Not that this will surprise anyone, but: Yay! I'm a heathen!
"You know what's wrong with kids today? They like that polyphonic music stuff! When I was a young'un, we had a shofar and a gong and we LIKED it like that!"
Crosswalk's Todd Pruitt thinks all y'all need Jesus, not rock'n'roll. He says it's closer to paganism! than to God.
Because if there's one thing the Bible neglects to mention, it's making a joyful noise unto the Lord.
And no one in the Bible ever decided to sing a new song. Nope.
Nope, no record of anyone composing any music for God, like, anywhere, ever.
The Israelites only whined, never did they clamor joyously over their deliverance from the Egyptians. Not even Aaron's wife said a word about it, and her fellow women were too busy bellyaching about manna and quails to say anything, either.
(And later, they never sang to a gold baby cow.)
Work songs? Not a thing, not in the Bible, anyway.
Prophets were all gloom and doom and no singing. Ever.
David's triumph over Goliath? Eh. No one cared. Certainly not enough to, you know, make up a catchy little ditty about it.
Oh, and David was known only for his sheep-herding skills and his ability to throw a rock with a sling. There wasn't, like, an ENTIRE FUCKING BOOK OF THE BIBLE ATTRIBUTED TO HIM OR ANYTHING. \
Also, no one ever sang songs so that the unsaved might understand and then get right with God. You know, ministry. That totally never happened, guys.
The Ark of the Covenant? No one knew when it was moved, 'cause there wasn't, like, a parade or anything. I think it maybe got, like, one line in the whole book.
Crosswalk's Todd Pruitt thinks all y'all need Jesus, not rock'n'roll. He says it's closer to paganism! than to God.
Because if there's one thing the Bible neglects to mention, it's making a joyful noise unto the Lord.
And no one in the Bible ever decided to sing a new song. Nope.
Nope, no record of anyone composing any music for God, like, anywhere, ever.
The Israelites only whined, never did they clamor joyously over their deliverance from the Egyptians. Not even Aaron's wife said a word about it, and her fellow women were too busy bellyaching about manna and quails to say anything, either.
(And later, they never sang to a gold baby cow.)
Work songs? Not a thing, not in the Bible, anyway.
Prophets were all gloom and doom and no singing. Ever.
David's triumph over Goliath? Eh. No one cared. Certainly not enough to, you know, make up a catchy little ditty about it.
Oh, and David was known only for his sheep-herding skills and his ability to throw a rock with a sling. There wasn't, like, an ENTIRE FUCKING BOOK OF THE BIBLE ATTRIBUTED TO HIM OR ANYTHING. \
Also, no one ever sang songs so that the unsaved might understand and then get right with God. You know, ministry. That totally never happened, guys.
The Ark of the Covenant? No one knew when it was moved, 'cause there wasn't, like, a parade or anything. I think it maybe got, like, one line in the whole book.