(no subject)
i feel like i'm drowning.
but worse.
you know when you're inthe ocean and your swimming, minding your business, being a good ocean go-er, not peeing it in and not swimming out far enough to disrupt any ecosystems? that moment when the tide sucks you under and for a moment, your stuck under the water, you can't breathe, you can't see, and for a moment, you are thrashing under the water trying to do something. the moment before you drown... that's where i was f ew months ago. thrashing about to save some glimpse of sanity to feelokay but that's not happening.
and just like that person who got stuck under and thrashed about loses consciousness and stops thrashing, stops fighting the water in their lungs, stops trying to keep from letting the tide pull you deeper, i've stop trying. i just don't care anymore. i just don't feel like trying anymore. it's pointless and has gotten me pretty much no where. i have to get help but no one wants to help me.
i've never felt more alone. never.
and i hate it, and i'm tired of feeling like this.
i'm dragging myself through each day and wearing so thin. i can't take this.
but worse.
you know when you're inthe ocean and your swimming, minding your business, being a good ocean go-er, not peeing it in and not swimming out far enough to disrupt any ecosystems? that moment when the tide sucks you under and for a moment, your stuck under the water, you can't breathe, you can't see, and for a moment, you are thrashing under the water trying to do something. the moment before you drown... that's where i was f ew months ago. thrashing about to save some glimpse of sanity to feelokay but that's not happening.
and just like that person who got stuck under and thrashed about loses consciousness and stops thrashing, stops fighting the water in their lungs, stops trying to keep from letting the tide pull you deeper, i've stop trying. i just don't care anymore. i just don't feel like trying anymore. it's pointless and has gotten me pretty much no where. i have to get help but no one wants to help me.
i've never felt more alone. never.
and i hate it, and i'm tired of feeling like this.
i'm dragging myself through each day and wearing so thin. i can't take this.