not pregnant...
it's midnight, i'm in the house, but i'm not asleep. i haven't been asleep since i tossed and turned this morning.
so, i never got around to talking about the whole my sister being pregnant thing last week. mike and i slaughtered a bottle of SoCo and stayed out all night goofing off. the next day, i took a mental health day from work.
yesterday, she and her (ex, i'm assuming) boyfriend went and terminated the pregnancy. from everything i've overheard from her on the phone with her friends, she only did it because my mother wouldn't have taken care of the baby (and, by extension, her) indefinitely. considering that she's unemployed, not in school, and seems to have changed her mind about going to the air force, it was her best choice. had J (the boyfriend) or his parents (since i'm not sure who funded it, aside from knowing that QB didn't) not had the money, i don't know what would have happened.
the whole thing makes me extremely uneasy. not really the abortion, but her attitude towards the whole thing. you'd think that an unplanned pregnancy when you have no plans for your life would get you to wake up and take notice of what is and isn't going right with the choices you've made, but she strikes me as the type that'd continue to use abortion as a form of birth control.
after miscarrying at 19, i've got a whole new outlook on parenting, safe sex, all that...but nothing i say will convince my sister to (demand that a guy) use condoms or get my best friend to see that having babies is not a one-way ticket to a happy marriage and being a stay-at-home-mom. MIKE already knows that at this point, barring serious medical conditions on either my part or the part of my child, i wouldn't terminate, and he's cool with that. his take on it is "i didn't have a problem when i was in you, so i shouldn't have one with the choice you make." his daughter, TJ, is an example of that. MIKE and TJ's mother, TAMMY were nothing more than fuck-buddies in college, but he didn't shirk his responsibility when she got pregnant. i don't think he should get an award or anything; he just did what he was supposed to do.
QB is all gasps and surprise when i talk about my future with MIKE and the VERY likely possibility (if we stay together) that we'll have at least one kid. i told her, "i'm not saying that we're trying to conceive, but if we plan on being together for the long haul, why is having kids such an insane idea?"
people laugh at me when i say i want "one perfect child", but i figure, with an aunt, and three uncles on my side, plus and aunt and uncle on MIKE's side, AND TJ, do i really need any more of my own? i've always wanted to have kids before i was 27 (QB was 28 when she had me), but at the time, i never considered step kids, cousins and all that. now that i have, i don't really see myself doing a 'body sacrifice' more than once, unless WE decide that we need more little brown kids...
but tonight, i'm just kinda sad. my sister is so flip about the whole thing; like she had her teeth cleaned or something, and she's even LESS motivated to get out and do something with herself. she's using the procedure as an excuse for not cleaning up after herself (if you can walk to the kitchen to get donuts, you can throw the box away) and now that the military is making her wait until she's had THREE PERIODS before she goes to boot camp, she seems to have changed her mind about that, too. i heard her telling QB that she wants to go to school now. WHAT A JOKE! she never made any preparations for doing anything other than going to the military and she hasn't even bothered to work since june. i don't like staying here in the midst of this drama; it's making me relive some drama of my own.
yes, i made this entry public. it'll stay that way for a little while...
so, i never got around to talking about the whole my sister being pregnant thing last week. mike and i slaughtered a bottle of SoCo and stayed out all night goofing off. the next day, i took a mental health day from work.
yesterday, she and her (ex, i'm assuming) boyfriend went and terminated the pregnancy. from everything i've overheard from her on the phone with her friends, she only did it because my mother wouldn't have taken care of the baby (and, by extension, her) indefinitely. considering that she's unemployed, not in school, and seems to have changed her mind about going to the air force, it was her best choice. had J (the boyfriend) or his parents (since i'm not sure who funded it, aside from knowing that QB didn't) not had the money, i don't know what would have happened.
the whole thing makes me extremely uneasy. not really the abortion, but her attitude towards the whole thing. you'd think that an unplanned pregnancy when you have no plans for your life would get you to wake up and take notice of what is and isn't going right with the choices you've made, but she strikes me as the type that'd continue to use abortion as a form of birth control.
after miscarrying at 19, i've got a whole new outlook on parenting, safe sex, all that...but nothing i say will convince my sister to (demand that a guy) use condoms or get my best friend to see that having babies is not a one-way ticket to a happy marriage and being a stay-at-home-mom. MIKE already knows that at this point, barring serious medical conditions on either my part or the part of my child, i wouldn't terminate, and he's cool with that. his take on it is "i didn't have a problem when i was in you, so i shouldn't have one with the choice you make." his daughter, TJ, is an example of that. MIKE and TJ's mother, TAMMY were nothing more than fuck-buddies in college, but he didn't shirk his responsibility when she got pregnant. i don't think he should get an award or anything; he just did what he was supposed to do.
QB is all gasps and surprise when i talk about my future with MIKE and the VERY likely possibility (if we stay together) that we'll have at least one kid. i told her, "i'm not saying that we're trying to conceive, but if we plan on being together for the long haul, why is having kids such an insane idea?"
people laugh at me when i say i want "one perfect child", but i figure, with an aunt, and three uncles on my side, plus and aunt and uncle on MIKE's side, AND TJ, do i really need any more of my own? i've always wanted to have kids before i was 27 (QB was 28 when she had me), but at the time, i never considered step kids, cousins and all that. now that i have, i don't really see myself doing a 'body sacrifice' more than once, unless WE decide that we need more little brown kids...
but tonight, i'm just kinda sad. my sister is so flip about the whole thing; like she had her teeth cleaned or something, and she's even LESS motivated to get out and do something with herself. she's using the procedure as an excuse for not cleaning up after herself (if you can walk to the kitchen to get donuts, you can throw the box away) and now that the military is making her wait until she's had THREE PERIODS before she goes to boot camp, she seems to have changed her mind about that, too. i heard her telling QB that she wants to go to school now. WHAT A JOKE! she never made any preparations for doing anything other than going to the military and she hasn't even bothered to work since june. i don't like staying here in the midst of this drama; it's making me relive some drama of my own.
yes, i made this entry public. it'll stay that way for a little while...