Title: Owner of a Lonely Heart
Fandom: Glee
Characters: Puck/Rachel
Word Count: 5,021
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After Finn breaks up with Rachel, she decides that she’s never going to let anyone hurt her like that ever again.
Author's Note: This is a monster that kind of got away from me. It could potentially be the worst thing I've ever written or it could be kind of okay. I just can't make up my mind.
After Finn breaks up with Rachel, she decides that she’s never going to let anyone hurt her like that ever again. She thought she and Finn were a pair: two fragile, insecure hearts in confident exterior casings. She was wrong.
Finn tells her right before glee on a Friday that he and Quinn have been talking. He’s quick to assure her that they haven’t done anything, but they’ve been talking about where and how things went wrong. (Rachel guesses around the time Quinn decided it would be a good idea to sleep with Noah.) The result is that Quinn and Finn have decided to make another go of it.
She can’t decide which is worse: that Finn was emotionally cheating or that Finn lied to her when he told her he would never break up with her. She ends up deciding that neither of those is the worst thing. The worst thing is that she knew her heart would get crushed and she let it happen anyway.
Finn tells her he hopes they can still be friends. He doesn’t want glee to suffer. She agrees, but Quinn makes it almost impossible. She’s not any more cruel or bitchy than she normally is, but there’s a showy quality to everything she does, almost as though she’s rubbing it in.
The feud splits glee right down the middle. Mike and Sam are on her side. They’ve both recently been dumped, so they’re sympathetic. Mercedes and Kurt side with Finn and Quinn. It doesn’t surprise Rachel; Mercedes is Quinn’s best friend and Kurt and Finn are basically brothers. Besides, Mercedes and Kurt are joined at the hip. She is a little shocked and hurt that Tina and Artie have picked Finn and Quinn. She thought she and Tina were friends.
What shocks her beyond all belief is that Noah, Santana and Brittany are quite clearly on her side. Rachel and Noah had become sort of friends while she was dating Finn. They weren’t the kind of friends that actually hung out, but they got along just fine when they were at group functions. He’d even given her a ride home a few times when Finn wanted to stay at a party and Rachel was ready to leave.
Brittany does everything that Santana does, and Santana just walks up to her in the hallway one day and says, “Don’t think this means I like you or anything, but you’re better than that dumb bitch.”
~*~*~
Finn (Quinn) and Rachel have a huge fight over the inclusion of an acoustic version of “Beautiful Girls” in their set list for the McKinley High Fall Invitational. Rachel insists that it’s fresh and original and should be included. Finn (Quinn) thinks that the song is overused and deals with inappropriate subject matter.
Mr. Schuester has had enough.
“Guys! This isn’t helping us at all. Clearly, we’ve got some problems getting along. But our invitational is coming up and that sets us up for Sectionals, guys. We’ve gotta take this seriously.”
“Mr. Schuester, clearly certain members of this team are not quite as well versed in the art of set list preparation. I think it would be wise to allow those individuals who know what they are doing to organize our set list for invitational.”
“Maybe the reason we’re always losing is because people don’t really know what they’re doing.” Rachel shoots Finn a dirty look.
“This is what I’m talking about, guys. You’re not focusing on the important stuff. So I’ve got an idea. We’re going to turn this energy that you’ve been using to fight each other into something positive. You’ve already picked your teams. I want each team to come up with a 10 song set. You need to have at least one ballad, one duet, one mash-up and three group numbers. Be creative.”
“Excuse me, Mr. Schuester, but I really don’t see how this is at all relevant to our preparation for our invitational or for sectionals.”
“Well, Rachel, the winning team will get to pick the entire set list for our invitational, and we’ll be picking our numbers for sectionals based on how they do at the invitational.”
The room erupts as everyone starts to huddle with their team to get started. From one look at Rachel’s face, Puck knows they have to win this.
His mom’s working late tonight, and Sarah’s going to a sleepover, so he offers his house up for a planning session.
“Yo. My house, 6:00, bring snacks. Nobody better be fuckin’ late. And bring good snacks.”
By 6:00, everyone has made it to his house, and they’re all ready to get down to work.
They literally go through everyone’s iPods and both Puck and Rachel have a shitload of sheet music.
At 9:00, they’re debating over whether to arrange their own mash-up or to do one that Sam found online, when Santana just lays it out.
