Common Courtesy
I find this phrase really interesting. Common Courtesy. According to www.m-w.com (you knew that was coming), the following definitions are applicable to this phrase:
Common: just satisfying accustomed criteria (as in common decency)
Courtesy: consideration, cooperation, and generosity in providing something (as a gift or privilege)
This is what I find interesting - we put these two together to talk about a sort of nebulous set of social standards having to do with being polite to one another. And yet the two appear to be completely at odds. In this instance, we are saying that common is something that we should just do - we're just satisfying the minimum criteria set by society as acceptable. But with courtesy, we appear to be saying that we are being generous, we are giving consideration, we are providing a gift or privilege.
It doesn't make sense. And that makes my argument make sense (interesting how that worked out - completely unintentional I assure you. I'm not that good).
See, what inspired this entry is a frustration I have had with this idea of common courtesy. Because it's really not common at all. Everyone has different standards of what they think is acceptable - some say 'Bless you' at a sneeze and some ignore it. Some wait for their friends and family to reach the door, the car, etc. before driving off and some don't.
Basically I was just going to rant about how annoying I think the whole situation is but when I look at the actual definitions of the words I'm using, the confusion makes perfect sense.
It is difficult, when you see something as minimally acceptable, as just-plain-polite and someone else just doesn't. It is easy to see them as rude or at the very least inconsiderate - and they don't understand that at all. Because to them, they have done nothing wrong.
Relationships are difficult for many reasons - and I think this is one of them. So often a clash of personalities really boils down to a conflict in expectations. I expect that you will, at the very least, behave in such-and-such manner. You don't have that same expectation for yourself, and I am left disappointed and frustrated. And you have absolutely no clue you've done anything wrong.
I'm not sure I know what to do about that. What is the answer? How, then, should we interact with one another? How do we determine what our expectations are, and when it is acceptable for those expectations NOT to be met?
Hell if I know.
Common: just satisfying accustomed criteria (as in common decency)
Courtesy: consideration, cooperation, and generosity in providing something (as a gift or privilege)
This is what I find interesting - we put these two together to talk about a sort of nebulous set of social standards having to do with being polite to one another. And yet the two appear to be completely at odds. In this instance, we are saying that common is something that we should just do - we're just satisfying the minimum criteria set by society as acceptable. But with courtesy, we appear to be saying that we are being generous, we are giving consideration, we are providing a gift or privilege.
It doesn't make sense. And that makes my argument make sense (interesting how that worked out - completely unintentional I assure you. I'm not that good).
See, what inspired this entry is a frustration I have had with this idea of common courtesy. Because it's really not common at all. Everyone has different standards of what they think is acceptable - some say 'Bless you' at a sneeze and some ignore it. Some wait for their friends and family to reach the door, the car, etc. before driving off and some don't.
Basically I was just going to rant about how annoying I think the whole situation is but when I look at the actual definitions of the words I'm using, the confusion makes perfect sense.
It is difficult, when you see something as minimally acceptable, as just-plain-polite and someone else just doesn't. It is easy to see them as rude or at the very least inconsiderate - and they don't understand that at all. Because to them, they have done nothing wrong.
Relationships are difficult for many reasons - and I think this is one of them. So often a clash of personalities really boils down to a conflict in expectations. I expect that you will, at the very least, behave in such-and-such manner. You don't have that same expectation for yourself, and I am left disappointed and frustrated. And you have absolutely no clue you've done anything wrong.
I'm not sure I know what to do about that. What is the answer? How, then, should we interact with one another? How do we determine what our expectations are, and when it is acceptable for those expectations NOT to be met?
Hell if I know.