A new orientation
Title sounds weird but I'll keep it. Been assigned to Fiona and so far, it's been good to me other than it's slightly far from where I want to be for the bus. I'd rather not take Tripshot but I think this may be the route I need to go so I don't get home at almost 8 every night. I probably can catch it at Fiona and see if they'll just drop me off at the bus stop. Otherwise I can just get dropped off at Atlas.
Getting situated at the desk has been a process but we'll get there. Miranda is nice and I think we'll mesh well. We're both chill people. She seems a bit more particular than I am but her systems and way she likes things is good for me. Slowly but surely we're retrofitting our desks to our likings and doing away with any remnants of training or William. I brought us some plants and it's starting to feel like home!
In a moment of weakness and curiosity for the addition of a second account in his guild, I reached out to him, chatted a little. Asked about how his guild was going and being solo and he didn't say there was another person. It's definitely not the same account. I can only assume it's a second person, especially since he never mentioned collecting things like mounts which this account has a lot of. But who knows, maybe a second account? None of my business but it definitely helped me break the bond a little more. Either way, he reached out for horny baiting last night and it was blatantly obvious it's what he messaged for. In the meantime, I said a lot of things which I had wanted to say and express, not quite to the extend I would have wanted since he wasn't being receptive BUT I was able to send them and say them and know that they were at least seen which was good enough for me. Definitely won't be the last time I'll hear from him.
Part of me hopes he overcomes what he needs and that we could actually be a thing because I definitely feel like we'd be compatible but part of me would always be doubtful if he ever actually had changed. Or how genuine he would truly be. Leaps and bounds and mountains and consistency would be required for sure. Effort and lots of it.
Delusional of me? Yep. But he's kind of also delusional right now thinking I'm about to just be agreeable and submissive with no real incentive. I get nothing out of it that I would want. If I were a different kind of person, perhaps. Or if he made the effort to come to me for it in person. There's no way I'd drive out there to do those things. Favors and cooking? If I were someone of true importance to him, of course. But I'm not that person to him. Will I ever be? No idea. Could I ever be? Anything is in the realm of possibilities. Likelihood? Unlikely. Breaking the bond is a process and it'll happen eventually.
Was doing well with keeping up on things over the weekend but have super slacked this week. I'll blame my period and just being really tired but the motivation to cook is so small. I get home, don't want to do it. I got a Dinnerly box so there's everything portioned out for me but I don't want to actually cook any of it. Pre-made I think is better? Not sure. Definitely need to not eat out and just eat at home. Bringing tofu bites, tomatoes, almonds, and dried fruit with bananas sometimes just isn't cutting it for lunch. But also not having immediate refrigeration is also annoying. Having something in my backpack for an hour and then having to go to a kitchenette if I'm doing ET to store it and then going to my own building and then going to a kitchenette to store it is... arduous. I need to do it, though. Need to food prep and bring my own lunches. I just have to do it.
I convert soon, I'll have to figure out this whole benefits thing and how that works and if I just get them or have to enroll. Time has been flying. I think first thing I'll do though is a trip to the dentist for a teeth cleaning and inspection. Doctor , gyno, and counseling is next.
The weather is now starting to feel like summer and all the people out and about on campus is really nice to see. Feels alive. Leaves on the trees, sun is shining. I love it.
Ready for the future as it comes.