“Look, those fucktards wouldn’t know originality if it walked up and bitch-slapped them. They’re gonna do a bunch of 70s and 80s rock, Kurt’ll do Broadway, they’ll break out a fat black lady song for Mercedes, and Quinn will sing something by some hippie chick that doesn’t shave. Tina and Artie might do something creative if they can stop fucking for like five seconds. I say we focus on picking the right songs and doing kick-ass arrangements. We know we can rock this mash-up Blondie found, and they’re not gonna do anything half as good, so let’s fuckin’ do it and move on.”
They know she’s right and it gives them a fresh wave of enthusiasm.
When Puck’s mom comes home at 11:00, they have a list of 30 songs that they’re going to work on over the weekend. Sam offers his place for Saturday and Mike offers his place for Sunday afternoon.
After the others have left, Rachel stays to help Puck clean up.
“We’re gonna win, ya know.” Puck says as she’s pulling on her jacket.
“Of course we are. We have superior vocalists, and they have no dancers. I just want to blow them out of the water.”
“We will.” Rachel opens the door and Puck stands in the doorway behind her, looking up and down the street. “Hey, where’s your car?”
“It’s in the shop.”
“How’re you getting home?”
“I’m going to walk.” She says to him like it’s the most obvious answer.
“Fuck that. You’re not walking.”
“I’m perfectly capable of making my way home on foot. It’s not that far.”
“Rachel, it’s like eight blocks, and it’s dark and it’s cold.”
“And how, exactly, do you propose I get home?”
“I’ll drive you. Fuck, you think I’m a total asshole?” He grabs his keys and pulls on his own jacket. “Let’s go.”
And that’s how it starts.
~*~*~
As soon as Rachel got home from Noah’s, she’d texted Sam to find out if it would be okay if she arrived early to make breakfast.
So at 7:30 she’s knocking on Sam’s door with all the ingredients for breakfast.
“Woah, let me help you.” Sam says when he opens the door and can’t even see Rachel’s face because she’s carrying so much stuff. “You planning on feeding an army?”
Rachel sets the rest of her supplies on the counter and shrugs off her coat as she answers, “I figured I should bring a lot of food. Brittany and I don’t eat much, but Noah, Mike and Santana eat like pigs, and I assume that you have a healthy appetite as well. Plus, your parents and your brothers, and I know boys tend to eat a lot.”
“You don’t have to make my family breakfast, Rachel. They can open a package of poptarts like they usually do.”
“You’re very kindly letting us use your house, the least I can do is cook your family breakfast.”
Rachel and Sam are cooking and laughing together when Puck shows up an hour later. The sight of Rachel and Sam looking so comfortable does something to Puck’s gut. Something that he’d ignored while Rachel had been dating Finn.
“Smells awesome. What’s cookin’?” He asks as he strolls into the kitchen.
“Latkes, scrambled egg beaters and vegetarian bacon.” Rachel smiles at him over her shoulder as she works at scrambling the eggs. Sam leaves when the doorbell rings again.
“You know you’re like my mom’s dream come true, right?” Rachel’s smile brightens a notch, which Puck thought was like a physical impossibility. He’s about to say something more when Sam comes back into the kitchen followed by Mike, Santana and Brittany.
“Breakfast is ready. Let’s eat and get down to work.”
~*~*~
By the end of the weekend, they’ve narrowed their list of songs from 30 to 15. They’re still working out kinks in the arrangements of a few songs, but they’ve also got some definites that they just need to practice the hell out of.
The girls are working on Spice Girls’ “Stop”. They’ve got a kick-ass a capella version of “Wonderwall” that if they can pull off, pretty much guarantees that they’ll win.
Puck and Sam are working on a duet. They’ve tried out a few and can’t make up their minds.
Rachel is going to work with Mike so that he can participate in a guys’ number. Rachel’s probably going to pull out a Barbra or a Bette number.
Sam found an awesome mash-up of OneRepublic’s “Apologize” and Taylor Swift’s “Love Story” that they can totally rock the house with.
They want to do a male-female duet right before their big finale (“Revolution”). Rachel thinks Santana and Sam should do “Nobody Wants to be Lonely”. Santana thinks Puck and Rachel should do “What Can I Say”. They’re at loggerheads.
