on summer vacation and other variables to existence

[missingmarcus]

i have so much to say, but for some reason i can't get myself to say any of it.
all that i'm stuck on is this idea that i can't trust myself - this idea that my emotions are always changing/shifting with the wind of circumstances that fly by my head.
see... well, let's just say that i'm lucky to be leaving for a few months.
i don't think that i could make a decision otherwise.

i've been reading a lot of "mere christianity"
and it's making me feel good
because lewis is saying exactly what i think now
which is awesome
because anytime anybody amazing like lewis agrees with you
you feel great

i played "texas hold 'em" yesterday for the first time
i won all of my money back
so i was proud enough

and "ed" is still about my life
the holly/bonnie

and how dana actually cares about me
while neither of us care about eachother

and how i have friends that care about me
even though i don't care about them much more than random people

i'm sorry for being a bad friend
but i can't help caring for people off of the street
so you can get mad at me
but i'm not going to change it

finally, i'm gonna go take a nap.