you want to know how I feel? here it is..
things need to ease up a bit.
I need to talk to people about things. I need to listen to others. I need to find out who I really am right now and if it's the person I want to be. Where I want to be. If I'm truly happy. If not, what's wrong?
I want things to be how they were. I know I can't turn back time and make everything that went bad not. I just know that you can work things out and fix the aftermath of your choices; only if the people whom you hurt care enough to let you.
I know life isn't suppose to be easy and the teenage years are difficult because you're beginning to enter the real world and learn that you can't trust everyone and sometimes you can't even trust yourself. I know there are plenty of years to come where I will endure hardships so I just want to make it seem, well, not make it seem but actually make these teenage years the best years I could ask for and not regret anything. I don't really regret anything right now. I feel everything happens for a reason. Obstacles are there to test your strength.
I'm sick of crying, every week just about, and making it so bad that I end up making myself sick. I don't want that and I don't need that.
What my problem is, and people agree, is that I don't open my mouth. I don't tell people what I want and how I feel. I just go along with what other people say because it's easier. I'm scared to know the reactions of people if I were to tell them how I feel. I hate arguing. I hate being yelled at. I hate hurting, being hurt and hurting others.
I used to be the sweetheart, now I'm the bitch. I used to be the best friend and now I'm nothing. I have my boyfriend, but I need my friends just as much if not more. Truth is I can't live without them.
They're the ones who have gotten me through the ups and downs for almost 16 years. They're the ones who bitched at the assholes who made me cry. They're the ones who made me laugh when I was down. The ones I could be myself around and just live the way I wanted to. As long as I was with them I didn't have to care about anything else for the moment being.
I liked that feeling. I miss that feeling. I want that feeling.
I need to talk to people about things. I need to listen to others. I need to find out who I really am right now and if it's the person I want to be. Where I want to be. If I'm truly happy. If not, what's wrong?
I want things to be how they were. I know I can't turn back time and make everything that went bad not. I just know that you can work things out and fix the aftermath of your choices; only if the people whom you hurt care enough to let you.
I know life isn't suppose to be easy and the teenage years are difficult because you're beginning to enter the real world and learn that you can't trust everyone and sometimes you can't even trust yourself. I know there are plenty of years to come where I will endure hardships so I just want to make it seem, well, not make it seem but actually make these teenage years the best years I could ask for and not regret anything. I don't really regret anything right now. I feel everything happens for a reason. Obstacles are there to test your strength.
I'm sick of crying, every week just about, and making it so bad that I end up making myself sick. I don't want that and I don't need that.
What my problem is, and people agree, is that I don't open my mouth. I don't tell people what I want and how I feel. I just go along with what other people say because it's easier. I'm scared to know the reactions of people if I were to tell them how I feel. I hate arguing. I hate being yelled at. I hate hurting, being hurt and hurting others.
I used to be the sweetheart, now I'm the bitch. I used to be the best friend and now I'm nothing. I have my boyfriend, but I need my friends just as much if not more. Truth is I can't live without them.
They're the ones who have gotten me through the ups and downs for almost 16 years. They're the ones who bitched at the assholes who made me cry. They're the ones who made me laugh when I was down. The ones I could be myself around and just live the way I wanted to. As long as I was with them I didn't have to care about anything else for the moment being.
I liked that feeling. I miss that feeling. I want that feeling.