But they’re going to practice the numbers that have been assigned to them and come back next weekend and make the final decision, so that they still have a week to practice their final set.
~*~*~
Rachel and Puck have been working on their duet every day. They take any chance they can get to work on their numbers.
Noah is remarkably charming when he wants to be.
She doesn’t want him to be.
Rachel can feel the pull that she always feels when she spends time with Noah. There’s always been something there.
She doesn’t want there to be anything there.
Rachel just wants to win this assignment. She wants to show Finn that she doesn’t need him to be great. She wants to show Quinn that this hasn’t ruined her.
It will ruin her if she gets pulled into something and gets her heart broken again. This time, she has to be bulletproof.
So Noah can take all of his charm, his bad boy appeal, his sarcasm and nice eyes and exquisitely sculpted upper body and he can kindly get stuffed.
~*~*~
Puck hasn’t been talking to Finn since Finn broke up with Rachel. It’s not like they were best friends again, but they’d been able to talk without punching each other in the throat. Puck totally wants to hit that kid smart, ‘cause he sure as hell can’t get any stupider.
So basically he’s just avoiding Finn.
Puck’s getting dressed after practice and talking to Sam about stupid shit like video games and stuff their kid siblings like (Wizards of Waverly Place is lame, but it keeps them occupied).
“Later, Evans. I gotta go meet Rach.” Sam’s still getting dressed as Puck shuts his locker.
Finn’s ears immediately perk up. Why the heck is Puck meeting Rachel?
“It’s Britt’s place tonight, right?”
“Yeah. We’re getting Chinese. Text Rachel what you want.”
Puck’s just about to leave when Frankenteen gets in his way.
“Be careful with Rachel.”
“What the fuck?”
“I know what you’re like with girls and Rachel doesn’t deserve that.” Finn tells him seriously.
“Like she deserved to have you cheat on her?”
“I didn’t cheat on her! I broke up with Rachel before I got back together with Quinn.”
“Call it whatever you want, douchebag. It’s still cheating.”
~*~*~
Sam approaches Santana halfway through the week.
“I’m just going to stand over here and say this right out, ‘cause you kinda scare me. We have to mess up our duet. It has to be Puck and Rachel.”
“Their chemistry is hella insane, huh?”
“It’s like Butler and Heigl.”
“What?”
“The Ugly Truth?”
“Never seen it. Too girly.”
“Huh.”
“We can’t fuck it up too bad, ‘cause, hello, we be awesome. It’s gotta be believable.”
“It’ll be super not awesome.” Santana simply rolls her eyes and walks away.
~*~*~
They’re all supposed to be meeting at Noah’s this afternoon to make the final decisions about song choices. She shows up a little early, as usual, to get things set up.
Noah’s goofing off and playing random songs on his guitar, singing lines every now and then. When he starts playing “Just the Way You Are”, she gets this feeling in her stomach, something like the butterflies she used to get when she first started dating Finn, but so much more. When he looks up from his guitar, right into her eyes, she knows that he means every word he’s singing to her. That feeling in her stomach unfurls and leaves her feeling warm from head to toe.
She’s just leaning in to him when Brittany arrives. Saved by the blonde.
This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. It has to stop.
~*~*~
Rachel can’t quite believe what she’s hearing. She really doesn’t understand how two people can practice a number and actually get worse. It was fantastic earlier in the week. So fantastic that, aside from the fact that she really does not want to have to do a duet while staring into Noah’s eyes, she really, truly thought that Sam and Santana were better than they were. She very rarely admits that someone might possibly be better than she is.
But they just can’t seem to get the piece to gel. Santana’s just a bit sharp, and Sam’s just a bit flat. And Sam keeps rushing the tempo and he seriously looks like he’s afraid of Santana, making the choreography that they’ve slapped together look supremely awkward.
If it was any worse, and Santana didn’t look like she might kill Sam with her bare hands, Rachel would think that they were sabotaging themselves. Rachel thinks they just don’t work well as a duet.
Santana must have felt that something was off when singing with Sam on the weekend and known that they couldn’t pull it off. Rachel grudgingly agrees with Santana that she and Noah will have to do the duet.
~*~*~
They finally nail down their set list. Now they’re just working on making sure they have their vocals down and adding choreography. Their harmonies have to be tight, especially on “Wonderwall”. Mike and Brittany are responsible for choreography, and it’s fucking awesome.
