at the very least.

[misskoh]

when you said you wouldn't let any tear drop when i'm with you, i guess they were just words without meaning.
i don't know if i should be feeling angry and/or sad, but i can't help it and i don't want to either
i've tried really hard to appease your moody spells, but i guess i failed pretty badly
and i did try really hard to persevere in my efforts to put a smile back onto your gloomy face
i guess all didn't work much
or, maybe all i did wasn't enough yet i gave up. i'm tired.
i don't even see why you are feeling so upset in the first place, if it all boils down to me touching your shoulders and spoiling your good luck, i'm really sorry cos i didn't know and haven't heard of such superstitions. maybe it's my fault that you lost so much, but i didn't want it to turn out that way either. i'm really annoyed at the way you handled the whole situation. maybe you were feeling tired and cranky too.
i guess you didn't give a hoot about how i was feeling or any thing of that sort.
i'm really tired of trying.
i'm glad that you've got a bestie to turn to in times like such, i wish i could call nat as well but she was probably sleeping.
i hope you act like you still care at the very least.
well, but i love you the same dear. and i'm really sorry cos i didn't mean it. if only you could understand that.
good night.

and it's so funny how we could hiccup over such a small trivial matter (or at least it is to me).