NOT QUITE WHAT YOU WANTED IN THE FIRST PLACE BUT NEVERTHELESS
THE ESSAY THAT YOU HAVE WANTED ME TO WRITE BUT IN THE END I STILL [FAILED] BUT HERE’S A TOKEN OF MY APPRECIATION FOR YOUR EXISTENCE AKA BIRTHDAY GREETING~
Dinar,
Co captaaaaain! Happy happy happy birthday you full-grown witty snarky adorable sweet egg tart~ (づ￣ ³￣)づ (omg? thank God the emojis are like working oh so fine today yay!)
OK JUST SO YOU KNOW IT’S 4:40 HERE IN THE AFTERNOON AND I HAVE BEEN ON HIATUS FOR LIKE A FUCKING WEEK BUT THE FIRST THING I DO AT MY RESURRECTION FROM MY BURIAL IS TO FREAKING YEAH FUCKING WRITE MY BIRTHDAY MESSEJI FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU DEMANDED I WRITE MY ESSAYS I CANNOT POSSIBLY FINISH THEM RIGHT NOW. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW I’M SHAKING AND SOBBING HERE BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY ESSAYS I AM GENUINELY TRULY SORRY IF THIS WOULD TURN OUT IN A WAY YOU DON’T EXPECT IT TO BE ;A; BUT DO KNOW I’D TRY MY BEST TO MAKE DINAR FEEL SPECIAL AND REALLY LOVED BY CAPTAIN TODAY (WHICH IN FACT IS EVERY TIME WE TALK) *sorry for caps but not really because you would have understood by now how Capt. Abby can’t contain her feels and how she needs to let them all out IN THE GLORIOUS FANTASTIC WRITTEN RELEASE THAT IS CAPS LOCK <3*
Do you remember the first time we’ve met? (OMG HAHA WHY AM I DOING THIS I AM SO LAME) anywaaaay, do youuuu? :> well I do because I was the first one who followed you and you followed me and wow I really didn’t expect us to click like camera-click together ;~~~; It’s been months right and I’ll always annoy you? or talk to you and remember how I couldn’t get your name right because I actually forgot that it was dinaR and all I could remember was you introduced yourself as dinaH lmfao. I could not be anymore grateful that I have met such a wonderful and very very very awesome co-changmin stan AND most importantly a friend I could trust when I’m struggling with all kinds of issues (´ヘ｀;);;;.
To be honest, I really really REALLY OK REALLY /GET THAT RIGHT/ REALLY miss you not only in terms of spazzing on yeol’s hair, my fallen ship, THE PERFECTION THAT IS SHIM CHANGMIN and all this weird innocent-dinar-being-tainted-by-her-equally-innocent-evil-captain shit convos we had but the fact, that I feel like I’m missing a part of my little cute kokoro (HEY YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TAUGHT ME WHAT KOKORO MEANS AWWW) because no more snarky dinar on my timeline, no more dose of reality to my annoyingly-biased heart, no more crappy catfights about innocence and fanfic and porn in general and no more dinar whom I could whine and rant to whenever I wish because your college life’s now your boyfriend! D:<<<
Despite all my longing for dinar, she never came back and it hurt me but I still mention you (;_______________; because I’m loyal like that and just so you know, it feels super lonely in our ship) but like you’ve said, you were never an exo fan to begin with and tbh, it kinda hurt when you confirmed that but it’s okay I respect what co capt tells me. It was truly wonderful spending time with you and jeez this sucks this is not a farewell message ugh ok let’s try making this a bit more cheerful ok [TAKE TWO!]
I hope you could still spend more time being active on @/changmean and not on your p/a account or other account because I don’t know where else to contact you ;_____;. I hope I don’t annoy you when I still mention you about stuff (exo and/ordbsk) because I just want to. Stop telling me you’ll leave your account without telling me where you’ll go because it hurts ok? ;_____; LMFAO WOW THIS IS CHEERFUL HUUUU I JUST MISSED YOU OKAY? ;~~~~;
Honestly, I always wish the best for my friends and with that being said, all the best-est luck to you, Dinar. I know college has been pretty tough and rough for you with all your org activities and whatnot and your presentations (ugh I can only imagine that’s why I did not even dare be active on organizations because it will eat fandom time but hey that’s me being totally incapable of time management) and all your complicated sexual love for academics but you’re such a good student ok remember that (I always commend you on that aspect tho~). I want you to be successful in your course (Accountancy isn’t it? ;o or grandpa abby strikes again? orz) and get a boyfriend in the near future because you’re real awesome and amazing and then prolly get laid AND TELL ME KINKY STORIES HAHA. DON’T EVER EVER FORGET ABOUT ME OK INVITE ME IN YOUR DEBUT, WEDDING AND YOUR CHILDREN’S BAPTISM OK I NEED TO BE THERE!!!!!!
Lastly, I wish you’ll be an even better person as you enter another year of aging and stress and daily pollution and sexual temptations and hormonal problems and whatnot. I’m sorry this is too crappy for words because I just had my exams and crappy week all in all so 90% of my brain cells are effectively lost and dead and cannot be revived ;______;. I love you to the moon and back (what does that even mean lmfao) Dinar. Always think positive, eat like a changmin, stay snarky and classy, your captain is always I repeat ALWAYS here for you whenever you need anything (except MONEY BC DUH 5EVA BROKE COLLEGE STUDENT). Let me visit you after my graduation so we’ll see each other because I hate giving selcas remember. Take care, be safe, don’t annoy people too much, make me proud and excel in life!!!!!
[CLICK ME OH DINAR]
(✿◠‿◠) I love you okay and dong bang shinki oppars and chanyeol too~ I know you don’t have to be reminded but always keep the faith. thank you sooooooo much for being a part of my life <3
- THE CAPTAIN WHO’LL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU EVEN IF SHE’S ALREADY 50 AND STILL FABULOUS MIND YOU, WITH LOTS OF LOVE AND EVEN MORE LOTS OF SEX, ABBY~ :D