Puck’s kinda sorry that this assignment is gonna be over in a week. First of all, ‘cause it’s awesome to be responsible for picking all their music. He’s always getting shoved to the back because of Finn and Artie and now Sam. Artie has a totally interesting voice, and Sam’s a really great singer, and they deserve the solos they do get. Finn’s voice is good, but he gets a good 90% of the male solo work and he’s not really any better than anyone else. Even Rachel takes a backseat now and then.
It’s not like he wants to be the only dude getting solos, but Puck would like to be the lead once in a while. He thinks he brings something to the table. It’s not like the only thing he can do is sing. He picks up choreography pretty quickly (unlike Finn) and he plays a few instruments that can actually, you know, carry a tune (not drums).
Secondly, he really likes working with Rachel. And not just ‘cause he’s into her. He thinks their voices really go well together and she’s just as into music as he is. But it is kinda awesome that she’s almost kissed him three times.
It happened again this afternoon. He busted out a little Bruno Mars. And not just in an “I can play this” kinda way, but ‘cause he thinks it’s the perfect song for her. When he looked up at her, she’d flushed from head to toe. Then she fucking leaned.
And then Brittany came in. And even if you want to, you just can’t hate Brittany. It’s like trying to hate puppies and rainbows and lollipops.
He’s gonna have to make his move during their performance or he’s not gonna get the chance.
~*~*~
Santana is ready to cut a bitch the day they’re set to perform their set.
She and Mike are at their lockers when they overhear a conversation between Quinn and Mercedes.
“Ready for the Rachel Berry show this afternoon, girl?”
“Please.” Quinn scoffs, “We’ll be lucky if she even allows her team in the room.”
“You know it! The only reason she hasn’t driven her team off completely is she needs bodies for the group numbers.”
Mike slams his locker door loudly, drawing their attention.
“Oh, hey, Mike! We were just talking about your team. How awful has it been?”
“Actually, it’s been awesome and we,” he gestures to Santana, who crosses her arms over her chest and glares, “don’t appreciate you ragging on our friend.”
“You’re right, Mike. We apologize.” As Santana and Mike walk away, Mercedes and Quinn’s apologetic faces dissolve into giggles.
“They’re going down!” Santana says. Mike just nods.
Here’s the thing: they actually like Rachel. Mike will freely admit it. Santana not so much.
Mike has liked Rachel since the minute he joined glee. Rachel told him he had a gift for dance and asked for pointers if he ever thought there was anything about her dancing that could be improved. And when Matt moved away, it sucked, but he had Tina so he had someone to hang out with. But now that Tina’s dumped him for Artie, it kinda sucks that his best friend has moved to the People’s Republic of Too Far Away (aka Houston). Rachel’s always sitting next to him in glee and talking to him in the hallways and sometimes she’ll text him outside of school.
Santana will deny it, but Rachel’s totally awesome. She’s exactly like Santana but in a different, more lady-like package, crap that Santana totally doesn’t have time for. Rachel’s smart, driven and ambitious. And it’s kinda nice to have a friend, not a minion. Brittany is Santana’s girl, but they’re stuck in this place that’s kinda friends, kinda girlfriends. And Brittany needs to be taken care of and protected, and Santana will always do that, but it’s nice to have someone who plays on the same level.
They have to win just to shut those two bitches down.
~*~*~
Finn’s team goes first.
It’s exactly as Santana predicted: Mercedes sings “Chain of Fools”; Kurt doesn’t do a Broadway number, but he sings Bette Midler’s “The Rose”, so it’s close enough. Quinn sings “Love Song”. Artie and Tina do a mash-up of Tom Jones songs which is actually awesome. Listening to Artie sing “Sex Bomb” is hilarious.
Finn and Quinn do the Neil Diamond and Barbra Streisand duet “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” which makes Puck fucking mad. They’re obviously trying to cause problems by doing something that screams Puck and Rachel.
Finn does Foreigner’s “I Wanna Know What Love Is”
They then proceed to do four group numbers, all of which are classic rock: “Here I Go Again”, “Hot Blooded”, “Sweet Dreams” and “Summer of ‘69”.
When they finish their set, they look smug. Like they’ve just laid down the gauntlet.
