eh?
Today I packed and cleaned out a bit, not near as much as I should have. Easily distracted.............................. huh? oh. um. where was I? oh i like this Relient K song Softer To Me, its really the only song of thiers i can stand. Sorry RK. but hey, i love this one, comes in handy.
moving is always such a BIG thing. overwhelming. i never know what to do. ha. put it in a box right? easy. easy.
Se. and I chatted quite a bit this afternoon. I really like the spot we're at now, i think we've finally grown into a FRIENDSHIP. it sure was a rough ride...but now we're open and honest comfortable playful encouraging its a warm solid place. Platonic. if we're not FULLY platonic YET, we're about to cross into it which is good. a relief. no i think we are fully platonic now, we've both had someone after ourselves (shortlived though they were) and oddly enough, he was hurt when i went with R. even though we weren't together anymore adn i (surpised myself) flipped out and was hurt when he was with that girl despite everything.( although we did borderline flirt a tiny bit today, its more like brotherly/sisterly play.) and to think like a week ago i told him to never EVER EVER speak to me again and i was so angry i wanted to punch him.( for the record it was totally unrelated to the girl)[actually i wanted to like stab him in the shoulder but i didn't tell him all THAT HA] and I really didn't want to ever speak with him again. odd. but, i don't think he quite believed me. I really thought he'd be as immature as i was and just say fine be that way and that would be it. but he said, "you dont want me to speak to you ever again? thats a bit rash isnt it i dont think we ought to leave things like that". but i still wanted to leave things, just not like THAT. so we talked about it a little bit and I was like i still want to leave things, but i didn't want to leave with that hot anger and he thought i was just testing him to see if he was still emotionally attached, but i really wasnt. but anyway. a soft answer does turn away wrath so ANYWAY. somehow, over the hurdles we're at a good place. not so intertwined that we're hurting each other, not so far apart its awkward and lonely, just right. ha. i've been joking about moving next door to Se. and Snn. in MI. my MI brothers and Shane said it might be a good idea to move there because i've got friends there (meaning him and his big bro (OUR big bro. haha) he said it would be easier to keep me outta trouble HAHA. HA. SO YEAH. we must be fully platonic now if me being next door is gonna keep me outta trouble. what am i talking about? who sings this song? ooooh Underoath. hmm. the other day. like first entry, i mentioned a song, Emotion, the band is subseven. sweet stuff.
well i don't know where all that came from If S. knew i wrote it he'd be like "Misha, you have to learn , not everything is public domain. " haha. yeah........ so HEY! don't read that part. tah. ^_^
i just need a place for reflection and venting. actually i need some FRIENDS in the proximity. haha *spaced out stare...*
anyway. oddly enough, today i decided to read some other journals, i read one entry from some guy? then by CHANCE the next one i read ended up being Rs! can you believe it? how crazy is that? and i wouldn't be so blown away, but like 4 days ago i joined a club on yahoo and after joining saw the moderator was Rb. i'm like what is up with THAT? its a SMALL world. *more blank stares....* and i was all set to never miss Rb again right, but he kept INSISTING that he WOULD write me when he went off this summer, and i was like whatever and didnt' believe him for the longest but he was so persistent in saying he would and finally said, I promise to write you this summer i thought, hey it would be nice to get a letter, He promised to write me the first week. so i ACTUALLY checked my mail, had to fight with the dagonned key thing grrrr. and no letter. and thats been weeks and weeks. Rbie, you shoulda left well enough alone, let me not have any hope and be content with nothing between us. But anyway! no hard feelings. and the things that happened between us to end "us" i see differently now, and when you get back, if you're still interested oh wait, i should just email him. ha. i'm a little off. i'll finish. interested in friendship (only) i'll be there.
SOMEHOW. i've got guys on the brain, now i want to talk about what happed with lil brother Eli (blah) and how i feel about Andy now.... ugh
i really just WANTED to talk about life changes and that now i'm growing my hair out. if life change then hair change. (you know, imagine that a little logic equation like on the cover of the Me Without You Album if A then B but i'm drawing a blank on the "punktuation" punctioation. oh. you know. -->tah. now i want to write Craig, he's so good with the logic. s p a c e d o u t. yo.
this is an Emery song. maybe i'll just clear the play list and play some straight Emery. bed time? i think i better go snuggle up with Bear.
moving is always such a BIG thing. overwhelming. i never know what to do. ha. put it in a box right? easy. easy.
