Be My Steel Samurai
Name: Be My Steel Samurai
Rating: PG (Quite nicey nicey, minor sexual innuendoes)
Pairing: NOT Maya/Edgeworth
Kink Meme Prompt: "There seems to be quite a few Edgeworth/Maya fics lately, but I for one just don't see the both of them together, at all. So, Maya likes Edgey, but Edgeworth does not feel the same way, maybe he's not comfortable with the age gap between them, or Maya just isn't his type, whatever. Maya gets rejected, and spends all week eating a dozen burgers a day and burning up stuff at the office, or something."
Romance and relationships, Maya Fey decided as she threw her "Dirty Dancing" DVD onto a small pyre, were never like in the movies.
Phoenix walked into his office to find a fire in the waste paper basket. He instinctively grabbed for the fire extinguisher and put it out immediately.
"NIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!!" Maya screamed.
"What the hell happened here, Maya?!" he barked, waving away the smoke.
"I'm holding an important ceremony!!!" she squealed, gathering more things to burn.
"Maya, are you using my paperwork as kindling?" he asked nervously, trying to pull some of it away from her.
"Go away, Nick! I'm busy!"
He stared at her as she rushed around the room, gathering various objects and stacks of papers.
"Okay, now I really need to ask," he sighed as he saw a familiar flash of white cloth fall into the basket, "What happened and what's going on?"
She picked the cloth back up and stroked it across her face.
"It's... hard for me to say..." she sighed.
It had happened earlier that day.
After weeks of frustration, Maya finally gathered the courage to announce her feelings to one Miles Edgeworth.
"Will you be the Steel Samurai to my Pink Princess?!" she blurted, missing the serene composure she'd planned to possess in this scene.
"Miss Fey, who let you in my office?" he sighed, sitting eruditely at his desk.
"That came out a bit wrong..." she squeaked, approaching him, "Edgeworth, do you know how I feel about you?"
"Miss Fey, if this is going where I think it's going," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose anxiously, "I think it'd be best if you left now. Before you hurt yourself."
"Miles, we have a really special connection! We could watch Steel Samurai together! It'd be perfect if you'd just be my boyfriend!"
Miles let out an exasperated sigh.
"I'm sorry but no. Maybe we could still watch Steel Samurai but, I'm afraid, definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, no."
"So... that's what happened then?" Phoenix sighed, once she'd told the story, "I'll get you a soda."
She sat on the couch, still fiddling with the silky cravat she'd stolen while leaving Edgeworth's office.
"Here y'go," he smiled, handing her a can.
"Thanks, Nick..." she sighed, clinging to it through the cravat.
"No problem, Maya. And I wouldn't feel too bad about Edgeworth. He's... well, I think he's just preoccupied. You know what he's like!"
"Yeah, I suppose..."
"You gonna be okay?"
"I suppose so..." she sighed dramatically, "Oh Nick, I wish there were hot guys as nice as you..."
"Um, thanks, Maya," he laughed, "Well, I'll be back in a bit... Just got an errand to run."
He came back about an hour later, looking tired and a bit ruffled.
"What the heck happened, Nick?" Maya asked through a mouthful of cheeseburger.
"I had a little... chat with Edgeworth," he shrugged.
Maya stared at Phoenix in awe for a moment.
"You fought for my honour?" she squealed.
"Fought... fought... yeah, I fought him!" he laughed nervously, "He won't be able to walk for days!"
"Oh Nick!" she giggled, putting down her stack of Samurai Burgers and giving him a hug.
"Still, forget about him. I think he might be gay anyway."
"Why'd you think that?" she gasped.
He thought for a moment, noticed his flies were undone then shrugged and sat down.
"Well... if he's gay, then I guess I should give up on him..." she sighed, "Say, Nick... Will you be the Steel Samurai to my Pink Princess?"
"Maya, shut up and eat your burgers."