Rachel thinks their set was completely backloaded and didn’t have enough variety or any sort of cohesion in the order of songs. Mike thinks their choreography sucked ass. They basically didn’t have any. Santana thinks their costumes were retarded. She hates those stupid converse sneakers. Puck thinks Mercedes sounded nasal. Sam thinks Finn was sharp and can’t dance. Brittany thinks it’s funny that Finn and Quinn have rhyming names.
Puck and Rachel smile at each other. They’re totally gonna win this.
~*~*~
Schue gives them a ten minute break before they go on. It gives them enough time to get into the costumes Brittany and Santana have come up with. The guys are in their black dress pants and shirts with ties that match the dress of their choreography partner. The girls are in black leggings and trapeze dresses with sparkly necklines that Santana and her sisters had to wear for their cousin’s wedding. Brittany and Mike are in purple, Sam and Santana are in yellow and Puck and Rachel are in turquoise. And everyone is wearing dress shoes.
They huddle together backstage before heading on stage.
“Just remember, win or lose, we’re all still winners.” Rachel says.
“Screw that, we’re gonna take those losers down.” Puck says, smiling at Rachel while echoing her sentiment from Regionals.
~*~*~
Even if they lose (which they won’t), the look on Kurt and Schue’s faces when they see their costumes will make it all worth it. Ms. Pillsbury and her dentist boyfriend, Carl, look thrilled, like Christmas has come early.
They start off with “Let’s Get It Started”. Mike and Brittany both do backflips and then Mike lifts Brittany in this weird figure skating lift that Puck has only ever seen on TV (shut up, his mom loves it).
Then the boys sing “Mayberry”. Mike even has a little solo (two lines) that he kills. Rachel is so proud. Ms. Pillsbury has her hands clasped under her chin while she sways back and forth.
When Puck and Sam put their instruments away and Rachel plays a single note on the piano to give them their starting note for “Wonderwall”, they see the fear in the other team’s eyes. Santana has chills, they’re so good. Sam doesn’t think they’ve ever sung it this well. Schue looks totally impressed.
Sam and Puck’s duet, “Start a Band”, has all the girls a little dumbstruck. All Rachel can think is that Quinn must be feeling pretty foolish for letting both of these fabulous boys go.
Rachel and Santana do a duet of “I’m Outta Love”. The decision to put this in instead of Rachel’s solo piece had the group arguing for a good hour. But in the end, they had to side with Rachel (who insisted they do the duet). It was a better showcase of what they could do as a team, which is what would ultimately win them Sectionals.
The girls did their Spice Girls number, followed by their group mash-up of “Love Story” and “Apologize”.
Their team’s only solo number is done by Puck. Rachel heard him playing James Blunt’s “Same Mistake” and said it was too perfect not to include.
When Puck and Rachel start their duet, both Finn and Quinn look pissed. Puck and Rachel start on opposite sides of the stage and throughout the piece they move closer to each other. Rachel’s vocals are killer, but that’s not what has everyone in the room on the edge of their seats.
The tension between Puck and Rachel can literally be felt in the air. Every word is so filled with longing and lust that everyone feels like this song was written for them. Puck and Rachel never break eye contact through the whole piece.
There’s only the tiniest sliver of space between Rachel and Puck and his guitar when the song ends. As the notes fade, no one in the auditorium dares to breathe. Rachel and Puck are frozen in the middle of the room with their eyes still locked. And when Puck leans in and kisses Rachel, no one is shocked.
Rachel kisses him back for a second before pulling away and breaking the spell.
Rachel’s group sings their final number, “Revolution”. They finish to thunderous applause from their judges.
While Schue announces that Rachel’s team has won (no shocker), Rachel moves as far away from Noah as possible.
She runs from the auditorium as soon as Mr. Schuester dismisses them.
~*~*~
They’d made plans to go to Breadsticks for dinner after glee, win or lose. Then they’re going to Sam’s place for a weekend movie marathon. It’d been difficult, but Rachel had managed to get everyone’s parents to agree to the co-ed sleepover.
Puck kinda figured he’d kiss Rachel and that’d be that. Once they get a bit of the Puckerone’s magic mouth, girls fall at his feet. Figures that Rachel’d be the one that doesn’t.
Santana’s supposed to give Rachel a ride to Breadsticks, but she tells Puck it’s closer for him to give Rachel a ride. She gives him this look, so he guesses she knows.
