Ferreira Legacy 2.1
We start this update with Rafael trying to be a good daddy to Dylan. While Adolfo waits in line to do just the same thing.
Adolfo: Hurry up, I want to hold her too
Rafael: Last time I checked we had another kid,
Adolfo: -whines- But I like that one better.
The other kid in question is happy being left alone.
He's so adorable, I can't even...I think it's the long hair.
" What shall I do? My beauty is fading...fading."
"On a second thought wrinkles actually make me look more distintic and somewhat experienced. Maybe young girls would dig it...guess I'm a cougar now"
Mariana as a new job in the journalist career, but as everyone else she has to go from the bottom up.
Rafael:- growl-
Adolfo: Oh god...
Rafael: I was great, wasn't I?
Adolfo: Uh-oh, I think it's time.
Ugh... who knew being scared could be birth inducing?
"Oh lawd, no amount of eye bleach will erase that sight"
Twins! Meet Harper.
And Harley.
Adolfo: You have a new brother and sister to play with, doesn't that make you happy, squirt?
Ashley: -burps-
Íris: That hair colour is killer, honey, killer. You are now my favourite grandchild.
Adolfo: Don't listen to you grandmother, she's an heartless vampire. I on the other hand love you all equally.
Íris: Oh please....you love getting laid, and that's about it.
"Aren't you a cute little monkey? Yes you are...oh yes you are."
"All my kids are flawless, just like me"
...And the butler passed out, from exhaustion, I have no idea why, she has done nothing but eat and sit in front of the tv.
Time for Ash's birthday.
Íris is so excited she can barely handle herself, this is the best thing that happened to her since getting that washing machine.
She's just so damn skinny, now that I look closely.
Herp that derp, boy.
Ashley: The club can't even handle me right now.
Ashley: Am I the only one freaked out that this slice of cake is bigger than my head?
Mother-son bonding, is a rare sight these days, Rafael only wanted his mothers for reading bedtime stories anyways.
Adolfo: And the brave prince saved the village from the scary, very mean, not good at all dragon.
Ashley: That's nothing like the stories grandmother read father when he was my age.
Adolfo: Yes, and see what good they did him. This here is good stuff.
Ashley: If you say so...
Adolfo: I know so, short-stuff, G'night.
Ashley: -snores-
Adolfo: Be glad that was just some ball of fluff and not a tick, I'd hate to shave your hair off.
Rafael: Look, look, I'm a tyrannosaurus rex.
Butler: I worry about the well-being of these children sometimes.
Ashley: That's right little Harley, you know it will be saffer with me.
Ashley: Like stealing candy from a baby...oh wait.
If Rafael was here, he'd cry tears of pride.
Emo Ashley, goes alone to school, hopefully not for long.
But of course, he doesn't come home alone, unfortunately that's his cousin Octávio son of Lara and Riley and not some pre-teen love interest...unless, incest! There is actually no legislation against incest in Portugal...just thought I'd trow that one in...the more you know...
Ashley: I'm gonna show you how awesome I am at ballet.
Ashley: And that's how you do a plié like a boss.
Octávio: That's so cool, I'm totally quitting boyscouts and joining your ballet class.
Ashley: Is it normal that I like staring at naked men?
Rafael: You wouldn't be my son if you didn't.
Rafael: You might not want to share that information with your dad however. He might freak out thinking you are too precocious, and then all the burn would fall on me, he'd say I was rubbing on you kids, and he'd refuse to have se-
Ashley: Getting a bit carried away, aren't you father?
Dylan's birthday!
Uh-oh.
Ugh...you're doing it wrong.
Adolfo: Don't worry, I'm a firefighter
Butler: Everyone run for your lives.
There we go...
Isn't she full of rainbows and sunshine?
This picture exists for the sole reason that I think the little v's are cute.
"I'm on a spacecraft"
"It can't get any more awesome than this!"
Ashley: Wanna bet?
This is the face of pure, inadultered evil, again Rafael would weep tears of pride.
Ashley: And then we could light all the firealarms on fire, wouldn't it be ironic?
Adolfo: Son, I'm a firefighter you really shouldn't be having this conversation with me.
Adolfo: Dylan, honey, if your brother starts acting weird, or you know...just plain scary you come to me.
Dylan: That is assuming I live long enough to tell you right?
Dylan: Daddy likes me better, you know?
Ashley: Oh yeah? But I have father on my side, and he's evuuuul.
Ashley had a ballet recital, which he apparently attended on his pyjamas?
Rafael: Son, that was awesome, you kicked butt up there.
Dylan: Don't know what's so great about dancing in tights.
Rafael: We have such talented children. And better yet, good looking.
Adolfo: Are you saying looks are more important than talent.
Rafael: My good looks got me you! I'd say that was a good thing.
Adolfo: Oh...I don't know, from what I remember you have a lot of hidden talents.
Rafael: I'm a teacher now, you should tottally barge in my classroom wearing your uniform and yell: 'This is a fire drill'.
Adolfo: Oh...you have a dirty dirty mind.
Rafael: I't's not my fault you are such a bad firefighter and keep lighting my fire.
Ashley: Dad, look, look I'm a photographer.
Adolfo: That's great kid, what are you taking photos of?
Ashley: Burning buildings.
Time for the twins' birthday! Hopefully nothing will cath on fire this time.
Harley, is a sad sad panda.
Harper just derps the herp.
Mariana: And the lesbian vampires of Sodoma killed the pedophile priests and all was right in the world again.
Harley: Grandma, your stories are so full of win, I can't even...
Ashley: -murmurs- They shall pay for making me clean, my revenge will be slow and relentless.
Butler: That one is not right in the head.
Adolfo: Shh...he'll hear you.
Harley: Five euros says the lady on the bike will run that passer-by over.
Dylan: Oh...you're on.
"Hit the road Jack, and don't you come back no more, no more..."
" I guess if you say so, I'll have to step on my ferrari and go..."
Ashley's birthday! I'm sorry there are so many birthdays in this update.
How can the face of evil be so pretty? Dare I say even prettier than Rafael? I was tottally right about him having Adolfo's lips, btw.
Ashley: I'm just saying, the police can only run so fast, and they eat way too many donuts anyway.
Butler: That one must have been dropped on the head when I wasn't looking.
Íris: Someone make room for me, I don't wanna seat close to the future serial killer.
Btw, I have no idea how that lady vampire got in.
Impromptu, make out session, I swear Rafael must have the super secret, hidden trait crazy over uniforms.
Thankfully nothing jingled, I'm going to keep it to four for this generation.
Rafael came home from school, with a boy in tow, and this time it wasn't his cousin.
Ashley: Your hair colour relly compliments my hair colour.
Boy: Oh, I'm glad you like it, I would tottaly buzz it all of if you wanted me too...
Cockbloker- the sequal, part 2
"I'm out of here, good luck green-haired boy, it was fun while it lasted"