Welp.
My brain. It's not a perfect specimen. It's not trying to kill me, but it is being a bit of a bastard.
The doctor's office called me today, and much like that scene in 50/50 just laid out some crazy ass medical term along with the word "significant" without any fucking preamble. Apparently he thought we had discussed it before THOUGH WE NEVER DID. So he just dropped some crazy ass medical term in my lap and nattered on while I was silently like, "I'M GOING TO DIE." After I cut him off, and was like, "WAIT, WHAT? REPEAT THAT?" he realized this was all brand new info.
The term was chiari malformation. And I immediately tried to google it. The doctor even heard my keyboard going and asked, "Are you googling it?" To which I promptly said, "Yes, and can you spell it, please?"
Then my doctor talked about how I needed to see a neurosurgeon. So right then and there I was back to thinking I was dying. He also gave my favorite of his sweeping declarations, "It's not that exciting." I think he means it like, "Calm down, this is a long term thing we're looking at, you're not in danger. No big."
And okay, but THAT'S WHAT HE SAID ABOUT THE MRI, THE JERK. NOW I'M SEEING A NEUROSURGEON.
He explained what a chiari malformation was: a part of my brain is poking down past my brain case/skull/whatever and into my spine. Yes, that's right. My brain is, in fact, too big for its britches. It's what's been causing my vision trouble, probably contributing to my headaches, and may account for some other things I might have like sleep apnea. Then he blithely announced that the neurosurgeon would determine whether or not surgery was necessary. And with epic amounts of "no big deal" swagger said that said surgery would be to remove a piece of my skull in order to relieve the pressure.
NOT AT ALL EXCITING, RIGHT?
Ugh, anyway. He was glad to hear that I've not had any headaches matching the magnitude of what sent me to him in the first place. I've had some wonky vision days, but no more double vision, no migraine visualizations, no nausea. So I guess my brain was just really, really fat the day of the double vision? Or my spine was pissed about sharing? IDK. Apparently I could have gone my whole life without having it diagnosed.
The good news is the condition isn't fatal, and is not necessarily progressive. Biggest problem are side effect of the pressure on the spine (ie- cysts forming on the spinal cord, or uhhhh paralysis sometimes). Since my symptoms are not too pronounced, I don't think they're going to recommend surgery. And I certainly hope that they don't because a) I want all my skull b) who is going to pay for a NEUROSURGERY. Because I'll tell you, it's not me.
Even without surgery it could probably affect my pocket book quite a bit. Google tells me a lot of people just deal with it with pain meds and/or diuretics. So there's a possibility of paying for a prescription, and also regular monitoring is part of the package.
BUT as far as I've seen (online) there's no prescriptive behaviors to help. I didn't see anything about avoiding red wine, caffeine or cheese or all the other things in life that make it worth living. I'll talk with the doctors before picking up all my wonderful bad habits again, but my fingers are crossed.
So yeah. My exciting neurological health.
The doctor's office called me today, and much like that scene in 50/50 just laid out some crazy ass medical term along with the word "significant" without any fucking preamble. Apparently he thought we had discussed it before THOUGH WE NEVER DID. So he just dropped some crazy ass medical term in my lap and nattered on while I was silently like, "I'M GOING TO DIE." After I cut him off, and was like, "WAIT, WHAT? REPEAT THAT?" he realized this was all brand new info.
The term was chiari malformation. And I immediately tried to google it. The doctor even heard my keyboard going and asked, "Are you googling it?" To which I promptly said, "Yes, and can you spell it, please?"
Then my doctor talked about how I needed to see a neurosurgeon. So right then and there I was back to thinking I was dying. He also gave my favorite of his sweeping declarations, "It's not that exciting." I think he means it like, "Calm down, this is a long term thing we're looking at, you're not in danger. No big."
And okay, but THAT'S WHAT HE SAID ABOUT THE MRI, THE JERK. NOW I'M SEEING A NEUROSURGEON.
He explained what a chiari malformation was: a part of my brain is poking down past my brain case/skull/whatever and into my spine. Yes, that's right. My brain is, in fact, too big for its britches. It's what's been causing my vision trouble, probably contributing to my headaches, and may account for some other things I might have like sleep apnea. Then he blithely announced that the neurosurgeon would determine whether or not surgery was necessary. And with epic amounts of "no big deal" swagger said that said surgery would be to remove a piece of my skull in order to relieve the pressure.
NOT AT ALL EXCITING, RIGHT?
Ugh, anyway. He was glad to hear that I've not had any headaches matching the magnitude of what sent me to him in the first place. I've had some wonky vision days, but no more double vision, no migraine visualizations, no nausea. So I guess my brain was just really, really fat the day of the double vision? Or my spine was pissed about sharing? IDK. Apparently I could have gone my whole life without having it diagnosed.
The good news is the condition isn't fatal, and is not necessarily progressive. Biggest problem are side effect of the pressure on the spine (ie- cysts forming on the spinal cord, or uhhhh paralysis sometimes). Since my symptoms are not too pronounced, I don't think they're going to recommend surgery. And I certainly hope that they don't because a) I want all my skull b) who is going to pay for a NEUROSURGERY. Because I'll tell you, it's not me.
Even without surgery it could probably affect my pocket book quite a bit. Google tells me a lot of people just deal with it with pain meds and/or diuretics. So there's a possibility of paying for a prescription, and also regular monitoring is part of the package.
BUT as far as I've seen (online) there's no prescriptive behaviors to help. I didn't see anything about avoiding red wine, caffeine or cheese or all the other things in life that make it worth living. I'll talk with the doctors before picking up all my wonderful bad habits again, but my fingers are crossed.
So yeah. My exciting neurological health.