When Rachel pulls open her door after he knocks, she looks shocked to see him.
“What are you doing here?” It comes out sounding worse than she’d like.
“Givin’ you a ride.” He says as he walks in the door.
“Santana kindly offered me a ride.”
“Yeah, she asked me to pick you up. Brittany had to go home and exercise her goldfish.” Rachel giggles as Noah rolls his eyes, “Didn’t even ask.”
“Well, it’s very kind of you to fill in.” Puck feels fuckin’ awkward, ‘cause apparently she’s just gonna pretend nothing happened. That shit’s not cool with him.
“Listen, you gonna keep pretendin’ I didn’t kiss you?” He asks. Rachel sighs, before turning to get her jacket from the closet. Her voice is muffled when she does speak.
“I think it’s for the best.”
“Like hell it is. I know you fuckin’ like me, and I think we’d be fuckin’ awesome together.” Rachel turns to face him and he sees her shoulders slump.
“I just…can’t. Not right now. I can’t go through that again.”
“Y’ever think it might not happen?”
“No, but it’s my own fault. I want things so badly, but I’m not strong enough to deal with them. I have to be stronger.”
“You think the shit that went down with El Doucho is your fault? You’re crazier than I thought.” She looks startled, and her eyes get all wide and pretty and he’s so fucked. “Look, Finn’s retarded if he thinks that this thing with Quinn is gonna work. She’s my baby mama and I love her for that, but the chick’s a stone cold bitch. No one sane would’ve dumped you for her.”
“Be that as it may, Finn is only a small portion of the problem. I know that Finn could have handled the situation differently, but it doesn’t change the fact that my heart is still broken.” The way she says it kinda makes Puck’s heart hurt. “When I do decide to enter into a new relationship, I want my heart to be whole.”
He kinda gets it. When he was…after Beth…he wasn’t really good for a whole fuckin’ lot. And he likes Rachel too much to know that things are doomed from the start.
“That’s cool. I can wait. Just promise me something?” Rachel looks relieved and nods her head. “Let us help you. We’re your friends and the only thing that makes a shitty break-up worse is being completely alone. I’ve heard chicks do this thing with ice cream and break-ups. You should try it with Britt and San.”
She smiles blindingly at him. “I can do that.”
~*~*~
Santana thinks it’s a fucking laugh riot that Finn and Quinn broke up with Rachel and Sam so they could be the popular couple (she knows things, okay?) and ended up making Sam and Rachel more popular than them. Seriously, Finn and Quinn have ended up hanging out with the loser-freak crowd, and Sam and Rachel are part of the popular group.
Sam was already pretty popular, but Rachel was nowhere near the in-crowd. Now Finn and Quinn can’t get an invite to a party without basically demanding it (Quinn does) and Rachel pretty much knows everything before it happens. That’s what happens when your best friends are football players and Cheerios.
Plus, practically having “Property of Puck” stamped on your forehead is a pretty damn good boost to the popularity level.
~*~*~
Puck waits. He doesn’t date anyone else, even though girls are throwing themselves at him (always gonna happen, he’s Puckzilla). He makes it really fuckin’ clear for them: Rachel’s the only girl he’s interested in.
And he’s thinking this whole “friends first” thing is a fucking genius idea. Like, if he and Rachel had just gone straight to the whole dating/making out/fucking thing first, he would’ve missed out on all this awesomeness. He never would’ve known that Rachel’s completely addicted to Wii bowling and Stargate. She thinks Joss Whedon is a god (Puck had never heard of the guy, cue Buffy marathon). She loves to listen to dance music when she does chores, and she loves Barbra but hates The Way We Were.
And it’s pretty damn cool that Rachel knows that he’s addicted to all things Mario. Thanks to Rachel he’s discovered that he loves British TV. She knows that he hates Usher and Sandra Bullock movies, but that The Blind Side made him cry.
So he’s waiting.
~*~*~
Rachel knows that her heart is completely healed the day she finds out that Finn and Quinn broke up. Finn asks Rachel if she wants to try again and she feels absolutely nothing except pity.
~*~*~
Rachel and Puck sing “What Can I Say” at Sectionals. At the end of the song, she leans in and kisses him.
And when they win Sectionals, she thinks it wouldn’t feel quite as good without Noah’s hand wrapped around hers.