If you and I both
I think I am somewhat adjusting to the new status quo. Somewhat. I mean, let's not get crazy here and say that I am entirely comfortable, but I am less... bewildered than I was before.
Fact:
I am not capable of loving my job right now. I feel angry and betrayed. I feel cut off from the powers that be. I feel like there's no point in trying because it's a downswing for the company. I can't deny that my main goal right now is to find out how little I can work. I'm surprised by the answer. (You guys, it's not much). Everyday I have to talk myself out of calling in, and everyday once I get here I cast about for something to distract me from the fact I'm here.
My job used to be annoying, sometimes stressful, but I was more or less satisfied. That's why I've only sent my resume out ONCE since I came here in September 2008. I haven't really started looking but I think it may be time.
Fact:
I'm having trouble with JB right now. I still look at the CUF posts and pictures, but it doesn't stir anything in me. I haven't watched the live chat. Actually I didn't even watch the entire LAST live chat (just the parts people said I should). I'm just not voracious about them. At all. I miss them, but I don't have the energy.
I'm still fond though. And there's room for improvement. (Sexy improvement. Boys. I need you to get on this).
Fact:
Yesterday the Miley Cyrus of Figure Skating (wildly popular, questionably talented) said that the Demi Lovato (wildly talented, questionably popular) of Figure Skating was a no-talent whiner. The Demi Lovato of Figure Skating then called the Miley Cyrus of Figure Skating a "slore" (combination slut and whore!) on syndicated television. Then Figure Skating!Demi Lovato went home, had a glass of wine, and called Figure Skating!Miley Cyrus an idiot on her twitter.
Subfact: Figure skating is amazing. I kind of wish that there was a RuPaul Drag Race-esque reality show about it because a lot of the gossip gets buried and white washed.
Fact:
I keep going on dates with this one guy. This is unusual and unexpected. We went out on Monday and his hair kept tossing in the wind and I found myself thinking that he was so freaking cute. And even after I found myself thinking that, and talked about how much I hate my job and love figure skating, he still called me yesterday. We're seeing each other Saturday and I keep waiting for the shoe to drop because I haven't thoroughly enjoyed a burgeoning relationship since. Uh. 2008. Sort of.
Fact:
I seem to be going through some sort of long term sleep cycle issue. It's been more than a month since I slept more than 6.5 hours more than once a week. Friday night usually, I sleep for about 9 hours, but after that I get only about 5.5 - 7 hours every night of the week. I'm not as tired as I was before but I think that's me getting used to the exhaustion.
I'm worried this has something to do with a manic phase. A mild manic phase. But a manic phase nonetheless. I want to eat, read, spend money, complain, be with people, and watch videos all of the time, and all at once. It's all very "I'll sleep when I'm DEAD" except that I also love sleep. I miss it. I wish we could go on a long honeymoon with each other.
Fact:
Since I'm not watching the musical episode of Fringe with anyone, and my friend canceled plans with me, you all should except a video/pic spam of Stephane Lambiel tonight. Idk, maybe some fic, too. Also about Stephane Lambiel.
Fact:
I am not capable of loving my job right now. I feel angry and betrayed. I feel cut off from the powers that be. I feel like there's no point in trying because it's a downswing for the company. I can't deny that my main goal right now is to find out how little I can work. I'm surprised by the answer. (You guys, it's not much). Everyday I have to talk myself out of calling in, and everyday once I get here I cast about for something to distract me from the fact I'm here.
My job used to be annoying, sometimes stressful, but I was more or less satisfied. That's why I've only sent my resume out ONCE since I came here in September 2008. I haven't really started looking but I think it may be time.
Fact:
I'm having trouble with JB right now. I still look at the CUF posts and pictures, but it doesn't stir anything in me. I haven't watched the live chat. Actually I didn't even watch the entire LAST live chat (just the parts people said I should). I'm just not voracious about them. At all. I miss them, but I don't have the energy.
I'm still fond though. And there's room for improvement. (Sexy improvement. Boys. I need you to get on this).
Fact:
Yesterday the Miley Cyrus of Figure Skating (wildly popular, questionably talented) said that the Demi Lovato (wildly talented, questionably popular) of Figure Skating was a no-talent whiner. The Demi Lovato of Figure Skating then called the Miley Cyrus of Figure Skating a "slore" (combination slut and whore!) on syndicated television. Then Figure Skating!Demi Lovato went home, had a glass of wine, and called Figure Skating!Miley Cyrus an idiot on her twitter.
Subfact: Figure skating is amazing. I kind of wish that there was a RuPaul Drag Race-esque reality show about it because a lot of the gossip gets buried and white washed.
Fact:
I keep going on dates with this one guy. This is unusual and unexpected. We went out on Monday and his hair kept tossing in the wind and I found myself thinking that he was so freaking cute. And even after I found myself thinking that, and talked about how much I hate my job and love figure skating, he still called me yesterday. We're seeing each other Saturday and I keep waiting for the shoe to drop because I haven't thoroughly enjoyed a burgeoning relationship since. Uh. 2008. Sort of.
Fact:
I seem to be going through some sort of long term sleep cycle issue. It's been more than a month since I slept more than 6.5 hours more than once a week. Friday night usually, I sleep for about 9 hours, but after that I get only about 5.5 - 7 hours every night of the week. I'm not as tired as I was before but I think that's me getting used to the exhaustion.
I'm worried this has something to do with a manic phase. A mild manic phase. But a manic phase nonetheless. I want to eat, read, spend money, complain, be with people, and watch videos all of the time, and all at once. It's all very "I'll sleep when I'm DEAD" except that I also love sleep. I miss it. I wish we could go on a long honeymoon with each other.
Fact:
Since I'm not watching the musical episode of Fringe with anyone, and my friend canceled plans with me, you all should except a video/pic spam of Stephane Lambiel tonight. Idk, maybe some fic, too. Also about Stephane Lambiel.