i left his arms empty and tied, outstretched for me until he died
My body can go straight to hell.
After studying for like ... 80 hours I decided it was time to get in my nightly jog. Got my jogging pants, running shoes and sports bra on only to be slapped across the face with nausea inducing pain in my stomach. This happens every so often ... Like a million little knives stabbing me repeatedly all over my tummy. I don't know what it is ... it's not quite a cramp, it hurts a sight more than that. I don't know why it happens or what makes it go away but it usually lasts 30 minutes or so. So I'm hoping that by the time I'm done with this entry the pain will have receded enough for me to focus on my Philosphy book rather than clutching my stomach in abject horror every other minute.
*sigh* There goes my jogging for the night ... It wouldn't be so bad but I've be so bogged down with homework and reading and studying that I haven't ran for the past three days. And when that happens I start to feel all fat and worthless so I was super happy that I managed to find time to get my run in and then this. >.> And like ... it would be one thing if it just happened while I was studying or whatever but NO - it waited until the absolute last second before I was getting ready to go to strike. Dastardly, villanous body.
Things between Shaun and I have been really good lately in no small part, I think, to my recent bout of livejournal nostalgia. Reading how amazing and affectionate he used to be. Gosh, looking back ... I was such a little shit. Nothing he could do was ever enough, nothing he said ever made me secure, I made him jump through a ridiculous amount of hoops ... and all he ever did in return was love me, tell me he would never leave me, ignore everything and everyone else and agonize over not being able to make me happy. I seriously don't understand how he managed to not go crazy or walk away from it all. Hindsight is 20/20, I guess and, looking back, I think I owe him a lot of appreciation for things I didn't realize at the time he did.
We also kicked ass at arena tonight. Played 15 matches, lost only two. Poor Uth; it's his arena team (U MAD U MAD LOL) and Shaun and I are the only ones using it. :-X But that was pretty awesome. It made me feel like maybe I won't be so terribly fail at this which, sadly, is important to me. PvP is mah baby ...
FUCK .. ME. I just coughed and almost blacked out from the pain. Dude ... body ... WTF? Okay, I'm gonna go curl up into the fetal position now.
his beautiful arm is bloody and cut off
his heart ripped out to show me he loved me
but i would not believe him, he did all that he could
i still would not believe him
After studying for like ... 80 hours I decided it was time to get in my nightly jog. Got my jogging pants, running shoes and sports bra on only to be slapped across the face with nausea inducing pain in my stomach. This happens every so often ... Like a million little knives stabbing me repeatedly all over my tummy. I don't know what it is ... it's not quite a cramp, it hurts a sight more than that. I don't know why it happens or what makes it go away but it usually lasts 30 minutes or so. So I'm hoping that by the time I'm done with this entry the pain will have receded enough for me to focus on my Philosphy book rather than clutching my stomach in abject horror every other minute.
*sigh* There goes my jogging for the night ... It wouldn't be so bad but I've be so bogged down with homework and reading and studying that I haven't ran for the past three days. And when that happens I start to feel all fat and worthless so I was super happy that I managed to find time to get my run in and then this. >.> And like ... it would be one thing if it just happened while I was studying or whatever but NO - it waited until the absolute last second before I was getting ready to go to strike. Dastardly, villanous body.
Things between Shaun and I have been really good lately in no small part, I think, to my recent bout of livejournal nostalgia. Reading how amazing and affectionate he used to be. Gosh, looking back ... I was such a little shit. Nothing he could do was ever enough, nothing he said ever made me secure, I made him jump through a ridiculous amount of hoops ... and all he ever did in return was love me, tell me he would never leave me, ignore everything and everyone else and agonize over not being able to make me happy. I seriously don't understand how he managed to not go crazy or walk away from it all. Hindsight is 20/20, I guess and, looking back, I think I owe him a lot of appreciation for things I didn't realize at the time he did.
We also kicked ass at arena tonight. Played 15 matches, lost only two. Poor Uth; it's his arena team (U MAD U MAD LOL) and Shaun and I are the only ones using it. :-X But that was pretty awesome. It made me feel like maybe I won't be so terribly fail at this which, sadly, is important to me. PvP is mah baby ...
FUCK .. ME. I just coughed and almost blacked out from the pain. Dude ... body ... WTF? Okay, I'm gonna go curl up into the fetal position now.
his beautiful arm is bloody and cut off
his heart ripped out to show me he loved me
but i would not believe him, he did all that he could
i still would not believe him