Se. and I chatted quite a bit this afternoon. I really like the spot we're at now, i think we've finally grown into a FRIENDSHIP. it sure was a rough ride...but now we're open and honest comfortable playful encouraging its a warm solid place. Platonic. if we're not FULLY platonic YET, we're about to cross into it which is good. a relief. no i think we are fully platonic now, we've both had someone after ourselves (shortlived though they were) and oddly enough, he was hurt when i went with R. even though we weren't together anymore adn i (surpised myself) flipped out and was hurt when he was with that girl despite everything.( although we did borderline flirt a tiny bit today, its more like brotherly/sisterly play.) and to think like a week ago i told him to never EVER EVER speak to me again and i was so angry i wanted to punch him.( for the record it was totally unrelated to the girl)[actually i wanted to like stab him in the shoulder but i didn't tell him all THAT HA] and I really didn't want to ever speak with him again. odd. but, i don't think he quite believed me. I really thought he'd be as immature as i was and just say fine be that way and that would be it. but he said, "you dont want me to speak to you ever again? thats a bit rash isnt it i dont think we ought to leave things like that". but i still wanted to leave things, just not like THAT. so we talked about it a little bit and I was like i still want to leave things, but i didn't want to leave with that hot anger and he thought i was just testing him to see if he was still emotionally attached, but i really wasnt. but anyway. a soft answer does turn away wrath so ANYWAY. somehow, over the hurdles we're at a good place. not so intertwined that we're hurting each other, not so far apart its awkward and lonely, just right. ha. i've been joking about moving next door to Se. and Snn. in MI. my MI brothers and Shane said it might be a good idea to move there because i've got friends there (meaning him and his big bro (OUR big bro. haha) he said it would be easier to keep me outta trouble HAHA. HA. SO YEAH. we must be fully platonic now if me being next door is gonna keep me outta trouble. what am i talking about? who sings this song? ooooh Underoath. hmm. the other day. like first entry, i mentioned a song, Emotion, the band is subseven. sweet stuff.
well i don't know where all that came from If S. knew i wrote it he'd be like "Misha, you have to learn , not everything is public domain. " haha. yeah........ so HEY! don't read that part. tah. ^_^
i just need a place for reflection and venting. actually i need some FRIENDS in the proximity. haha *spaced out stare...*
anyway. oddly enough, today i decided to read some other journals, i read one entry from some guy? then by CHANCE the next one i read ended up being Rs! can you believe it? how crazy is that? and i wouldn't be so blown away, but like 4 days ago i joined a club on yahoo and after joining saw the moderator was Rb. i'm like what is up with THAT? its a SMALL world. *more blank stares....* and i was all set to never miss Rb again right, but he kept INSISTING that he WOULD write me when he went off this summer, and i was like whatever and didnt' believe him for the longest but he was so persistent in saying he would and finally said, I promise to write you this summer i thought, hey it would be nice to get a letter, He promised to write me the first week. so i ACTUALLY checked my mail, had to fight with the dagonned key thing grrrr. and no letter. and thats been weeks and weeks. Rbie, you shoulda left well enough alone, let me not have any hope and be content with nothing between us. But anyway! no hard feelings. and the things that happened between us to end "us" i see differently now, and when you get back, if you're still interested oh wait, i should just email him. ha. i'm a little off. i'll finish. interested in friendship (only) i'll be there.
SOMEHOW. i've got guys on the brain, now i want to talk about what happed with lil brother Eli (blah) and how i feel about Andy now.... ugh
i really just WANTED to talk about life changes and that now i'm growing my hair out. if life change then hair change. (you know, imagine that a little logic equation like on the cover of the Me Without You Album if A then B but i'm drawing a blank on the "punktuation" punctioation. oh. you know. -->tah. now i want to write Craig, he's so good with the logic. s p a c e d o u t. yo.
this is an Emery song. maybe i'll just clear the play list and play some straight Emery. bed time? i think i better go snuggle up with Bear.