Broken bones heal if you set them right life's a rollercoaster keep your arms inside.

[misshelenc]

I haven't done a proper update for ages, I was thinking about this in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep, and I decided that although I love this journal and reading and thinking, I use it for communities mostly, and of course reading individual friends posts, I don't feel like I have anything I want to contribute to it personally. All my life seems too trite and routine, and all I really have to say is moaning, so despite me being here often, I rarely feel the need to actually speak. So many people on here are better versions of me, there's not really a reason for me to say anything. More and more I get anxious about what I put on the internet, even in a locked, more anonymous place, and I feel like I would rather tell one person than everyone. I have always been controlling in this way but I get paranoid about everything too so it's worse. I am almost certain most of the people I know on here have long left too which makes me sad as I felt we had stuff in common and they interested me. I hate how people disappear from my life so often. I wonder about what happens to them for years after, I never forget anyone but they walk away and forget me so easily. We all grow up and get other priorities I know but I mourn the loss of old friendships often.
I don't really have much news, again I wonder if it's appropriate to post loads of stuff about my child or my health or books that everyone else has already read and written better about than me... but I am still reading everything on here and am glad to read posts from everyone.