(no subject)
well. A bunch of shit has happened in the past couple weeks. The major one being that Jason and I are no longer together. He revealed himself to be an inconsiderate asshole on the saturday before halloween, and it only got worse. I got to hear of a new girl out of nowhere on monday, after he gets back from kelowna or kamloops or something... after we had just had a big talk about shit that was going on with us and had decided that staying together was the best idea. The coward. Liar. I should have just used him for rebound sex like i had originally planned, and not fallen for him. He isnt good for anything more than that. And he was the one who originally wanted more than just casual sex! I was the one reluctant to start dating, and then after my feelings get more serious he not only does not give any hints about how he felt or what he wanted, decides to continue going out with me until i confront him and ask him whats going on (because he had jsut been an asshole around halloween - talking was needed)... THEN i get to hear that hes freaked out about me really liking him, THEN i get to hear that he's hurt a LOT of girls before, he actually used the excuse that he was afraid that he might hurt me... which is bull shit since he could have just been honest in the first place and sacrificed his dick not being sucked for a couple months.
but no after i pour out everything while he sits there like an emotionless fuck... he stiiiilll claims that he doesnt want me out of his life. Unfortunately my heart overrided my brain and i agreed. Even managed to half-convince myself that this was the best plan for now. Play him with his own game - make him come to me etc. So he goes to the interior and i make plans with friends. The more i thought over the conversation we'd had, the more stuff didnt make sense. I began thinking "maybe I'm being used". So he gets back and messages me that he need to come over and talk. Instantly I knew. I didnt care why, I could have just closed the window and never spoken to him again, but i decided that we should at least talk a littel so i told him i had plans (which i did) so he can just phone.
Now this was unexpected. I thought i knew why we were ending... but he says he wants to explain... that he's "met someone else". That when I went WHATTT. where in the FUCK did that come from? oh apparently hes known her for a while and just started liking her in the past couple weeks and he tried not to like her... again bullshit. Id never heard of this chick before EVER and they'd hung out a few times... so he purposefully didnt tell me... yeah i can see he tried REAL hard not to like her *rolls eyes*. Funny how he wasnt prepared to leave me until he knew he was still going to get laid. Worthless shit stain that he is. And he admitted to having done shit like this to many other girls!!! I mean, not only does he hurt people, but he KNOWS that he does, and doesn't seem capable of caring or feeling guilty. People like this make me sick.
So yeah I'm single. I had about a week in between matt and jason, so it's been about a year and a half. Its weird, kinda lonely, but better than being used i suppose. Once i get over this stuff I'll feel better, it just takes time because i cared, and apparently had way too much faith in his good side. oi.
but no after i pour out everything while he sits there like an emotionless fuck... he stiiiilll claims that he doesnt want me out of his life. Unfortunately my heart overrided my brain and i agreed. Even managed to half-convince myself that this was the best plan for now. Play him with his own game - make him come to me etc. So he goes to the interior and i make plans with friends. The more i thought over the conversation we'd had, the more stuff didnt make sense. I began thinking "maybe I'm being used". So he gets back and messages me that he need to come over and talk. Instantly I knew. I didnt care why, I could have just closed the window and never spoken to him again, but i decided that we should at least talk a littel so i told him i had plans (which i did) so he can just phone.
Now this was unexpected. I thought i knew why we were ending... but he says he wants to explain... that he's "met someone else". That when I went WHATTT. where in the FUCK did that come from? oh apparently hes known her for a while and just started liking her in the past couple weeks and he tried not to like her... again bullshit. Id never heard of this chick before EVER and they'd hung out a few times... so he purposefully didnt tell me... yeah i can see he tried REAL hard not to like her *rolls eyes*. Funny how he wasnt prepared to leave me until he knew he was still going to get laid. Worthless shit stain that he is. And he admitted to having done shit like this to many other girls!!! I mean, not only does he hurt people, but he KNOWS that he does, and doesn't seem capable of caring or feeling guilty. People like this make me sick.
So yeah I'm single. I had about a week in between matt and jason, so it's been about a year and a half. Its weird, kinda lonely, but better than being used i suppose. Once i get over this stuff I'll feel better, it just takes time because i cared, and apparently had way too much faith in his good side. oi.