Dear Body...
Look, you seriously need to get some new hobbies. I have a really nice one all picked out for you, too: NORMALCY. I know, I know, all the "cool kids" are into it, which makes it so very mainstream and lame and stuff, but give it a try! I'm sure you'll like it.
I know that waiting approximately 28 days between 5-7 day periods sounds boring, but it really isn't! I promise, it's lots of fun! And doctors like it when you do that.
Come on, aren't you tired of leaking blood for an utterly random number of days at unpredictable intervals? I certainly am.
Another thing I'm tired of is my current what-passes-for-my-period. I've never liked them anyway, you know. Messy, smelly, containing potential for putting me into yet ANOTHER awkward/embarrassing situation... What is there to like? Anyway, what I'm trying to say here is KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF. I'm DONE, you should be too. Seriously, how long has it been? I know it was a few days before I went to the doctor, and that was all the way back on the 23rd of May.
Now that I've had my say there, let's talk about my lower back. What the fuck is up with that? I have enough trouble with that whole sleeping thing as it is, and now this? You couldn't have mentioned that I was Doing Bad Things to it when it was happening? Thanks for that, I love you too.
About that sleeping thing: Do you remember the last time we slept through the night? Yeah, me either. I don't really mind taking naps, 'cause naps are awesome, but there's times in my future when I'm not going to be able to do that.
If you could miraculously learn to like exercise, that'd be nice, too, but I'm not gonna hold my breath.
In short, NO MOAR BLEEDZ NAO KTHX; NO MOAR HURTINGZ NAO KTHX. That's really my biggest requests right now.
Love, sorta,
Me