Adulthood, my old rival, we meet again.
Yesterday, despite being a total loser at work, I got shit DONE. Seriously. A brief list of what I did yesterday:
1. Went for a 35 minute walk.
2. Made mini-pizzas with Kate for dinner.
3. Went to Target to purchase cat food and a vacuum filter.
4. Vacuumed my living room (twice.)
5. Did the dishes and wiped the counters.
6. Put away laundry.
7. Bleached my shower curtain (which turned out to be a bad idea, but idk it was getting gross and now it's cleaner).
8. Got gas.
9. Cleaned out the litter box and took down the trash.
BAM. Check out that masterful list of adult-type things. (Confession, most of these I did with lots of co-dependent encouragement from jennerose.) Didn't I deserve/need/want to sit down and write some fic? I most certainly did. Too bad this happened:
10. Went to bed at about 10:15pm.
After that flurry of activity I guess it was pretty silly of me to expect I could keep going. I WANTED to write. I HAVE SO MANY THINGS THAT I WANT TO WRITE. It's killing me. I think about them all the time.
But instead I crashed out so hard. My god. I went down at 10:30, slept until my alarm at 6:35 and still hit snooze twice. (Note: I think this is the first time that I have come to work on a full eight hours of sleep in months, though. It's amazing how that changes your attitude about being at work. It's a lot less "OMG HATE!" and a lot more, "I can handle this.") Clearly I needed the sleep.
Anyway, can I sit down and write tonight, my friends? Nope. I'm getting dinner with the Boy after work, followed by lots of necessary affection. Thursday skating and possibly a new ritual dubbed by myself as "Frawkly." So I may not be able to write until Friday. THIS UPSETS ME.
My awful inability to manage time is now PREVENTING me from having fun. It's the WORST. Before not managing my time well meant not doing homework and reading instead, because whatevs, homework. Who cares? I'll do it quickly six hours before it's due. Skip class, I don't get paid to go. (Nevermind the fact that I had to pay to go the class and was not getting my money's worth if I didn't go). Didn't do laundry? Psh. Who cares, I'll wear pajama pants to the library/cafeteria/class.
But none of that applies anymore. If I don't do dishes I get bugs and smells and have no clean dishes. If I don't see the Boy I don't get to keep referring to him with a capital letter. If I don't skate I don't get to get better at it. There are all these things I both want AND need to do, meaning that the things I want but DON'T need to do have to fall by the wayside. I haven't finished reading a book since God knows when (I actually know when and it's embarrassing to admit). The last fic I updated was more than a month ago. If I had cable TV I would never turn it on.
I mean, of course even though not getting to do a lot of fannish is not a big deal, it still sucks. But it's more than that. Last Sunday for example I was skating from 11:45 to 1:30, showering and getting ready from 2 - 3, from 3 - 5 I visited my mom, from 5 - 5:30 driving in traffic from south Austin back up to north Austin. AND THEN, from 5:30 - 6 picking up the Boy to see a movie (The Town! SO. GOOD.) from 8:30 - 11:15 picking up dinner with the boy, then making and eating it, doing dishes and chatting. Nearly twelve hours of solid activity on a day that's supposed to be lazy. No bubble baths, no idle walks, no naps.
NOT THAT I'M REALLY COMPLAINING. All of the things I did instead of napping were really nice things to do. Things I'm glad that I was able to do. I just need more time to do even MORE things that aren't work. I need fandom to BECOME my work. Or else learn to manage my time better so that when I have a free hour I don't spend 45 minutes of it watching videos of lions on YouTube.
1. Went for a 35 minute walk.
2. Made mini-pizzas with Kate for dinner.
3. Went to Target to purchase cat food and a vacuum filter.
4. Vacuumed my living room (twice.)
5. Did the dishes and wiped the counters.
6. Put away laundry.
7. Bleached my shower curtain (which turned out to be a bad idea, but idk it was getting gross and now it's cleaner).
8. Got gas.
9. Cleaned out the litter box and took down the trash.
BAM. Check out that masterful list of adult-type things. (Confession, most of these I did with lots of co-dependent encouragement from jennerose.) Didn't I deserve/need/want to sit down and write some fic? I most certainly did. Too bad this happened:
10. Went to bed at about 10:15pm.
After that flurry of activity I guess it was pretty silly of me to expect I could keep going. I WANTED to write. I HAVE SO MANY THINGS THAT I WANT TO WRITE. It's killing me. I think about them all the time.
But instead I crashed out so hard. My god. I went down at 10:30, slept until my alarm at 6:35 and still hit snooze twice. (Note: I think this is the first time that I have come to work on a full eight hours of sleep in months, though. It's amazing how that changes your attitude about being at work. It's a lot less "OMG HATE!" and a lot more, "I can handle this.") Clearly I needed the sleep.
Anyway, can I sit down and write tonight, my friends? Nope. I'm getting dinner with the Boy after work, followed by lots of necessary affection. Thursday skating and possibly a new ritual dubbed by myself as "Frawkly." So I may not be able to write until Friday. THIS UPSETS ME.
My awful inability to manage time is now PREVENTING me from having fun. It's the WORST. Before not managing my time well meant not doing homework and reading instead, because whatevs, homework. Who cares? I'll do it quickly six hours before it's due. Skip class, I don't get paid to go. (Nevermind the fact that I had to pay to go the class and was not getting my money's worth if I didn't go). Didn't do laundry? Psh. Who cares, I'll wear pajama pants to the library/cafeteria/class.
But none of that applies anymore. If I don't do dishes I get bugs and smells and have no clean dishes. If I don't see the Boy I don't get to keep referring to him with a capital letter. If I don't skate I don't get to get better at it. There are all these things I both want AND need to do, meaning that the things I want but DON'T need to do have to fall by the wayside. I haven't finished reading a book since God knows when (I actually know when and it's embarrassing to admit). The last fic I updated was more than a month ago. If I had cable TV I would never turn it on.
I mean, of course even though not getting to do a lot of fannish is not a big deal, it still sucks. But it's more than that. Last Sunday for example I was skating from 11:45 to 1:30, showering and getting ready from 2 - 3, from 3 - 5 I visited my mom, from 5 - 5:30 driving in traffic from south Austin back up to north Austin. AND THEN, from 5:30 - 6 picking up the Boy to see a movie (The Town! SO. GOOD.) from 8:30 - 11:15 picking up dinner with the boy, then making and eating it, doing dishes and chatting. Nearly twelve hours of solid activity on a day that's supposed to be lazy. No bubble baths, no idle walks, no naps.
NOT THAT I'M REALLY COMPLAINING. All of the things I did instead of napping were really nice things to do. Things I'm glad that I was able to do. I just need more time to do even MORE things that aren't work. I need fandom to BECOME my work. Or else learn to manage my time better so that when I have a free hour I don't spend 45 minutes of it watching videos of lions on YouTube.