they had to pay and has no change
3. There is a change machine next to the turnstiles. Use it
4. But when you do use it, don't queue across the entrance and exit corridor, it just causes problems
5. Yes there are two turnstiles that let you in to the toilets, you don't have to all queue behind the one on the left
6. It's 30p. The signs all say it's 30p, they also all say that the slots take 10p or 20p, this means that you need EITHER one 10p and one 20p, OR three 10ps.
7. Lets take the p out so it's just numbers. You want to make the number 30 and you only have 10 and 20 to do it. That's either 10 +20 or 10 + 10 + 10. This is not hard. You learned this in primary school.
8. Ok, so you're not British and are not used to our coins. a) we have a decimal system and b) there's a handy picture of the coins that you can use
9. There are two FUCKING TURNSTILES INTO THE TOILET YOU DON'T ALL HAVE TO QUEUE BEHIND THE ONE ON THE LEFT AND YES I BLOODY WELL WILL PUSH PAST YOU ALL AND GO THROUGH THE ONE ON THE RIGHT IF THE REST OF YOU IGNORANT FUCKERS WON'T USE IT!
10. The display on the turnstile tells you how much credit there is and how many more pennies you need to insert. Heed this information.
11. When you finally reach the wonder of the other side of the turnstile there are two sets of cubicles, you can use all of them.
12. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL YOU JUST FUCKING NOTICE THAT THERE ARE TWO TURNSTILES THAT LET YOU IN TO THE SODDING TOILET AND USE BOTH OF THEM!
13. The way out is different to the way in. It has a handy sign on it saying 'way out'. This stops you causing even more confusion at the TWO DAMN IT, TWO turnstiles that let people in to the toilets.
14. It's free to use the toilets on the train.
15. Learn to read.
Thanks
Kathryn