What day is it again?
Dear diary,
It's been a hundred years since I've been on here to post. I've caught up on reading a couple of times, but since the server inadvertently blocked us at work, it's been difficult to get on here. I randomly tried today, and it worked, so here goes.
This year has been so weirdly surreal, I don't really even know where to start. I dumped Heather for good, i wrecked my car, got a new car, lost one of the best people I've ever known, reconnected with an old friend, hidden under my rock, and generally minded my business.
I'm pretty comfortable under here. Not much going on, but then again, that means there isn't much to burst my bubble.
Kids are awesome, still pains in my ass, but doing well... Jacks a freshman in highschool this year which is scary as shit, but what can I do? I've already tried chopping his legs off, but he pointed out that wouldn't actually stunt his growth, and then I'd have to take care of him as a half person.
I finally got to the point where I wanted to be, but it was through that series of weird and horrid events, I suddenly realized which avenues
should be priority, and which didn't mean shit.
I am comfortable where I am, with a dash of 'now I can do this'. And it's good. It's just quiet. It's just peaceful. It's just, I am going to do my thing, and my thing consists of way less than it used to. Not true.. it's just way different.
I guess in a way I am a better person for it.
Action figure Jesus and I still hang out and blow one out for the homey. That's important to me. Sad, and painful, but
I took it with me when I retreated.
I wish things could have been different. Wait. Also untrue.. I wish I would have done things differently.
The hurt of that won't go away, and I don't really want it to. It reminds me everyday that there is bigger than me out there.
That sometimes my needs or wants don't come first.
That sometimes, you need to just shut up and be there for the people who matter, no matter what.
Sometimes, it's okay to be vulnerable and ask a lot sooner.
It's okay to say, I was wrong. How can i make this better for you? I want to be in your life daily.
I don't know what it all means, I just know that I found a spot where life goes on, it just goes on differently.
And thats okay too.
hope all is well with you in journal land.
It's been a hundred years since I've been on here to post. I've caught up on reading a couple of times, but since the server inadvertently blocked us at work, it's been difficult to get on here. I randomly tried today, and it worked, so here goes.
This year has been so weirdly surreal, I don't really even know where to start. I dumped Heather for good, i wrecked my car, got a new car, lost one of the best people I've ever known, reconnected with an old friend, hidden under my rock, and generally minded my business.
I'm pretty comfortable under here. Not much going on, but then again, that means there isn't much to burst my bubble.
Kids are awesome, still pains in my ass, but doing well... Jacks a freshman in highschool this year which is scary as shit, but what can I do? I've already tried chopping his legs off, but he pointed out that wouldn't actually stunt his growth, and then I'd have to take care of him as a half person.
I finally got to the point where I wanted to be, but it was through that series of weird and horrid events, I suddenly realized which avenues
should be priority, and which didn't mean shit.
I am comfortable where I am, with a dash of 'now I can do this'. And it's good. It's just quiet. It's just peaceful. It's just, I am going to do my thing, and my thing consists of way less than it used to. Not true.. it's just way different.
I guess in a way I am a better person for it.
Action figure Jesus and I still hang out and blow one out for the homey. That's important to me. Sad, and painful, but
I took it with me when I retreated.
I wish things could have been different. Wait. Also untrue.. I wish I would have done things differently.
The hurt of that won't go away, and I don't really want it to. It reminds me everyday that there is bigger than me out there.
That sometimes my needs or wants don't come first.
That sometimes, you need to just shut up and be there for the people who matter, no matter what.
Sometimes, it's okay to be vulnerable and ask a lot sooner.
It's okay to say, I was wrong. How can i make this better for you? I want to be in your life daily.
I don't know what it all means, I just know that I found a spot where life goes on, it just goes on differently.
And thats okay too.
hope all is well with you in journal land.