Shoe drama
The Lynxcub had a big meltdown in a shoe store today, variously screaming "NO NO NO NO!" and that he hated shoes and hated trying things on (he only had to try on exactly one pair, so it's not like I had him doing it for hours), screaming that he would only try on size 4 and no other size (he takes size 4T in clothing, but size 8 in shoes - but he refused to accept this) and trying to punch and kick the saleswoman, knock the shoebox out of her hand, etc.
But she took it really well, and was actually able to work with him and distract him a bit. The shoes we wanted were not in stock in his size, but she put in a request to have a pair sent over from their other branch, and when he wanted to keep the box that the too-big shoes he tried on came in, she went and got him an empty box to play with from the storeroom.
While she was doing that, I pointed out to him (after he'd settled down a bit) what she was doing for us, and that she was doing those things despite the store being very busy. "That's very nice of her, isn't it?" I asked. He nodded agreement, so I said "And she's doing that even though you were kind of mean to her, with the kicking and everything." He nodded again, and then got this sort of big-eyed, worried look like he was starting to realize he might have done a Bad Thing.
He looked up at me anxiously, and I said "Are you feeling sorry that you did those things?"
"Yeah," he said sadly.
"Do you think maybe if you tell her that, it might help her feel better?"
"Yeah!" he said excitedly, immediately brightening up.
I didn't say any of this in an accusatory way, BTW - just in a fairly neutral, conversational tone (although I was considerably more firm with him at the time of the kicking/hitting, and physically restrained him as well). I don't like the way a lot of parents demand kids apologize - thereby making it empty words. But I thought maybe this was a good opportunity to help him understand why sometimes apologizing is a good thing to do.
Anyway, it took a while for her to get back to us, because the store was, as I said, very busy, so I thought he'd likely have forgotten the whole conversation by the time she did return. But no - almost immediately, he reached up and tugged on her sleeve, and then said solemnly "I'm really sorry I was mean to you before!" She seemed really touched, gave him a big smile, and said thank you.
So, even though shoes were not (yet) acquired, I think perhaps we got something out of the trip anyway... (And a certain salesperson at Get Outside should probably be nominated for sainthood.)
But she took it really well, and was actually able to work with him and distract him a bit. The shoes we wanted were not in stock in his size, but she put in a request to have a pair sent over from their other branch, and when he wanted to keep the box that the too-big shoes he tried on came in, she went and got him an empty box to play with from the storeroom.
While she was doing that, I pointed out to him (after he'd settled down a bit) what she was doing for us, and that she was doing those things despite the store being very busy. "That's very nice of her, isn't it?" I asked. He nodded agreement, so I said "And she's doing that even though you were kind of mean to her, with the kicking and everything." He nodded again, and then got this sort of big-eyed, worried look like he was starting to realize he might have done a Bad Thing.
He looked up at me anxiously, and I said "Are you feeling sorry that you did those things?"
"Yeah," he said sadly.
"Do you think maybe if you tell her that, it might help her feel better?"
"Yeah!" he said excitedly, immediately brightening up.
I didn't say any of this in an accusatory way, BTW - just in a fairly neutral, conversational tone (although I was considerably more firm with him at the time of the kicking/hitting, and physically restrained him as well). I don't like the way a lot of parents demand kids apologize - thereby making it empty words. But I thought maybe this was a good opportunity to help him understand why sometimes apologizing is a good thing to do.
Anyway, it took a while for her to get back to us, because the store was, as I said, very busy, so I thought he'd likely have forgotten the whole conversation by the time she did return. But no - almost immediately, he reached up and tugged on her sleeve, and then said solemnly "I'm really sorry I was mean to you before!" She seemed really touched, gave him a big smile, and said thank you.
So, even though shoes were not (yet) acquired, I think perhaps we got something out of the trip anyway... (And a certain salesperson at Get Outside should probably be nominated for sainthood.)