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in the shower this morning i was thinking about an old friend, qbaz, who is currently experiencing some pretty serious medical issues. i am hoping to be able to visit him in the hospital sometime in the next week when I'm in NYC, but that means having to reach out to someone i haven't talked to in a while....
qbaz is one of many friends that i haven't kept ( Read more... )
qbaz is one of many friends that i haven't kept ( Read more... )
• don't let the guilt at not being in touch keep you out of touch--people will be happy to hear from you, no matter how long it's been and the gap will not be the first thing in their minds when you contact them
• don't worry about catching up--a short email saying "hey, I've been thinking of you and wanted to say hi" is fine, you don't have to explain what you've been doing for the past five years
• make time for other people--maybe set yourself a reminder once a week or once a month or whatever you think will work for you to spend time with someone not in your regular rotation, or just call someone to chat that you haven't spoken with in a while
• make a list--keep a list or just go through your address list/book (vary where you start) and use that to remind yourself who you might like to see or write or call
• send out holiday cards--doesn't have to be Christmas or even at the end of the year, maybe do it around your birthday, or the first day of non-school in a year--that once-a-year connection can help to maintain tenuous connections
Hope some of this helps, or at least sparks your own ideas about how to do this more. I find that maintaining a community of people is really important to me and can help make both good and bad times better.
And on a personal note, I would love to see you sometime, or just have a good long phone conversation. In fact, maybe I'll call you sometime soon :)
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