I can't change who I am, not this time, I won't lie to keep you near me.
This must be it.
Welcome to the new year.
The drinks were consumed,
the plants were destroyed,
and the hors d'oeuvres dismantled.
I'm not smiling
behind this fake veneer.
I am often interrupted
or completely ignored,
but most of all I'm bored.
I'm trying to find out
if my words have any meaning.
Lackluster and full of contempt
when it always ends the same.
It's times like these I really wonder why I ever stopped listening to them. Their lead singer is actually TALENTED. Imagine that.
So, overview of trip:
not bad. Pretty good, actually. It was nice to be back. But I was sad to find the kids I grew up with are grown up and empty shells. The best day was seeing Eli. After that it was pretty much pointless. I couldn't write all break, but then second period today, something in me snapped, and the words came pouring out. I hope I can enter it in the prose contest, but I think for that you actually you have to have a plot, and not a description of insanity. Besides, I don't want everyone to know what I'm like, or what I really think. If I have to go through high school pretending to be the silent girl in the corner, so be it. I'm not afraid of silence.
And so in that vein, my New Year's Resolutions run.
1. Get better at keeping people out. This may sound strange to you, but I can't afford to let too many people here in. I don't trust easily but if I'm not careful, I could give these kids weapons with which they can destroy me. Maybe I sound mad to you, but these people terrify me. And maybe they aren't all out to get me, but I mess up really easily. All it takes is five minutes, and I'm a goner. And I can't be too open. I don't know. I guess you have to be me to understand.
2. Learn how to survive without CTY. This is my last year. I can't go away with CTY best friends and then come back knowing I'll never see them again.
More later.
I'm jet lagged as shit here.
Welcome to the new year.
The drinks were consumed,
the plants were destroyed,
and the hors d'oeuvres dismantled.
I'm not smiling
behind this fake veneer.
I am often interrupted
or completely ignored,
but most of all I'm bored.
I'm trying to find out
if my words have any meaning.
Lackluster and full of contempt
when it always ends the same.
It's times like these I really wonder why I ever stopped listening to them. Their lead singer is actually TALENTED. Imagine that.
So, overview of trip:
not bad. Pretty good, actually. It was nice to be back. But I was sad to find the kids I grew up with are grown up and empty shells. The best day was seeing Eli. After that it was pretty much pointless. I couldn't write all break, but then second period today, something in me snapped, and the words came pouring out. I hope I can enter it in the prose contest, but I think for that you actually you have to have a plot, and not a description of insanity. Besides, I don't want everyone to know what I'm like, or what I really think. If I have to go through high school pretending to be the silent girl in the corner, so be it. I'm not afraid of silence.
And so in that vein, my New Year's Resolutions run.
1. Get better at keeping people out. This may sound strange to you, but I can't afford to let too many people here in. I don't trust easily but if I'm not careful, I could give these kids weapons with which they can destroy me. Maybe I sound mad to you, but these people terrify me. And maybe they aren't all out to get me, but I mess up really easily. All it takes is five minutes, and I'm a goner. And I can't be too open. I don't know. I guess you have to be me to understand.
2. Learn how to survive without CTY. This is my last year. I can't go away with CTY best friends and then come back knowing I'll never see them again.
More later.
I'm jet lagged as shit here.