Amazing.
I'm alive. I'm well. I think that since I'm wide awake at 2:56am I'm going to sit here and write an update.
Life is, well, moving along. I swear things seem like they're up one day and down the next. Ash told me I've been really crabby lately. I don't mean to but I think the burdens of everyday life and being confused and not wanting to work and having to work and not having money - and basically everything that makes you want to stop using punctuation and have a big ol' run on sentence... all of that - it's getting to me.
My good friend alcohol and I are on a break for a while. I had a drunken breakdown about 2 weekends ago and I'm not a big fan of those, yet while I'm balling my eyes out I don't know what to do other than cry. That was a bad fucking night overall... Shit, the last two times I've been drunk have ended poorly. I want the ability to get a serious buzz going and be fine. Well, I was great on my birthday and that night was just me and some Bud Light - but I made a fucked up decision. Yes, I know you can't blame alcohol because supposedly your true feelings and whatnot come out when you're drunk, but I'm over all that. Alcohol makes you do stupid shit. Stupid shit you wouldn't normally do. It's liquid courage in a bottle and what certain oppourtunities present themselves to people who wouldn't normally do them -- well... I'm sure you can see how that shit ends up.
I need to get a second job. I need to be able to start school. I wanted to be in school already. I talked all that shit all year that I would have started already, and I haven't gotten anywhere. I want to be in school NO LATER than April/May of 2007. If I am not in school by then, I'm giving up and changing everything.. but for now, the way they're going - things can only get better from here.
I'm falling for a boy who I wouldn't normally fall for, and that's throwing me off too. I met Derek almost a year ago, and I got drunk (surprise, surprise) and tried to sleep with him the first night I met him. Now, if I was him I would look at that and say SLUT and probably NOT be friends with the person. However, we ended up here a year later and let me tell you - I'm glad I stayed friends with that boy. ::Shakes head:: He doesn't fit my mold. He's a nerd. LOL... That sounds so negative when I say it, but it's so true. My "type" if I even really and truly have one - is the tall, (skinny) yet buff, prep with the short spikey hair and the perfect complexion without glasses ... and Derek? Yes, he's preppy and has a nice body, but he's pale with freckles and has curly hair AND glasses... and I've seen the pix without the glasses and I've seen the pictures without the curls (which makes me wonder if it's because it was longer) AND.. he was blonde - and in those pictures I don't think he's attractive at all. I think he's pretty damn awesome the way he is. I just wish he was easier to understand. I got to see him this weekend, and that was definately a highlight for a while.
Time to take my extensions out pretty damn soon too - I want my hair to just grow already. I'm sick of it being short. I'm NOT cutting it for a LONG time either. Hell, I got these things put in because I hated it so damn much. That says something.
Floorsets seriously fuck up your sleep schedule. We worked from 9pm til about 7am on Saturday (into Sunday) then from 5pm til about 330ish-am on Sunday (Monday morning) and I slept until about 1:20ish today when Ash called. That means I've been up for almost 14 hours - and I'm still wide awake. I've been sitting here messing w/ my MySpace layouts and trying to figure out if I wanted it to be the one that I ended up with or what. I think if I'm still awake after this I'm putting in a new slideshow because the one I had up from my birthday was getting old.
November 1st we have a FREE bowling party to hit up at Woodhaven lanes, and that makes me excited. I'm only spending like $4 to bowl for 2 hours - and I get to have my buddies come with. Up to 10 people ! Wowza !! LoL
I like the new auto-save feature on here. It's been here for a while, but it's good to know that if my computer decided it wanted to be stupid for some reason my entry would still be here.
And with that, Goodnight kiddies !
Life is, well, moving along. I swear things seem like they're up one day and down the next. Ash told me I've been really crabby lately. I don't mean to but I think the burdens of everyday life and being confused and not wanting to work and having to work and not having money - and basically everything that makes you want to stop using punctuation and have a big ol' run on sentence... all of that - it's getting to me.
My good friend alcohol and I are on a break for a while. I had a drunken breakdown about 2 weekends ago and I'm not a big fan of those, yet while I'm balling my eyes out I don't know what to do other than cry. That was a bad fucking night overall... Shit, the last two times I've been drunk have ended poorly. I want the ability to get a serious buzz going and be fine. Well, I was great on my birthday and that night was just me and some Bud Light - but I made a fucked up decision. Yes, I know you can't blame alcohol because supposedly your true feelings and whatnot come out when you're drunk, but I'm over all that. Alcohol makes you do stupid shit. Stupid shit you wouldn't normally do. It's liquid courage in a bottle and what certain oppourtunities present themselves to people who wouldn't normally do them -- well... I'm sure you can see how that shit ends up.
I need to get a second job. I need to be able to start school. I wanted to be in school already. I talked all that shit all year that I would have started already, and I haven't gotten anywhere. I want to be in school NO LATER than April/May of 2007. If I am not in school by then, I'm giving up and changing everything.. but for now, the way they're going - things can only get better from here.
I'm falling for a boy who I wouldn't normally fall for, and that's throwing me off too. I met Derek almost a year ago, and I got drunk (surprise, surprise) and tried to sleep with him the first night I met him. Now, if I was him I would look at that and say SLUT and probably NOT be friends with the person. However, we ended up here a year later and let me tell you - I'm glad I stayed friends with that boy. ::Shakes head:: He doesn't fit my mold. He's a nerd. LOL... That sounds so negative when I say it, but it's so true. My "type" if I even really and truly have one - is the tall, (skinny) yet buff, prep with the short spikey hair and the perfect complexion without glasses ... and Derek? Yes, he's preppy and has a nice body, but he's pale with freckles and has curly hair AND glasses... and I've seen the pix without the glasses and I've seen the pictures without the curls (which makes me wonder if it's because it was longer) AND.. he was blonde - and in those pictures I don't think he's attractive at all. I think he's pretty damn awesome the way he is. I just wish he was easier to understand. I got to see him this weekend, and that was definately a highlight for a while.
Time to take my extensions out pretty damn soon too - I want my hair to just grow already. I'm sick of it being short. I'm NOT cutting it for a LONG time either. Hell, I got these things put in because I hated it so damn much. That says something.
Floorsets seriously fuck up your sleep schedule. We worked from 9pm til about 7am on Saturday (into Sunday) then from 5pm til about 330ish-am on Sunday (Monday morning) and I slept until about 1:20ish today when Ash called. That means I've been up for almost 14 hours - and I'm still wide awake. I've been sitting here messing w/ my MySpace layouts and trying to figure out if I wanted it to be the one that I ended up with or what. I think if I'm still awake after this I'm putting in a new slideshow because the one I had up from my birthday was getting old.
November 1st we have a FREE bowling party to hit up at Woodhaven lanes, and that makes me excited. I'm only spending like $4 to bowl for 2 hours - and I get to have my buddies come with. Up to 10 people ! Wowza !! LoL
I like the new auto-save feature on here. It's been here for a while, but it's good to know that if my computer decided it wanted to be stupid for some reason my entry would still be here.
And with that, Goodnight kiddies !