Tootle's Guide to Muzak Madness!!
(I originally posted this to the kinkoids_unite community).
Hello friends,
As a person who is employed at Fedinkos, but really should be working at a music store, I spend a lot of time thinking about the music that is played the Muzak (or used to, for some of you.) R.I.P Muzak.
First off, the 80's station has always been popular at our humble Olympia branch. Even some customers make comments when it isn't on the 80's station. The 80's station boasts of containing roughly 75% instantly forgettable songs that vary from the utterly bland to the nauseatingly bad. Let us begin with the 80's:
The Songs I Never Get Tired of Hearing on the 80's Station
-----------------------------------------------------------
Joy Division, "Love Will Tear Us Apart"
New Order, "True Faith"
Pet Shop Boys, pretty much anything besides "West End Girls", which has been played to death, but I'd like to nominate "It's A Sin" as the best of all the P.S.B songs on there.
Oingo Boingo, also pretty much anything. You know, one of the Oingo Boingo's biggest hits was "Dead Man's Party", and they chose not to put that song on the station, as far as I can remember. They do have "Only a Lad" though, and a few others, which surprises me, because I don't think they were ever particularly big hits.
Animotion, "Obsession"
The Church, "Under the Milky Way"
Echo and the Bunnyman, "Lips Like Sugar"
Falco, "Rock Me Amadeus"
David Bowie, "Ashes to Ashes"
Electric Light Orchestra, "Twilight". Too bad the version they have on there doesn't have the opening vocoder lines.
The Wurst of the 80's Station
------------------------------
The Power Station, "Some Like It Hot". I had never heard this song before I started working at Fedinkos, but every time I hear it, it is like being pummeled in the face with a slab of awfulness. I hate that fucking song.
Hall and Oates, "Private Eyes". Actually, this song fascinates me as much as I feel repelled by it.
Yello, "Oh Yeah", at least this is hilarious. Which reminds me..
WHY ISN'T RICK ASTLEY ON THE 80'S STATION??? I heard him on another station, and it was awesome, because it was like the whole store was being rick roll'd.
The other most popular station is the 50's and 60's station, and this is definitely one of my favorite stations, because all the amazing songs easily outweigh the dreck.
The Best of the 50's and 60's Station
---------------------------------------
The Shirelles, "Boys"
The Velvelletes, "Needle in a Haystack"
Barbara Lynn, "You'll Lose a Good Thing" (!)
The Crystals, "He's a Rebel"
Clarence "The Frogman" Henry - "Ain't Got No Home"
Brenda Lee, "Emotions"
The Trashmen, "Surfin' Bird"
Bee Gees, "I Started a Joke"
Roy Orbison, "In Dreams"
The Electric Prunes - "I Had too Much to Dream Last Night"
The Standells - "Dirty Water"
The Music Machine - "Talk Talk". Yea! This and the two previous songs are on the Nuggets comp.
The Wurst of the 50's and 60's
------------------------------
Royal Teens, "Short Shorts". Ugh, what an awful song. It also reminds me of 90's shaving commercials for women.
Gary Puckett, "Young Girl". Actually, I love this song as much as I hate it. Sleaze to the top.
The 70's (An overview)
---------------------------
Most of the 70's station is pretty awful, with Captain and Tennille-type soft rock dominating the playlist. However! It is worth putting on the 70's station because Sylvester's "You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)" is on it and so is Donna Summer's "I Feel Love". There are a few other worthwhile ones, but I can't think of any right now.
In Conclusion
--------------
I recommend listening to the Rawhide station, because it is nothing but old time country, and it is great and it freaks customers out.
Hello friends,
As a person who is employed at Fedinkos, but really should be working at a music store, I spend a lot of time thinking about the music that is played the Muzak (or used to, for some of you.) R.I.P Muzak.
First off, the 80's station has always been popular at our humble Olympia branch. Even some customers make comments when it isn't on the 80's station. The 80's station boasts of containing roughly 75% instantly forgettable songs that vary from the utterly bland to the nauseatingly bad. Let us begin with the 80's:
The Songs I Never Get Tired of Hearing on the 80's Station
-----------------------------------------------------------
Joy Division, "Love Will Tear Us Apart"
New Order, "True Faith"
Pet Shop Boys, pretty much anything besides "West End Girls", which has been played to death, but I'd like to nominate "It's A Sin" as the best of all the P.S.B songs on there.
Oingo Boingo, also pretty much anything. You know, one of the Oingo Boingo's biggest hits was "Dead Man's Party", and they chose not to put that song on the station, as far as I can remember. They do have "Only a Lad" though, and a few others, which surprises me, because I don't think they were ever particularly big hits.
Animotion, "Obsession"
The Church, "Under the Milky Way"
Echo and the Bunnyman, "Lips Like Sugar"
Falco, "Rock Me Amadeus"
David Bowie, "Ashes to Ashes"
Electric Light Orchestra, "Twilight". Too bad the version they have on there doesn't have the opening vocoder lines.
The Wurst of the 80's Station
------------------------------
The Power Station, "Some Like It Hot". I had never heard this song before I started working at Fedinkos, but every time I hear it, it is like being pummeled in the face with a slab of awfulness. I hate that fucking song.
Hall and Oates, "Private Eyes". Actually, this song fascinates me as much as I feel repelled by it.
Yello, "Oh Yeah", at least this is hilarious. Which reminds me..
WHY ISN'T RICK ASTLEY ON THE 80'S STATION??? I heard him on another station, and it was awesome, because it was like the whole store was being rick roll'd.
The other most popular station is the 50's and 60's station, and this is definitely one of my favorite stations, because all the amazing songs easily outweigh the dreck.
The Best of the 50's and 60's Station
---------------------------------------
The Shirelles, "Boys"
The Velvelletes, "Needle in a Haystack"
Barbara Lynn, "You'll Lose a Good Thing" (!)
The Crystals, "He's a Rebel"
Clarence "The Frogman" Henry - "Ain't Got No Home"
Brenda Lee, "Emotions"
The Trashmen, "Surfin' Bird"
Bee Gees, "I Started a Joke"
Roy Orbison, "In Dreams"
The Electric Prunes - "I Had too Much to Dream Last Night"
The Standells - "Dirty Water"
The Music Machine - "Talk Talk". Yea! This and the two previous songs are on the Nuggets comp.
The Wurst of the 50's and 60's
------------------------------
Royal Teens, "Short Shorts". Ugh, what an awful song. It also reminds me of 90's shaving commercials for women.
Gary Puckett, "Young Girl". Actually, I love this song as much as I hate it. Sleaze to the top.
The 70's (An overview)
---------------------------
Most of the 70's station is pretty awful, with Captain and Tennille-type soft rock dominating the playlist. However! It is worth putting on the 70's station because Sylvester's "You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)" is on it and so is Donna Summer's "I Feel Love". There are a few other worthwhile ones, but I can't think of any right now.
In Conclusion
--------------
I recommend listening to the Rawhide station, because it is nothing but old time country, and it is great and it freaks customers out.