(no subject)
I'm trying so hard to stay relatively positive...but I can't eat, can't sleep and I just feel yucky. I'm really trying to not sink into depression but it's hard when you are biologically predisposed to it and then someone you love diesI'm giving myself a few days to truly grieve and then I have to somehow surround myself with something positive. I'm going to get up and go to church tomorrow...that's a start. I'm dreading the social aspect of all of this. I just want to be alone to grieve in my own way...I don't want to have to work so hard to hold back a breakdown in front of everyone. I know it will be hard because even though I am very upset now, the reality of it has not completely set in. I'm really scared of how I will react when it finally does. Anyway, I'm in my own house, alone tonight...maybe I'll actually get some rest.