[for Meredith]

[missingthekeep]

He doesn't dream. From the second that Sean's head hits the bed, missing his pillow entirely, to that miserable moment when consciousness filters back to him and he forces his eyes open, his thoughts are naught but darkness. The time is lost to him entirely, wasted, but unfortunately, he's got other concerns that are too pressing to allow him the

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[drownondryland]

Meredith stops in the doorway when she spots him sitting up, hands resting on the door as she leans half into the room. "You're up," she notes. It's a moment later she sees the flask he's holding and has to steel herself not to comment. He's had a long, hard week, and Lexie doesn't know what she's talking about. This is something they can handle. The important thing is that Sean is here and fine, even if he looks a little off just now. "How are you feeling?"

[missingthekeep]

"'Bout as well as I look, I'd wager," Sean mutters, the flask gone as quickly as it appeared as he tucks it smoothly back into his pocket. He leans over the edge of the bed, rubbing his palms against his eyes in a vain attempt to block out the brutal sunlight that's streaming in, but gives it up as a lost cause quickly enough. "Me head's poundin' like somethin's tryin' t'escape, we got anythin' ta drink?"

[drownondryland]

"Water," Meredith says, careful to make it sound less pointed than it is. She's not sure she manages. "You're probably dehydrated, all that time down there." If he didn't have time for rest, she doubts he found a lot of time to find sources of drinkable water. He managed enough to still be here, but she's sure he still needs that more than what she's got in the cabinet. "I'll get you some, just a sec."

[missingthekeep]

"I wasnae askin' fer water," Sean replies darkly, making no such efforts to curb his tone. To be fair, he can probably use that as well, his mouth feels lined with sandpaper and whatever liquor they have left laying around isn't going to do much to quench his thirst, but that's hardly the point and she knows it. Still, he makes no attempts to stop her, knowing full well that she'll do whatever she feels is best for him either way, and instead forces himself to his feet to go rooting around on his own.

[drownondryland]

"I know you didn't," Meredith says, coming back with a glass full of it all the same. "But water's what you need. Will you put that down?" She had trouble enough back when his throat was injured, although at least back down the injury itself made it a bit easier to get him to see sense, but now she has no excuse, no reason beyond the combination of talking to her half-sister and seeing him now, jarring after days apart. It's tough to tell now if it's just bad because of what he's been through or if she's been looking too much the other way.

[missingthekeep]

Sean scowls without answering before he finishes as much of his drink as he can in one go, getting it down enough that he can take the glass she offers him and dump what's left in it, filling it right to the lip. He hadn't exactly planned on starting things off with such a bang, but when she gets stubborn like this, he might as well be arguing with a child. Far better to go along as far as he's willing, and he makes a show of setting his empty glass down and taking a sip of water. "Happy now?"

[drownondryland]

"No." He asked, after all. Meredith bristles and steps away, sitting down hard on the edge of the bed and watching him. It'll take more than one drink to get him drunk, but that doesn't mean she wants him filling up on alcohol before he heads back down there. Likewise, it's going to take more than a sip of water to help him out, but there's no point in telling him that. It isn't like he'll listen. "No, I'm not." She hasn't been happy in a long damn time.

[missingthekeep]

Sean rolls his eyes and dispenses with an exasperated sigh. Like arguing with a child, honestly. Still, he's already starting to perk up, and with that, patience starts to be a little easier to come by, so he joins her on the edge of the bed. The long drink of water he takes this time isn't just to placate her, since he really is parched, and since it's unmixed, it actually manages to have a bit of kick to it for the time being, anyway. Everyone wins. "There, see? Dinnae be that way, I'm feelin' better a'ready, thank ye."

[drownondryland]

Meredith bites her tongue, looking petulantly over. It's not just this, it's not just today, though she's been fighting those thoughts with everything in her, struggling to stay afloat and put their losses behind her for the time being. She's never been able to say until when. Until he's fine. Until she can handle them. Until never. Any time but now. If she lets herself think it, if she lets herself say it, it's over, she won't be able to keep it locked out. Sometimes, though, the pressure just builds up too high. "Well, I'm not," she says. Mostly she's tired.

[missingthekeep]

Now Sean's confused on top of feeling lousy, which is just a recipe for getting testy, but he exercises enormous restraint in the matter and just sighs again, once more reminding himself that it's been a long week for everyone. "Well, what in the hell's the matter?"

[drownondryland]

"What do you think is the matter?" Meredith asks, though it's rhetorical. She isn't trying to trap him into a wrong answer, though as soon as she's said it, she's earnestly curious what, if anything, he'd come up with, since apparently everything's so fine and dandy. She sighs. "I'm just tired. And you only just woke up and already - you're going to start drinking and then just go back down there? Seriously?"

[missingthekeep]

"Why, did ye have plans fer today?" Sean asks, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He distracts himself briefly with a drink of much-needed water to avoid further snapping at her. Coming home wasn't supposed to add stresses to his life, but she's emotional, she's irrational, she'll get over it. "Look, d'ye see me runnin' out the door? I still need a shower, a shave, a proper meal... I'm in no rush, lass, e'en if I prob'ly should be."

[drownondryland]

He makes her feel so selfish sometimes. Meredith doesn't even think he means to do it; for the most part, it has to do with the fact she's being selfish. He just makes her uncomfortable aware of it. Glancing down and away, she nods. "Fine," she says. It isn't, but what is she supposed to say, that he's not supposed to help? She can't keep him from this. "I'm just saying, you don't need to drink first, it's the middle of the freaking day."

[missingthekeep]

"I dinnae need ta do anythin'," Sean says, overly defensive even as he stands up and tries to downplay how much she's getting to him. There's no reason for it, all the worrying she's no doubt been doing this past week is just catching up to her, that's all. He should be flattered that she's concerned, really. "I dinnae care what time it is, I jus' got up from a lousy nap feelin' like someone knocked me about with a hammer sometime in the last few minutes. It's hair o' the dog, Meredith, I'm hardly 'bout ta have meself a party 'fore I head back down."

[drownondryland]

"It's not a nap if it lasts most of a day," Meredith says dryly. It's far from her first concern, but it's the easiest response to make when she doesn't know how to answer, if she's just letting Lexie get to her or if something's as wrong as it now seems to be after all. She's let it go unmentioned for months, does it really matter now? "Okay. Forget I said anything."

[missingthekeep]

Sean's about to tell her that he'll do just that when he finally processes all that she's said and halts in his tracks to turn back to her with a frown. "What in the hell're ye talkin' about, most of a day? The sun's blazin' out there, what time is it?"