Just A Little More To The...
So it turns out that there was huge massive mess of miscommunication that created the whole mess over the weekend, although Hol admitted that he was being a jerk about the entire thing. Mentioned something about "being chaos" or whatever. I'd like to say that this solves everything, but for as much of a completed picture that I have, especially with the new epiphany, there exist some questions now that deserve a response.
I was able to find out the above on Monday when I finally got to talk to Linn and Hol at lunch. Those pieces together, I had to wait until that evening to get a chance to talk with Michiru while House was on. She gave me her piece as well, and thus I finally had a better idea of what was going on. However, it was puzzling to see how things went before and after the one thing that I asked that night: for the first time in a while Michiru and I had the most fun doing things together, so much so that it was the same as when we first met and developed our friendship at the start of the semester. The one hiccup in the whole thing was something I never would've expected: I mentioned that we were doing a lot of things that I liked, and so I asked Michiru if we could do some things that she liked, such as watching CSI or NCIS. This was bluntly brushed off and the topic moved on that night, and while I didn't stop to inquire, I didn't forget it happened, either.
Tuesday night is when I brought this up with mother, and the epiphany finally came, especially after the advice given to me by the one student who was watching the DVD Insanitized by (Christian) Comedian Tim Hawkins. Put together that women are moody, and the fact that every time I asked to do something ahead of time it was shot down, and finally we reached a conclusion that I could logically piece together. For Michiru's impulsiveness, planning things ahead was the equivalent of possibly committing her to something (not true from my perspective, but oh well) and thus this commitment is something isn't up for. Therefore I just need to bring things up on the day that they're happening and in a way that says, "I'm going to go do something fun - want to join?"
I was given another curve ball by Linn - evidently the best way to go about my bit of "would you like to do something on Saturday?" comes across to both her and Michiru as "Here's something I want you to go to because I'm planning your life and controlling your moves, mwahahah!" What I was told to do is ask, "Is it okay to plan for this event on Saturday?"
As much as I've finally gotten the picture now, I'm at a loss to explain this rather inconsistent logic that even the president of the college said was most likely an excuse for something else. As far as I knew before this, plans were just plans and could be changed at any moment for any reason, be they good or bad. There's no real commitment to anything unless both agree to set the plan in stone ahead of time, or it's an event that requires commitment. If one doesn't do the former, then plans are just a fluid thing that can be changed and altered according to one's needs, mood, etc. etc. This is especially true when said plans are just meant to try to get the know the other person better. Unless one is a huge bully..........
I think I get Linn's take, and I have a feeling that there's something similar in Michiru's life, too, that may explain this. Normally plans are plans, and nobody is controlling the other - each person is free to say "yes" or "no". But then what happens when you throw in a person or event that affected this area of development? Someone they trusted, or something they never saw coming, and alas their means of properly saying "yes" or "no" was gone and their defenses shattered. What would they do in order to make up for what they lost so that they could attempt to feel whole again while covering for that hole? This weak spot in their life is something that they have yet to give up to God and will continue to suffer with until they do, and that's up to them to decide.
I don't know if I want to be right or wrong about this, but I do know that I want to at least know if I'm on to something and can finally move around a bit more freely than before. This means that between the small group tonight and everything else that I've thought over that my planning is not something to scrap or to keep hushed, but something others will have to get over their insecurities with if they really want to do things the right way. No matter what, I intend on respecting Michiru in accordance to the promise I gave to her father, and because I am a Christian first and foremost. However, if she chooses not to face whatever it is, then Mac may be as good an option as any to consider dating (it appears that, after talking Monday, there is enough similarity that I can work with to make it work), or even Benson if the circumstances align for a change. I'm open to whatever the Lord has planned and is looking to do in the future.
I was able to find out the above on Monday when I finally got to talk to Linn and Hol at lunch. Those pieces together, I had to wait until that evening to get a chance to talk with Michiru while House was on. She gave me her piece as well, and thus I finally had a better idea of what was going on. However, it was puzzling to see how things went before and after the one thing that I asked that night: for the first time in a while Michiru and I had the most fun doing things together, so much so that it was the same as when we first met and developed our friendship at the start of the semester. The one hiccup in the whole thing was something I never would've expected: I mentioned that we were doing a lot of things that I liked, and so I asked Michiru if we could do some things that she liked, such as watching CSI or NCIS. This was bluntly brushed off and the topic moved on that night, and while I didn't stop to inquire, I didn't forget it happened, either.
Tuesday night is when I brought this up with mother, and the epiphany finally came, especially after the advice given to me by the one student who was watching the DVD Insanitized by (Christian) Comedian Tim Hawkins. Put together that women are moody, and the fact that every time I asked to do something ahead of time it was shot down, and finally we reached a conclusion that I could logically piece together. For Michiru's impulsiveness, planning things ahead was the equivalent of possibly committing her to something (not true from my perspective, but oh well) and thus this commitment is something isn't up for. Therefore I just need to bring things up on the day that they're happening and in a way that says, "I'm going to go do something fun - want to join?"
I was given another curve ball by Linn - evidently the best way to go about my bit of "would you like to do something on Saturday?" comes across to both her and Michiru as "Here's something I want you to go to because I'm planning your life and controlling your moves, mwahahah!" What I was told to do is ask, "Is it okay to plan for this event on Saturday?"
As much as I've finally gotten the picture now, I'm at a loss to explain this rather inconsistent logic that even the president of the college said was most likely an excuse for something else. As far as I knew before this, plans were just plans and could be changed at any moment for any reason, be they good or bad. There's no real commitment to anything unless both agree to set the plan in stone ahead of time, or it's an event that requires commitment. If one doesn't do the former, then plans are just a fluid thing that can be changed and altered according to one's needs, mood, etc. etc. This is especially true when said plans are just meant to try to get the know the other person better. Unless one is a huge bully..........
I think I get Linn's take, and I have a feeling that there's something similar in Michiru's life, too, that may explain this. Normally plans are plans, and nobody is controlling the other - each person is free to say "yes" or "no". But then what happens when you throw in a person or event that affected this area of development? Someone they trusted, or something they never saw coming, and alas their means of properly saying "yes" or "no" was gone and their defenses shattered. What would they do in order to make up for what they lost so that they could attempt to feel whole again while covering for that hole? This weak spot in their life is something that they have yet to give up to God and will continue to suffer with until they do, and that's up to them to decide.
I don't know if I want to be right or wrong about this, but I do know that I want to at least know if I'm on to something and can finally move around a bit more freely than before. This means that between the small group tonight and everything else that I've thought over that my planning is not something to scrap or to keep hushed, but something others will have to get over their insecurities with if they really want to do things the right way. No matter what, I intend on respecting Michiru in accordance to the promise I gave to her father, and because I am a Christian first and foremost. However, if she chooses not to face whatever it is, then Mac may be as good an option as any to consider dating (it appears that, after talking Monday, there is enough similarity that I can work with to make it work), or even Benson if the circumstances align for a change. I'm open to whatever the Lord has planned and is looking to do in the future.